Unemployment is Over

In the middle of BaFungoo season, along the shores of a mighty dystopian future that is my laptop and from the land of the big Okeedokey at 5:30 a.m. on April 30th, 2020

Hi! I'm BigMike and you're not,

Some South Carolina mayors near the Georgia border were quoted yesterday as imploring their citizens to not even think about crossing the Georgia line, even if the mall is open because it's still too dangerous to do so. That is an amazing stand alone story that could be its own byline, headline, story and close, yet like the UFO stories that circulated yesterday, it barely made a blip on the what the hell is news anyway radar. To me that is completely I just had a dream about it stuff. Whew.

I understand but do not agree that the states are beginning to "open up" for business. OK. Factually, It also is apparent that large corporations and some meat packing plants are being identified as Covid-19 hotspots. OK. Some 60 % of employees and staff members are resting positive in this environment and somewhere between 2-5% of those folks eventually die. OK I get that. Seems very sad, but I can comprehend the numbers. They deem these places (as like the WWE wrestling business) that they are "Essential" employers. OK. Lots of pressure to get and keep these places open. OK. There is a Presidential Executive Order saying it is so. I accept that, totally brain all the facts and brain all the details. Brain, brain, brain.  I don't need to agree, however I do accept it as what is happening . OK. Also even if people are dying all around you, your job is to start back up again, you are allowed and expected to report for work so this essential place of business will remain open.I totally understand and comprehend all of that. No question.

Here is the part I don't understand and can't wrap my head around. For only one sub-set of people, You may be in the demographic that is dying from this monster, and even though that is true , and even though you are scared out of your brain, your unemployment is over. You get zeroed out and if you want money anymore and if you like eating anymore, you have to go show your face in the cesspool of germs that is where you work. If you die, you die. Oh well. It's only 1 % overall after all. No matter what. It's over, no more checks for you. Go to work and breathe a deep sigh of relief inside the plant that you still have a job at all, even if it kills you. On top of that there is comprehensive positive political rationalization for this point of view. That I don't get.

My state, the Great State of  Georgia , has dropped the part of getting your driving license where you have to prove you can ACTUALLY FRIGGIN DRIVE!! For the time being anyway, teenagers who are getting their license just have to meet all the other requirements and get a formal A-ok from mommy or Daddy that says they have met all the requirements (like 40 hours of road practice behind the wheel), and poof, You're a driver. What a time to be alive, the state is actually trusting its citizens to tell them the truth and then they put us all at risk based on the honor system.

What a day.

Jeff Spicoli said "You know we left this England place because it was bogus"

1. Among other options, officials in each league are talking about starting to play sports again without any fans in attendance. None. No one in the stands. Football, Baseball, Auto Racing, everything. I dont see that going on for long. There probably isn't an owner alive who wants to foot the bill for their uber talented pro players, drivers etc, without a revenue stream to offset the cost somehow.I mean I can see how some of them like Jerry Jones could afford it, I just don't think there is anyone who wants to do it. I would think they would cancel their respective seasons first, except for their contractual obligations to everyone who depends upon fan revenue to support it. How is this going to work?  I'm so confused.
   
2. Two big reporter goof ups this week. Two glorious examples of male dumbness too. One guy sitting there in his underwear for all the world to see. Another with a naked woman in the background (of his broadcast), and said naked woman was not his current girlfriend.
   
   I think I know how both of these turn out.
   
3. Twitter users speculated this week that a stranded kayaker might really be bigfoot (Darryl, is that you ?). Turns out ...(sigh) that it was just another lost New Yorker who got stranded on an island in Jamaica Bay in Queens. Man , I thought we finally had something.
   
4. A man in Phoenix AZ beat another man to death after he was told that the man had allegedly tried to attack his teenage daughter in the bathroom of a Quik Trip gas station. Apparently he tried to break into the stall she was in , and attempted to accost the man's daughter. The father was told about it, he caught up to the guy in the parking lot trying to scurry away and the father beat the absolute holy crap out of the guy and apparently he died in a hospital later. The father has been charged with 2nd degree murder.
   
   I can completely understand the father's actions. I'm not sure I would have prosecuted him had I been the district attorney.
   
5. Finally, this story from the Ripley's believe it or not website.
   
   The most expensive coffee in the world is made with the help of Cat poop. That's right, cat poop. Folks pay very good money for a cup of coffee made this way and say the taste is smooth, luscious , mellow and delicious. I have a lot of details, but for the sake of brevity I'll just put a link to the story and let you decide whether or not to read it.
   
   One cup is about $90, Prices range from $180- $ 600 per pound.
   
   
   Expensive Coffee made with Cat Poop - Click the link
   
   

   I like coffee as much as the next guy but .....shit.
   
   BigMike

How to have a clean anus

April 29,2020 at approximately one hour before roosters awaken or 05:00 a.M.

It is the dawning of the age of a squeaky clean anus, a clean anus, , a clean anus, a clean aaanuuss !!,

First -  I've decided that I am staying in isolation even though everything is supposed to be "open".I don't give a damn what our goofy governor has to say about it. So far in just about everything he has done he's been wrong or behind the curve. I think all he is doing is now pandering to the voters who will re-elect him. He is probably guessing,  and he doesn't have a clue of what's going on.

Second -  I've decided that I am going to end my self imposed quarantine and begin to travel again, just as soon as the hospitals around me decide to let patients have visitors in the rooms. Maybe when they decide to resume visitation in the ICU's also.My assumption is that if I use that as the measure instead of listening to the politics, then at least it will be likely that it was a decision made by a medical professional. Maybe.

Now back to our regular program.

There for a short while, toilet paper was in short supply and other items were headed that way with items such as hand sanitizers, hygiene products and so forth being part of some grand strategy some brilliant folks had about how to make money off of our misery. I'm sure you've probably heard the stories about people buying 20 years worth of toilet paper or 15,000 cases of hand sanitizer and trying to sell them on amazon or ebay and other sites for way over inflated prices, thereby making a fortune by cashing in on shortages they tried to create. I mean , it didn't work as most of them lost their "ass" on the deal. HA!

In my family we observed some temporary spot shortages in a few stores, however I really don't think we ever had any major difficulties in obtaining TP or other items. We may have had to go to more stores , however we never actually ran out and I never had to resort to alternative methods or products to ensure a "fresh feeling down there", as the feminine hygiene sites describe it. Operation Don't use Poison Ivy never got enacted. In the news this morning though , and I hesitate to say it like this, however I shit you not, the link below is an actual news story that came up in my regular news feed from google news. I'm not kidding.

How to clean your butt - Click the link

Not only that goofiness , I am also seeing an increase in ads on social media that are promoting the sale of various forms of bidets. Everything from the cheap installation of hand held water wands to uber extreme and expensive japanese models with remote controls that have a form of facial recognition software and a camera so you can have the bidet remember your personalized gender specific settings, in a facial recognition sort of way . Just amazing!!  Imagine sitting down and hearing a female voice say "Good Morning BigMike-san , would you like to begin anus ridge pressure wash? I'm laughing at my own silliness here.

