It is the dawning of the age of a squeaky clean anus, a clean anus, , a clean anus, a clean aaanuuss !!,
First - I've decided that I am staying in isolation even though everything is supposed to be "open".I don't give a damn what our goofy governor has to say about it. So far in just about everything he has done he's been wrong or behind the curve. I think all he is doing is now pandering to the voters who will re-elect him. He is probably guessing, and he doesn't have a clue of what's going on.
Second - I've decided that I am going to end my self imposed quarantine and begin to travel again, just as soon as the hospitals around me decide to let patients have visitors in the rooms. Maybe when they decide to resume visitation in the ICU's also.My assumption is that if I use that as the measure instead of listening to the politics, then at least it will be likely that it was a decision made by a medical professional. Maybe.
Now back to our regular program.
There for a short while, toilet paper was in short supply and other items were headed that way with items such as hand sanitizers, hygiene products and so forth being part of some grand strategy some brilliant folks had about how to make money off of our misery. I'm sure you've probably heard the stories about people buying 20 years worth of toilet paper or 15,000 cases of hand sanitizer and trying to sell them on amazon or ebay and other sites for way over inflated prices, thereby making a fortune by cashing in on shortages they tried to create. I mean , it didn't work as most of them lost their "ass" on the deal. HA!
In my family we observed some temporary spot shortages in a few stores, however I really don't think we ever had any major difficulties in obtaining TP or other items. We may have had to go to more stores , however we never actually ran out and I never had to resort to alternative methods or products to ensure a "fresh feeling down there", as the feminine hygiene sites describe it. Operation Don't use Poison Ivy never got enacted. In the news this morning though , and I hesitate to say it like this, however I shit you not, the link below is an actual news story that came up in my regular news feed from google news. I'm not kidding.
How to clean your butt - Click the link
Not only that goofiness , I am also seeing an increase in ads on social media that are promoting the sale of various forms of bidets. Everything from the cheap installation of hand held water wands to uber extreme and expensive japanese models with remote controls that have a form of facial recognition software and a camera so you can have the bidet remember your personalized gender specific settings, in a facial recognition sort of way . Just amazing!! Imagine sitting down and hearing a female voice say "Good Morning BigMike-san , would you like to begin anus ridge pressure wash? I'm laughing at my own silliness here.
5 more dumbass stories of the day
- Some ignorant social justice warrior is all up in arms and wants a police officer fired because a 14 year old kid got into a scuffle with a police officer and during the scuffle , said cop punched the kid and pinned his head to the ground in order to subdue and arrest him. Oh the humanity. Oh the injustice. Oh the terrible scars this child will have! Oh the trauma and the pain! Please. What a load of absolute stupid garbage.
Has any of you ever had to wrestle with an out of control crazy teen ager? I have several times and even as young as say 12 years old they can be as deadly and crazy as a crack addict on Friday night after food stamp day. It's like to trying to wrestle a slippery pig on PCP and they can be the craziest people you've ever met. It's worse than a bar fight and just about as crazy. They will swing on you, throw crap at your face, curse and yell, threaten and lie and do all manner of surprising and very stupid things. I've seen 14 year old with beards that look like football players and you would swear they were 30.
If the cop didn't kill him, he should be given an award for restraint for not shooting little Timmy and someone should tell those folks just to shut the hell up. That's probably not what will happen, but it should be. If you've never been punched in the eye (I have been), or bitten (I have been), or kicked in the shins and other places (I have been), or had concrete blocks thrown at you (I have experienced this) then you can't know what it took to get a grip on this little asshole nor can you ever say to a policeman "You can't do that to my little boy". Every year a dozen cops are killed by your good little boys and girls who would never act like that. If you don't want little Timmy to get his ass kicked, tell him to do what the nice policeman tells him to do , when he is told to do it and to shut his fat mouth. - In Canada there is a story about a 12 year old who is being kept in extreme isolation with around the clock care to keep him from hurting himself. He lives by himself in a state owned cabin built specifically for this kind of thing in a compound for kids like him. Basically he is totally out of control and loves to fight and scream and break and destroy things. He has severe behavioral issues, has a minimum of 2 people with him 7 days a week 24 hours a day, and is being held in a spartan minimalist type of environment.
His cabin has a steel toilet, no shower curtain, his TV is encased in a clear plastic box to prevent him from tearing it up and his furnishings have nothing that can be dismantled and used as a weapon. They call him a specialized placement child because he is a danger to himself and to others. In the past he has assaulted teachers, orderlies, his mother, principals in schools he has attended and severely beat other students, and has been expelled basically from every school he has attended.
I think his name is Reagan and he needs an exorcism. Glad he is not my kid. I wonder what they are going to do with him in 10 years?
He may need some mustard for his french fried pataters um huh. - Five things you didn't know about but are gone from movie theaters as they open.
* paper tickets
* Recyclable 3D glasses
* Self Serve Butter (Well oil but they call the crap butter, I won't miss this at all.)
* Self Serve Sodas (Ah geez)
* Cramped seating
The theaters will remove seats , charge more, which will lead to more movies selling out, and they charge more for the added costs of drawing your soda and adding your butter and call it a win.
You wait, see if I'm wrong. - Mark your calendars folks to begin tracking the new Coronavirus Death Tolls. Just about May the 14th will mark the second coming of this beast and thousands more will die starting in Georgia , because you know, It's time to get us moving again. Besides it's only a one percent death rate for crying out loud.
By the way, how is Grama and Grandpa doing these days? You think they will mind being sacrificed to the great gods of employ more people and big business bank accounts?
It's only 1% . - Only in this year, the year 2020 could UFO's be virtually confirmed by the Air Force, the Pentagon and others and it would barely blip the news feed and left us totally unfazed. In fact I had not even understood it happened until I read this story twice.
Na Noo, Na Noo,
BigMike
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