5 more dumbass stories of the day

1. Some ignorant social justice warrior is all up in arms and wants a police officer fired because a 14 year old kid got into a scuffle with a police officer and during the scuffle , said cop punched the kid and pinned his head to the ground in order to subdue and arrest him. Oh the humanity. Oh the injustice. Oh the terrible scars this child will have! Oh the trauma and the pain! Please. What a load of absolute stupid garbage.
   
   Has any of you ever had to wrestle with an out of control crazy teen ager? I have several times and even as young as say 12 years old they can be as deadly and crazy as a crack addict on Friday night after food stamp day. It's like to trying to wrestle a slippery pig on PCP and they can be the craziest people you've ever met. It's worse than a bar fight and just about as crazy. They will swing on you, throw crap at your face, curse and yell, threaten and lie and do all manner of surprising and very stupid things. I've seen 14 year old with beards that look like football players and you would swear they were 30.
   
   If the cop didn't kill him, he should be given an award for restraint for not shooting little Timmy and someone should tell those folks just to shut the hell up. That's probably not what will happen, but it should be. If you've never been punched in the eye (I have been), or bitten (I have been), or kicked in the shins and other places (I have been), or had concrete blocks thrown at you (I have experienced this) then you can't know what it took to get a grip on this little asshole nor can you ever say to a policeman "You can't do that to my little boy". Every year a dozen cops are killed by your good little boys and girls who would never act like that. If you don't want little Timmy to get his ass kicked, tell him to do what the nice policeman tells him to do , when he is told to do it and to shut his fat mouth.
   
2. In Canada there is a story about a 12 year old who is being kept in extreme isolation with around the clock care to keep him from hurting himself. He lives by himself in a state owned cabin built specifically for this kind of thing in a compound for kids like him. Basically he is totally out of control and loves to fight and scream and break and destroy things. He has severe behavioral issues, has a minimum of 2 people with him 7 days a week 24 hours a day, and is being held in a spartan minimalist type of environment.
   
   His cabin has a steel toilet, no shower curtain, his TV is encased in a clear plastic box to prevent him from tearing it up and his furnishings have nothing that can be dismantled and used as a weapon. They call him a specialized placement child because he is a danger to himself and to others. In the past he has assaulted teachers, orderlies, his mother, principals in schools he has attended and severely beat other students, and has been expelled basically from every school he has attended.
   
   I think his name is Reagan and he needs an exorcism. Glad he is not my kid. I wonder what they are going to do with him in 10 years? 
   
   He may need some mustard for his french fried pataters um huh.
   
3. Five things you didn't know about but are gone from movie theaters as they open.
   * paper tickets
   * Recyclable 3D glasses
   * Self Serve Butter (Well oil but they call the crap butter, I won't miss this at all.)
   * Self Serve Sodas (Ah geez)
   * Cramped seating
   The theaters will remove seats , charge more, which will lead to more movies selling out, and they charge more for the added costs of drawing your soda and adding your butter and call it a win.
   
   You wait, see if I'm wrong.
   
4. Mark your calendars folks to begin tracking the new Coronavirus Death Tolls. Just about May the 14th will mark the second coming of this beast and thousands more will die starting in Georgia , because you know, It's time to get us moving again.  Besides it's only a one percent death rate for crying out loud.
   
   By the way, how is Grama and Grandpa doing these days? You think they will mind being sacrificed to the great gods of employ more people and big business bank accounts?
   
   It's only 1% .
   
5. Only in this year, the year 2020 could UFO's be virtually confirmed by the Air Force, the Pentagon and others and it would barely blip the news feed and left us totally unfazed. In fact I had not even understood it happened until I read this story twice.
   
   Na Noo, Na Noo,
   
   BigMike

Go to DEFCON 3

Tuesday 04/28/2020 at I slept in a lot today to almost 8:00 a.m. Wow I can't believe it

Warning.....Go to DEFCON 3, Go to DEFCON 3,

Definition of DEFCON - click here

The world and specifically the US, has (obviously) taken a lot of measures lately in order to ensure our survival, allegedly. I say allegedly because there is a subset of folks for whom what has happened with COVID-19 so far has been a huge government overreach and there is another subset of folks whom for what we've done has been nowhere near enough. The main problem with all of them is that unless you are specifically schooled in extreme ideologies or are a member of the various and numerous fringe splinter political groups, our everyday life doesn't give us the understanding that allows us to make sense of the statements of these folks and they just get labeled as "whackos" or extremists.

Frequently, Libertarians are lumped into this category shoved right up next to extremist label along with conspiracy theorists, free market theorists and surprisingly enough even progressive liberals are all smashed together in a search for words to define how these ideals are presented. One large group of usually misunderstood such groups for example are the Tea Party Conservatives. A few crazy extremists came into the party as members of the Tea Party movement and then because they got all the headlines as extremists, thats who defined them. No one remembers that Rand Paul was an inaugural member of the tea party caucus in 2011. That's what happens to non-mainstream ideals. Usually they get co-opted by the crazy few and the central themes get dispersed and diluted until you couldn't remember what they stood for in the first place.

Lots of things have changed, I suppose some of them were for the better however I'm not the best judge of the individual items. Should we have a list of essential businesses labeled by the government? The answer it seems, depends entirely upon whom you ask. If you were to ask that question of a Liberal they will tell you that it is 100% necessary in order to protect society from themselves. Non-Essential businesses had to close to prevent the spread of the disease. Then some idiot labels the WWE wrestling business as an essential business and that whole ideology is subverted by one self serving politician looking to ingratiate himself with our current President and the Libertarians went nuts. Can't say as I blame them, as the explanation that "Entertainment is important to keep the population engaged" smacks of something you would have heard in the Roman Coliseum or quite possible at the Thunderdome said by Tina Turner.

I know one thing. Nothing will go back entirely to the way it "was". The world of 2019 is gone forever and we now live forever in a COVID-19 world. Gloves were already standard with interactions with cops and social workers. My guess is that masks may have earned a place in every squad car now as well. Design standards will have to change as will the state/county/city design and building codes that drive them. I'll bet big money that salad bars, buffet meals, open air food displays and things like them will all go away in favor of social distanced and designed serving facilities. Our children's' children will never know why there was a sneeze blocking screen above the fried chicken at a Shoney's restaurant. Oh well. Things always change I guess. Otherwise we would still be eating food from the root cellar at Grandmas that she "put up" last spring.

The only thing I don't truly understand yet is why meat packing plants specifically are being identified as COVID-19 hotspots. I really can't think of a single reason as to why them and why not spaghetti factories or Tennis shoe manufacturers or some other such place.

The minister of Draconian measures will see you now.

1. I shaved off a layer of homeless yesterday. The barber shops have been closed long enough that my beard was starting to look like I was related to Tom Hanks and his buddy Wilson. It is amazing just how quick it can get out of control. I can get a haircut twice a month in regular times my hair grows so fast. Back when in was about 35 or so, I realistically could have went to the barber every 10 days , if I wanted to maintain a professional appearance. It was even worse in high school. During my freshman year we still had a dress code where I went to school and men were required to shave everyday. My beard grew so fast that occasionally I would be accused of not shaving in thee afternoon because by 2 o'clock I already have a 5 o'clock shadow.  I used to drop by the deans office sometimes in the morning before my homeroom class to show him my face in case it came up. Thankx Dad, appreciate the fur coat.
   
2. I saw a 60 Minutes broadcast on CBS the other day and they were doing some kind of expose` or another about the so called wet markets in China. It was cultural shock to see a shopkeeper skinning and chopping up a dog leg and ribs with several more in cages behind him for a customer's orders. Supposedly the authorities have ordered all of these markets closed as well as those which sell exotic meats like monkey and animals not usually shown to be sold for consumption like various reptiles and rodents. I'm not sure I believe they really closed any of them as it was a pretty huge market place and there are a billion chinese. Gotta feed em somehow, but Geez! and Yuk!
   
   It reminds me of the PETA billboard ad that shows a line of all the animals starting with pigs and cows and chickens all the way through horses and giraffes and has a tagline that says something like "Where do you draw the line", as in which ones are ok to eat. Of course some smartass took a red can of spray paint and drew a big line between horses and cows and said "Usually right about here", someone else took another can and included the horses and said "Unless it's the Apocalypse, then right here".
   
3. You haven't lived properly until you marry a nurse. Full disclosure, My wife has been a Nurse (an RN) for about 40 years or so. One of my friends I know has married one also and can probably totally relate to this statement. Don't get me wrong, It's usually pretty awesome to be able to ask questions about blood and gore during dinner time and have the answer be straight on and factual. Usually.
   
   Sometimes you get the stories from the Dark side as Nurses have a wicked dark sense of humor. They only expose it to other medical people and I'm sure the spouses hear it all the time too, but if you only knew. Man!  It's pretty amazing the stuff they go through. Did you know that a frozen stiff homeless person brought into the ER by a compassionate policeman in order to be thawed out, is called a "Bumcicle"? Hysterical.
   
   They also have pretty cool immune systems usually. If one of their family members even hints at being sick they just step outside the front door and project their immune system aura out about 150 feet and kill all the germs in a 150 foot circle. Infected squirrels? Dead by that afternoon. You also don't get much normal sympathy from a nurse/spouse even though you may feel like you deserve it. Oh you have a cut on your finger? Go wash it out and put a bandaid on it you sissy. There isn't a bone sticking out, you'll live. You don't need stitches for that, you barely need a bandaid you crybaby. Get over it. You're not going to die, quit crying. You don't get Ninja Turtle band aids either. You definItely adjust your definition of a serious injury much higher. On the other hand, I hurt my knee pretty well one time, twisted it pretty badly and had no clue what to do. My lovely bride took one look, went into the freezer and because I didn't have any ice, she took a string of frozen Icee popsicles and wrapped them on my knee and brought the swelling down. She's a superhero I'm telling you, and I'm probably going to get killed for writing this.
   
4. The navy has spent $500 Million dollars developing a weapon of the future called a railgun. It is to the point now where it works reliably and is effective. Guess what? It threatens a few traditional manufacturers of weapons in a few states and politicians have killed its funding and effectively killed it. This is the sort of thing that drives me nuts.
   
5. They say the most dangerous place in the world 100 million year ago according to the fossil record anyway was the Sahara. They say there was so many predators that if you lived there, you were going to die there. I said "Hell it is pretty damn dangerous there now!!
   
   Paleontology is old news by the way,
   
   BigMike

A boat owner has 2 happy days

Monday 04/27/2020 at 5:00 a.m.

Welcome to the elimination chamber,

It's sort of funny to me. I giggle to myself, and that's odd enough. You see I write this blog about every morning now and developed the format you see which is supposed to be a  header with the date and time for continuity, a greeting that is just different enough every day and is  styled after the Simpsons couch gag in their opening scene. You know, it's always there, it's always about the same thing, yet is different and varied enough you can see the difference each time if you read it daily, then I write a few paragraphs of free form on whatever subject and then close with a top 5 list that is styled after the David Letterman show top ten lists that is supposed to be this wry , humorous see ya.

I set it up like this to supposedly make it easier to produce. I'm really not sure that it does, but once I learned the format and how to replicate it every day, it wasn't hard to get them to look the same. If this were a newspaper or a professional publication, that would be a typesetters job or at the very least it wouldn't be the job of the writer. I enjoy it so I'm not complaining, but I am explaining how I came up with this or why I do it the way I do. Being as that only 20 - 25 people actually read the blog every day, I'm confident that it probably doesn't matter one way or the other to anyone but me anyway.

As my older brother Clyde Jr., would have said, such is life.

I made the decision several months ago to eliminate political discussions and political opinions from my blog altogether. I think I did that for good and sufficient reasons.

First it's my conclusion, based on social media feedback and other commentary and what I observe elsewhere, nobody really wants to hear a differing opinion than theirs about politics. Whatever your party or candidate affiliation, there is seemingly no toleration for parties or candidates of an opposing party. Having a opposite opinion only serves to disenfranchise potential readership and alienates people you would even call friends, if they took it personally, and oddly enough some do. Its weird. 

Second and most Important to recognize - It is a different world nowadays, and political discourse has devolved into insults and threats and denial. Instead of debate, we mud sling, curse, threaten and then block on social media. That only serves to narrow an already narrow viewpoint that I really don't want to jump into anymore. It seems as if people are looking for messiahs, and even if the messiah is a pig that wallows in the mud, it's ok to wallow in the mud as long as the mud is filled with like minded pigs. I can't do it. I wouldn't have many friends left.

Oh well, Next subject.

They say a boat owner has two happiest days of their life when owning a boat. It's the day you buy it and the day you sell it. I'm not sure if that's really true however it is true that I missed the entire season last year because the boat needs repairs (renovations) and I put it off until the season was over. This year I am going to try real hard to finish the renovation and get it back in the water. That is my next big project and is probably going to consume most of May, if it ever stops raining long enough that is. I'm only stating facts however because a drought is much worse than too much rain. Having experienced droughts somewhat, I really don't want to go through it again, cross my heart. I have wiring, painting, finishing touches and hardware replacements to complete before putting it in the water again, and I think if i apply myself I may be able to get it done, maybe. If not there is always next year. There is always next year. I have everything I need except a capable body that doesn't hurt all the time and the ability to stand up. There is a lot of value in the phrase "Go figure it out".

Observations while walking at a 45 degree angle

1. Right now I think that the TV show "Killing Eve" is the best show on television. I realize that is only my opinion and isn't a scientific conclusion and it is not empirically based. I do know when it is on, on what channel and what all the characters names are, as well as the 2 main actors actual names. That is a huge accomplishment for me because I usually don't know any of that. Usually I know the name of the show and maybe if I'm lucky I might know a tiny bit about the actors. It may not finish it's run on TV like this in my mind, but right now, it is compelling and I like it.
   
   Based on that criteria however I'm certain it is going to get cancelled.
   
   Every single show I think is good and is compelling always gets cancelled. The latest one to bite the dust was called "Deputy" on FOX. Cancelled after one season. I've decided to give in to my baser instincts and to childishly boycott new shows on FOX from now on. I'm not going to invest any more time into trying to like one of their shows, because they will just pull the rug out from under me again anyhow.
   
   Even Charlie Brown eventually gave up letting Lucy hold the football.
   
2. Once upon a time there was a car company called AMC (American Motors Corporation), they were the afterbirth of a marriage that absorbed American Rambler. I've had two Rambler style vehicles in my life, One pre merger and one post merger, with the first being almost 50 years ago that was a 1966 Rambler American with a 198 cubic inch straight six and a staggering 128 HP. The shifter was a 3 on the tree! This thing was the first car I ever had, and my Dad gave to me after he wore it out.
   
   
   1966 Rambler American Pics and Specs - Click the link
   1980 AMC Gremlin Levi Edition - Click the link
   
   

   The other one was a 1980 AMC Gremlin, where the trim and the seat covers were 100 % denim. It was badass and the first new off the lot, from the showroom car that I ever bought. I think my monthly payment was about $88. It got destroyed 6 months after I got it by being backed over the top of in a c-store parking lot during a furious snowstorm, by this fatass c-store manager woman, and even though it was repaired, it was never the same. It's funny how what made us happy back then through the lens of youth, makes us laugh today because both of them were absolute pieces of SHIT.
   
3. In both Guardians of the Galaxy movies, why is that everybody seems to be able to understand Groot, and how can he mean so many different things when all he ever says (except for one time), is "I am Groot"? You never see translators, not everybody is a god , like Star Lord or Thor in the second movie, yet everyone seems to be able to understand everything he says. The only time in either movie where it even made close to sense is when he said "We are Groot". That even my dumbass understood. I don't get it. The genius of movies I guess.
   
4. You know the show Duck Dynasty? Well over the weekend somebody shot up Willie Robertson's house. Some young guy in a pickup sprayed the house with rifle shells from the cab of his pickup, I guess from the road. It didn't say whether he was driving or not but from the story it appears no one was hurt. I wonder why? Guess the beards pissed him off.
   
5. And now for a glorious finish, the ancestral home of MS-13, the country of El Salvador has authorized their police and military forces to use deadly force when going against or arresting gangs like the aforementioned one. I guess they still have to be provoked with resistance, and IMHO that's a damn shame. Those people wreak so much havoc and kill so many innocent people they should just exterminate them if they won't submit to the will of society. I rarely say things like that, however I really don't think these guys have much in the way of redeeming value to society.
   
   
   Ok, so how about a drive ? 0-60 on the 1/4 mile in 18 seconds flat.
   
   Who is game? Bring it!
   BigMike

Idiocracy is upon us

Sunday is Funday !! 04/26/2020 at 6:00 a.m. in the morning !!

Dude! What's mine say?,

It is not difficult to sit here and type at this keyboard everyday and say a bunch of stuff until you have said enough. Word vomit is easy. I don't think it takes talent or skill to be able to put thoughts to paper. No sweat. Now writing things that someone else may want to read or is interesting enough in terms of the stories or ones anecdotes that are compelling enough to make one want to share with a friend? That is the tough part I think. Well that and putting one word in behind another in such a fashion that any of it makes any sense to the average human. Have you read some of the sentences or thoughts that people post about? Sometimes the grammar makes no sense and sometimes, although less likely to occur, sometimes the subject matter is a vapid collection of useless nonsense. Much like this blog.

My initial response when I read something that doesn't make any sense it to deride the author and maybe correct them grammar nazi style, and then I think , wait a second dude, there are tons of people out there that are smarter and have sharper better minds than yours and you could be the next one to be roasted. That happens to me all the time, because I hardly ever have all the information about something before I have an opinion about it. Opinions of mine are in huge supply on any number of subjects and having an opinion is only half of the battle. Having a coherent thought process to expound upon the opinion is a logical and thoughtful way is the other part. If you are lucky you may even be right about something once in a while.

I think if you wait until all of the evidence is in about something, then you will just end up reading the book on the subject that someone else wrote. I like to have discussion about things and am not afraid to change my mind based on new information. To me being mentally agile and having the ability to make different decisions and having a changed opinion about something based on new better  information is a sign of mental toughness.

Otherwise what does it mean when you refuse to ever see another point of view? What does it say about you if you make your mind up about something early on in the discussion and refuse to listen to any other thoughts on the issue? What kind of reliability would you have as an investigator for example if you focused only on the first suspect you came across in every case?

I see this every day in a lot of discussions on Facebook concerning just about every category whether it be political, legal, religious or anything else. To some folks , you just cannot argue past their dogma because their mind is locked and closed down and the discussion is over before it ever began. I feel a little sorry for these folks as the joy of discovery is forever locked away from them by their own methodology.

They are the victims of their own stupidness and are basically crippled by their own incompetence. It is and was their choice. They actively choose to be ignorant and will not consider a point of view that is structured around arguments not created by them. There are plenty of examples of this in our climate , however I do not talk politics on this blog. Too many people get butthurt for no reason.

In my mind when dealing with someone like this it is sort of like feeling sorry for the criminal. It is like having a soft spot for a racist, you know , as in you say "Ah, they don't mean it, they were just raised that way". It's hard to wrap your brain stem around because it is even tougher to excuse. We end up excluding that person from the discussion because we know he/she is just going to pop off with an ignorant N-bomb and then everybody is going to be pissed off and that's way too hard to deal with. While the topics can vary widely , it is virtually the same argument with closed minded political activists, feministas, terrorists, racists, misogynists  and anyone else who has an unpopular point of view that you cannot defend. Because you cannot defend them, you exclude them instead of confronting them. It's easier and less painful to go about your business like that.

The primary issue most minds face when this conundrum occurs is the central question prevalent to the discussion. Whose responsibility is it to teach the uneducated potatoes in the world? If you are one of those people for example who think that women are second class citizens and who are nothing more than organic reproducers then is it my responsibility to set you "straight" whenever you expand upon your misguided viewpoint in public? Should I "fix" you by rebutting your viewpoint, exclude you or let it ride? Most situations among equals will dictate that you are to "Fix" them. The problem becomes more apparent when that miscreant is your boss or is a person of authority like a police officer.  Bad boys, Bad boys, what cha gonna do?

Five signs of the coming apocalypse
Can you catch COVID-19 Twice? Click the Link

1. Up until I was about 40, I've had a buttload of cars. Mostly pieces of junk that if I would have kept them, I would be rich today. I had just about every now rare $100,000 car you see at auctions. I was going to drone on and list a bunch of them until I looked at the list. Nobody wants to see that pathetic crap.
   
2. Italians are a peculiar bunch. They have spent literally millions of dollars investigating, finding, charging and convicting the mafia leaders in their country. Now, over fears that the coronavirus may kill them in prison (they said this not me), they are releasing a bunch of them under a compassionate release program.
   
   
   Dozens of top Mafia being released Click the Link
3. Here is a question I have always wondered about and I have never seen answered anywhere. If you know why this is, please let me know. Why didn't R2D2 ever tell Luke Skywalker that Aniken Skywalker (Darth Vader) was his Father? How Luke found out was weird because R2 knew the whole time, and his memory was never wiped out like C3PO's was. I don't get this one. Been thinking about it for a while now.
   
4. Oops. Spoke too soon. The 9th Circuit court of appeals has reversed the judge who struck down the controversial ammunition law in California. I'll bet this one is decided at the SCOTUS level next term.
   
5. Just a question? Have any of you ever actually read the Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution or the Bill of rights. All together or separately? I have three of four copies in my left hand desk drawer right next to me, I've read it hundreds of times. I would venture to say that the way most people have never read it based on how they talk about it. Just my thoughts.
   
   I'll just sign off and say , Amendment X,
   
   BigMike
   

Number 11 report to the window

April 25, 2020 at around 6:30 in the hour before sunrise

Good Morning Hungover participants in last night's celebration,

In March of 1974, I started to work at a drive in restaurant called Steak `n Shake. The restaurant it was then is very different than the one it was before the pandemic, however the longer the pandemic goes on, the more it is starting to look like the concept it was back in those "good old days". I started working there part time and I thought at the time, temporarily , until such time I could get the job I really wanted which was to be a career machinist. That dream got crushed because of a little thing called a recession.

The Recession of the 1970's - Click Here

I began my career there as a curb boy. That's what we were called, we were curb boys or curb girls, and there was no need and no atmosphere that dictated a PC name. Generically, both sexes were called "Curb Operators". Besides, men didn't wear the SKORT and didn't wear the white blouse or checkered vest so it was easy to tell us apart. We never wore roller skates and the girls never wore mini-dresses , however we did begin each shift with a cumberbund around our waist, a pouch to carry our curb cards and $3 in the store's money to make change with. We were human adding machines and were expected to know the product prices, to be able to figure out the bill total and the taxes due before we took your order to the curb window and handed it in for processing. There were no drive thru windows back then. There was no self service anything and unless they had to go to the bathroom, they never had to get out of the car.

There were certain expectations that came with the job. You had to be able to run, you had to learn to run with a full curb delivery tray full of drinks and / or food from the window to the car and back, and you had to be able to hang the tray on the car window in one motion without spilling anything (unless somebody's angry girlfriend paid you to dump chili on their jerk boyfriend's lap). Every person got a glass of water when I first started, however that sorta disappeared from the policy after a short while. A car would usually back into a parking space, they would flip their lights on (that's how you knew they wanted to eat in their cars), Someone like me would run out to their car, pull a number card , place it under the windshield wiper , you would approach the driver window, take the order , turn and  stand at the drivers side front bumper and list the prices, add the ticket, tax the total and then run to the window and hand it in. At this point they would turn their lights off , and anything they needed to know was on the back of the curb card. You ran like Forrest Gump  to do everything except sweeping the parking lot and taking out the trash. You also ran to answer the microphone at the window because sometimes they had no clue what your order ticket said. Curb 80-80 all cars !!

In addition to being the exterior servers, we got all the crappy jobs too, like cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning up the vomit and spilled milkshakes and such. The inside of the store had about 12 -16 tables , with the majority of those being 4 seat tables and there were usually about 6-8 counter stools. The curb lot when I started had about 60 parking spots in the front lot and when It was super busy on Friday and Saturday night, the back lot opened up and there was about 40 more. I hated working the back lot because it was inevitably full of teenagers, drinking beer and never tipping worth a crap. It was also 100 yards away and was a shit ton of running. Back then I could run all night and then run around with the girls all night after work (wink , wink). It was fun to be 16 and young back then. Come to think of it I don't remember knowing any old curb operators. They got fat as they got older and got moved inside to the line eventually.

Now looking at what is going on and how the concepts are changing (for better or worse I really don't know) I am starting to the signs of contraction within not only this concept but in a lot of them. Playgrounds are going away, everything is being promoted as contactless, certain chains are labeling parking spaces as for call ahead parking pickup, Dining rooms in certain QSR restaurants are being closed and in some cases, removed, atriums are being remodeled and in some cases the whole building footprint is being reconfigured to eliminate the option of interior dining. Pizza hut has changed a lot of their stores to this model. The one in my town is pick up and delivery only and they moved locations to accomplish that. Of course they don't deliver to my house, but Ahh, the good old days. Slopping stuff into your lap because there is no table. Sorry Sonic we don't want to pay for a butt load of red buttons and graphics and ordering speakers. Don't you have our app?

The more things change the more they stay the same

1. 53 year old Mike Tyson is reportedly in training for some sort of comeback. One story says its for charity matches, promotional stuff and another says his trainer thinks if you gave him 6 solid weeks of a training camp he could basically kick anybody's ass. I am not in favor of this because the last thing we need is Mike Tyson slobber knocking Donte Wilder all over the place. The next thing you know, Anthony Joshua would be seeing stars looking straight up at the ceiling and he would be wondering what the hell happened.
   
   I don't care if he was 90 years old, there is no freaking way I would get in the ring with that man. Not only is he one of the best boxers of all time, he also walks a very thin line of being pissed off at a moments notice. NO way I want this guy pissed at me. I don't for a minute think he is serious about real competition, as he hasn't boxed since 2005 professionally, however even if it was just for show, just for charity, just for a good cause, would you want to take the chance he would forget for a second, do that little left hand to the body, side step , left hand uppercut thing he was so famous for? I think he would still knock the smell outta your gym shorts. There's no way. This guy wanted to box a gorilla one time, something ain't right.
   
2. Shia LeBeouf has got to be one of the most bat-shit actors on the planet. Some of the crap he pulls, the movies he has made and the public spectacles he has participated in are just beyond anything you could consider normal. I think he and Joaquin Phoenix might be somehow related. They both seem to have the same goofy as hell gene.
   
   Remember the "Professional Friend" concept from yesterday? Here would be the perfect applications for this concept. He's been cited and arrested a few times for stupid behavior for things such as causing a ruckus for no reason and refusing to leave (I think at a Walgreens)  , smoking in a public place on purpose (wanted to be cited?), he got into several accidents (one that crushed his hand), got into a fight in Sherman Oaks CA, he made a short film and was accused of plagiarizing parts of it, after he was called out for that he then posted a plagiarized copied apology from yahoo answers with no explanation, he walks out of interviews promoting his movies, he walked the Red Carpet with a Paper Bag on his head that said "I am not famous anymore" in magic marker on the exterior, he did a 6 day performance art thing where he cried and said "I am sorry" over and over  at visitors and an exhausting list of others. Tell me this idiot could not have benefitted from somebody holding his reigns and saying "No Dumbass we ain't doing that".
   
3. Just a blurb, One of my all time favorite shows? "How it's Made" , I don't know why but I could watch that show for hours, goofy as that sounds.
   
4. It strikes me that Odell Beckham Jr, as talented as he is on the football field, needs to grow the hell up and stop crying and bitching about every little thing. We should probably stop excusing his behavior too. I'm just saying. His twitter rant about the draft was just crazy. PF candidate.
   
5. A man was arrested yesterday in Acworth GA, at his storage unit, with 1400 ounces of the psychedelic drug DMT  (Dimethyltryptamine), that is about 88 pounds of this shit. Along with the drugs they discovered he had the manufacturing process and the ingredients to make buttloads more , along with Lye, Vinegar, Root Bark and all the tools and equipment one would need to be a DMT drug kingpin.
   
   He said it was all for his own personal use.
   
   
   See you after tripping balls for 35 years you guys,
   
   BigMike

Social distancing in the car

April 24th, 2020 at somewhere near 5:30 in Northwestern Georgia,  United States of America

Bada boom bada bing,

So my wife and I love to spend time together. We do it a lot. I would rather be sitting around doing nothing with her, than whatever you do to have fun with your family I believe. Maybe I'm over reaching there, but you know what I mean. When she is off we hang out together, sometimes just watching TV, sometimes just in the house, but for the very high percentage of the time we are just hanging out, eating, getting along and relaxing. Someone told me yesterday that I was freaking weird. Like why would you want to spend your free time with "her". Full disclosure, they don't know my wife. Even fuller disclosure, they've never been to my house. It wasn't hard to explain, but I did have a good time ragging him about the nagging marathon he has endured because of the quarantine.

It left me wondering about all the people who think like this and who are married or partnered with folks they don't want to be alone with or spend free time with. Makes me sad really. We are thinking about taking a one tank trip this weekend, just driving somewhere and then driving back listening to one of our audible books we have on her phone. That's our favorite travel hobby.

Anyway, on to the next great thing.

You know how everybody is always hating on celebrities for being a bunch of clueless dipshits? Same thing you hear with people that hate on athletes, rich business people, rich politicians etc. They don't buy anything for themselves and before you know it Brittany or Paris have shown the world their vajayjays or someone has video of them banging a groupie or doing drugs off the crack in a strippers butt. Next thing you know, they have Tiger Blood in their DNA and big bucks are being paid to exclusive PR firms to try to do damage control.

It hardly ever works, and they only stop doing the destructive behavior once they have taken the required beating to their potential to earn money. Some people like for example, Pamela Anderson, Lindsay Lohan or Maitland Ward can't be saved from their own stupidity and they would have made the sex tapes for someone else to make a shit ton of money no matter what happened. Others might have benefitted from some real advice, like for example if their advisers had told them repeatedly to not  show the whole world your private parts, including the ridges of your butthole (Kim Kardashian). They may have still made the tape , but they might have hired a professional film director and a lighting crew to make it have professional cinematography and correct camera techniques. And they might have done a better job at controlling the royalty payments.

You know what they were missing in every single case? Every single one of these incidents, from public drunkenness to sex tapes to drug use to bashing car windows with golf clubs (Mrs. Woods?) would have benefitted from having somebody stuck to their side for the first 4 or 5 years of their "celebrityhood" teaching them how to be a normal person making normal decisions. I would call it being a professional friend, someone picked for their ability to see the long term impacts of their dumbness, should it be allowed to fester. Some only need to test out of the class, like say Michael Jordan, although he should have taken the one called "No excessive gambling on your public Image dumbass, some would be required to take the whole 5 years before they could graduate, like say Charlie Sheen. These people would have control of the money decisions and it would be built into their contracts.

All it would take is for this to be an edict of the greedy ass Insurance industry. Those folks make decisions about all of us, on every other subject, so I really don't see how this would be any different. The problem would be vetting the professional friends. No ego and no greed would be a requirement and that is what maybe kills the idea right there. Cool thought though. I would apply for the job, and telling some rich ass idiot "NO you cannot go to Vegas , have sex with animals and 14 year olds and then go back to preaching to the world on Sunday, dumbass!" Or some version of that.

I know - Fantasy island. HA!!

Here are 5 things that you may find odd

1. The California law that required a completed background check in order to buy ammunition has been declared unconstitutional by a Federal Judge. Duh. The same judge here also struck down the state's law against high capacity magazines for the same reason. Read about it at the link below. I would just be saying the same things they have already published. You can also search for it on the internet if you would rather the source material come from somewhere else, but the stories are all essentially the same. Google is your friend.
   
   Federal Judge declares law unconstitutional - Click to read
2. Iran has summoned the Swiss ambassador for talks after Trump said on twitter "To Blow any ship out of the water that harrasses US warships (sic)." The Swiss represent American interests because we have no direct contact with the Iranians. They are the go to third party that talks to countries we don't formally recognize or have direct talks with. They have threatened to "...destroy any warship that threatens their defensive capabilities."  Riiigghhtt. This is called posturing boys and girls.
   
   Sounds good on paper. Except they have mostly smaller vessels and could not compete with a modern navy. I have no doubt that if they were to attack an Aircraft carrier, the attacking vessel would not last very long. The conflict would mostly be over before it started. I would not want to be standing on the deck of  an Iranian ship of any kind if one of them decided to fire a shot in anger at a US warship, as that would be ugly. And the sea would be very oily. And probably very fiery. And full of Iranian sailor body parts.
   
   Iranian Navy description - Click to Read
   
3. So, maybe despotic dumbass Kim Jong Un isn't ill after all who knows. Thay now say he might have taken a beach vacation because everyone around him was testing positive for the coronavirus. You never know what to believe from these people.
   
4. I am going to be as happy as anyone when this Covid-19 stuff is over. I don't know how they are going to open the movie theatres back up or if they will because of the costs involved, but there are a few movies my wife and I really want to see that are in upcoming release like Wonder Woman 1984 , Venom 2- Let there be carnage, No Time to Die among the host of others. I think there are a couple of MCU movies in there somewhere too, but I'm not so sure about those. We just miss the movies, among other things. I still don't miss that crap called Pico de Gallo sauce though.
   
5. I found a list of facts that sound like they are fake but they are actually real. I think this was on buzzfeed but I'm not sure. Google is your friend, Look it up , there was over one hundred of them.
   
   - There is not a single bridge across the Amazon River
   - The shortest distance between Russia and the US is 4 km
   - Pocahontas and Shakespeare lived at the same time
   - 1 Horse = 15 HorsePower (no kidding)
   - (1) 10 inch Pizza has more pizza than (2) 7 inch Pizzas do. Weird
   - In 3 or 4 generations you will be totally forgotten unless you did something special or killed a lot of people
   - Technically speaking, Antarctica is a desert (because of low rainfall totals)
   - and last Did you know that an Octopus has Blue Blood?
   
   
   Yesterday ? Fuhgeddaboutit!!,
   
   BigMike

All signs point to rain

April 23, 2020 at about 6 ish a.m.

Good Morning from the deck of the Titanic,

Since roughly December 1st, 2019 our area has had about 37 inches of rain, as unscientifically measured by me and my trusty front porch plastic rain gauge. It rains and fills up the plastic tube and the next day or so, I note the amount, add it to the total that is kept with the plastic marker on the side , update it and say "Hmmm, we sure have had a lot of rain this month." That's what you do in retirement. You watch grass grow, you watch birds fly, you update rain guages and stuff like that. You might also read stuff depending upon your interests, but I won't assume that as I have too many people I know who disdain reading for some odd reason.

Rainfall Totals for the Atlanta area-2020

Other stuff that some regular folks might do during retirement I probably don't do (not that I don't want to), include driving to various places, mowing the lawn or gardening, building stuff that is heavy and requires motor driven big tools to move around and the like. Most of that sort of activity is beyond my capabilities right now, so I amuse myself reading, surfing the internet, watching TV movies and shows I have recorded, writing this blog and teaching myself to be a world class complainer. First time in my life I have to pay someone else to take care of my outdoors. Brian does a good job, just the first time I have ever had to pay someone else do it. Seems weird.

My older brother is still more effective than me at complaining though, because he can write an email or a letter  that actually gets results (he gets sent free stuff all the time). I have to be satisfied at this point with complaining for no reward except for the satisfaction at knowing that I have irritated someone who read my complaint. Maybe. You know you got under their skin and finally prompted a reply when their reply Begins with "We have received your last 4 complaints...". That makes me smile.

I have noticed that with the growth of the amount of channels that are available (and this is not new I know), the quality of TV programming has not improved at all. You would think there would be some sort of law of the jungle at work here, where the survival of the fittest would come into play, however even PBS is now producing crappy pablum designed to satiate people whose desire does not seem to be entertained so much as to be occupied until it's time to go to bed. I won't name anything specific however there sure does seem to be a lot of copycat shows on all the networks that are all about the same themes and are all about able to survive about 4 seasons before they run out of steam. That must be the magic level you have to achieve to hit nirvana, where you become the subject of an all night binge watch on Netflix or one of the streamer networks. Seems like a lot of shows are being canceled in their first seasons too, but that may just be me finally being in front of the boob tube paying attention.

Top 5 Dumbass things - unranked

1. The lesson of COVID-19 or whatever the name is this week,  seems to be don't catch this crap and be old at the same time. The data would seem to suggest that if you are in a long term assisted care facility (a Nursing home), and you come down with this ailment then you have about a 50-50 chance of dying. So far it seems as if a high percentage of deaths attributed to this disease are old folks, who are trapped in these environments. Something to think about.
2. I started watching the documentary about Michael Jordan on ESPN called "The Last Dance" , overall it is very good so far. It serves to remind me that I didn't think very much of the owner of the Bulls or of the GM Jerry Krause at the time, and still do not have any positive things to say about either of them.
   
   Both are a couple of knuckleheads. Hows that rebuilding going Jerry?
3. The XFL folded. There's a surprise. Again. For the second time.
   
   Now the terminated and fired ex-commissioner of the league, Oliver Luck (Yep Andrew's daddy), is suing the Owner of the league Vince McMahon for wrongful termination. Actually he is suing him for the balance of his contract but since Vince took the XFL into bankruptcy he couldn't get at the money that way, I guess. What do I know?
   
   Do you think Mr. Luck has a chance at winning? Stay tuned. this story ain't over.
   (Insert witty WWE response or comment here).
4. For whatever reason Ellen DeGeneres is taking a beating in the reputation PR department. People are bitching about all kinds of certain behaviors and decisions they apparently don't like that she has made over the last few years. Stuff about comments she's made, staff complaints some things she is said to have done have all come to light.
   
   She makes $70 million dollars a year to do her show and is worth about $350 million so they say. I'm sure some of this was/is inevitable. Anyway....
5. Facebook users amuse me and sometimes they are just stunning in the ability to create drama where none actually exists. There is a viral photo making the rounds right now that purports to show a bottle of CoronaVirus vaccine that is labeled as such being held up by somebody with commentary that suggests it is a "secret vaccine" for the death monster that is sweeping the world, and it is being withheld from the world by nefarious sources.
   
   That would be amusing if it were not really happening. Dumbasses.
   
   
   Dog Vaccine is not COVID-19 Vaccine
   (This information below is taken directly from the link above.)
   The vaccine label in the photo clearly states “Canine Coronavirus Vaccine". Like other instances of misinformation that have appeared since the outbreak began, the posts advance a false claim that centers on the term “coronavirus.” The term refers to a family of viruses, but they’re not all the same.The novel coronavirus, or SARS-CoV-2 — which causes COVID-19 — was first reported in China in late 2019. The product in the viral photo is Nobivac 1-Cv, a vaccine sold by a subsidiary of Merck & Co. It protects dogs from the canine coronavirus, or CCV, a virus that typically causes a mild gastroenteritis, or inflammation in the intestines, in infected dogs. It was first identified in 1971.
   
   I just adore untrained, uneducated microbiologists who have internet access and the ability to use google to find out all the medical secrets that we all need to know. I just love how anything and everything with the term Corona on it has became the advance army of the posting fools, also called shit posters.
   
   These are the same people that go to the doctor and waste their time with their own diagnosis they got from their 20 minute Google Medical Degree.
   
   Gotta go now,
   Hand me that paddle will you?
   
   BigMike

The Destination to die for

Wed Nes Day April 22, 2020 at purt near thereabout 05:15 in the morning

My fellow Planetoid dwellers,

In the past few years so called personal assistance devices have cropped up everywhere. In the past few months we have even had a couple of them die a painless and unnoticed death. Of course I am talking about the Alexa type services like Alexa, Hey Google, Siri and others. It's easy to confuse the services with the devices however because they are now everywhere and so common. It's almost like how internet searching a few years ago become an action verb in and of itself because now we don't say "Internet Search for it", we say "Google It", without real regard to what search service we are actually using. So in this context If someone says "Alexa" device they could be talking about a Nest device that actually uses a command for Google to activate it.

It gets a little confusing to say the least. I'm just going to talk about the plethora of devices and content.

My experience with this subject is not very deep nor is it very wide.I'm not what you would call an early adopter of new technology, I've been burned too many times by Microsoft and Apple to not be wary of new things. I always said you would never catch me giving some device access to my house or my safety, and yet here we are, fully enveloped in the Alexa craze. One thing I learned pretty quickly, don't say her damn name. You will be talking to someone about the device, will say her name not thinking that is also the activation word and the damn thing will start talking to you, asking questions, playing music or something because it is trying to do what you asked and trying to make you happy. I tell her to STFU a lot. Probably too much.

So anyway, the deeper dive I take the more I realize its a cash generating machine for it's overlord Master Bezos. It will try to nickel and dime you to death with charges that are right out in front of you but can quickly add up and make them some nice monthly bank if you are not paying close attention. $4 for this, $2 for that, oh this is only .99 cents and pretty soon if you didn't pay attention you could be spending $10-15 a month to get all the joy you can out of the device. You can get Samuel L. Jackson's voice to curse at you for .99 cents I think, although I was never sure if that was per use, monthly or a one time charge.

It will do all kinds of stuff if you want it to. I'm not in favor of most of this, but it is capable of controlling any so called "Amazon Alexa enabled" device, whether that is your light fixtures, front door locks, thermostat for you heater / AC system or whatever else. I saw a commercial where a water faucet had integrated voice control and you could tell it to dispense so many milliliters of water and etc. Quite brilliant actually. Don't know if I want it , but it's something to ponder. I'm sure I have overlooked some of the more exciting ways to use these things however suffice it to say I'm aware it can control TV's , doorbells, cameras, water heaters, smart plugs and so much more.

Here is an interesting article to read about it, Just click the link.
The best alexa enabled devices

The Five fastest 35 mm slides from today

1. I really don't get the current political climate in my state at least, on either side. It's as if rational thought and logic doesn't exist in the political context anymore. We are in the middle of a pandemic, a deadly pandemic of epic proportions that kills indiscriminately without favor, it doesn't seem to care how young or old (although young doesn't seem to be as easily affected), how rich or poor you are if you let it go too long (access to healthcare is something else), what race or status you have or anything else. If its got you in its clutches, you stand a good chance of dying.
   
   In Georgia, the Governator has decided it is about over, although evidence proves otherwise and he is decreeing by political fiat that stuff is opening back up, by God. Georgians need a massage and a beer and a haircut, not necessarily in that order. Oh we are totes not screwed. Open up the Liquor stores, bars, social clubs, the Gyms, restaurants salons, nail places and then stand back. Mix in a bunch of wet sweaty butts mixing body juices in the gyms and wait three weeks. I predict around the week of May the 1st or so, maybe a few days later, BAM, here comes the death rate.Emergency rooms in every hospital in my state will be covered up and the second wave of death will hit us (wait for it),  like the plague. Yeah I know.
   
   Georgia is going for the record.
   We are trying to be the Destination that is to die for!!
   
   Hello Science? Its BigMike calling, yes, I'll hold. "Oh hello, What's that ? You don't care if we believe in you, you will kill us just the same? Well, that sure is good to know".
2. Remember the name Kim Yo Jong. If the ruler of North Korea is actually ill and if he dies, then probably around a million people will die in that country after the fact and a lot of folks will be talking about his powerful sister possibly taking his place. I don't think so because it is a patriarchal society ruled by greedy nasty men, but a lot of people will probably die before anyone there admits it.
   
   That's a war that has been about 70 years in the making. Good Luck staying out of this one. Geez what a mess. China, Japan and South Korea don't want disruption in that country because it will cause a lot of problems for them with the humanitarian aid needed and the refugees it will create however I think it is probably inevitable that it will explode into internal warfare within days of his passing. It is going to be a pay per view mess of epic proportions.
3. Why are we hearing from and listening to Bill Gates? Being rich does not make you an authority figure any more than being poor makes you an authority on how to be homeless. It's probably even less so. He ran a software company, poorly ran it at that. Yes, yes he made a shit ton of money, but he did it by bleeding other companies dry, putting thousands of software writers out of business, by buying up and closing down hundreds of companies. He released  version after version of his companies software products that one could say were not finished and then spent the next several years issuing service packs to correct all the problems.
   
   Maybe the scientists who work for his foundation are worthy of our attention and it's possible he should be putting them in front of the microphone, but for my money? I've already spent too much time figuring out how to use your crappy software, I don't really want to hear anymore from you.
4. GRONK !!
5. I'm hooked on the new TV show "Dave". Look it up. I'm sure unless you are a hip-hop fan you will hate it. Serious comedy though.
   
   *****Personal Note *****
   Stop calling Health care workers heroes. I don't want my wife to be seen as a martyr for the cause, just make the Hospital she works for treat her right and get her some damn protective gear.
   
   
   I am the walrus,
   
   BigMike

Dear Penthouse forum

On April 21,2020 at 4:30 a.m. in the before sun rise I woke up the rooster time zone

Dear Penthouse,

There is a thing that's been going on for quite sometime now. I'm probably overreacting to this, and yet, for some reason I don't think I am. The irritation over it has been building and making me more of a high value cursing curmudgeon every day and I am truly now a legendary complainer. As if I don't constantly bitch about some of this ignorant crap enough right now. Do you know (or remember or have been told), how at about the same time as immediate post 9-11 , your TV screen suddenly seemed to become targeted territory? You used to watch any program, or the news, or even a commercial and the entire TV screen would be full of the intended subject matter? Usually you would be watching a program , say the News, and the WHOLE SCREEN would be about this one topic. Those were glorious years. No promos for new shows or their hottest properties, No clever reminders about their animation programming, you get the idea.

At about this time clever programming kids figured out how to place "crawls", that is rolling morsels of textable garbage along the bottom of the screen or at the side with some design flair. It would run for the entirety of the show and was nothing like the old breaking news model of the prior 25 years where they usually just ran a crawl of white text in a black box superimposed on top of the existing picture in a line at the bottom?

You can thank modern professional football for this little stupid invention, because it is based on similar technology that is used to create the fake "yellow" first down marker and other lines that are placed on the active field during a live TV Broadcast football game. The original picture is displayed, a yellow line marker is created on another type of device and then the two of them are "melded" together to create one seamless picture which is presented to the viewer as live action. It helps to see the goal the teams are working towards and puts you in the "action" so to speak. Well they have dressed up that sort of technology and carved up the TV screen to an extent that the original portion that is being displayed is almost lost. Same technology is used to display the "telestrator" where an analyst would do the X's and O's on the screen while explaining how the catch you just observed , was indeed ,actually a catch, or not.

Currently If you are lucky, you may have a 40% square (S.W.A.G.)  in the top left corner that is the original content, and everything else is being carved up for data, statistics, commercials or in some cases like in the example of live Auto racing broadcasts (The Indy 500 comes to mind) the commercial and the content is broadcast side by side , live , and it never leaves the live action all while trying to sell you a toothbrush. Other models have crawls, other bullet points, other ads and other content being displayed all concurrently. Turns you into a type A multitasker and makes you flit between content like a fat moth to a hot smoky candle. Also makes you want to turn the device off and begin to talk incoherently to yourself. It's probably why my children think that I am off my rocker , as much as I in real life yell loudly at inanimate objects.

The Web marketing and Ad design industry has taken this lead and ran with it. Sometimes now when you click into a website, even ones where you would think they have their shit together by now at least, there is good 30 seconds of secondary content loading , the typical cookie disclaimer,several  pop up forms asking you to join their site, their mailing list or to register to their site in order to continue or some other such nonsense. Finding how to disable or close this crap can be annoying to say the least and sometimes depending upon my mood is enough to make me scream at the screen.

By the time you have waded through all the crap, you forgot why you were there. On top of all that , they now also resize the main video content displays as you scroll down and BAP, here come the video autoplay where the sound starts in the background like a radio ad and then it begins "WHERE IN THE HELL IS IT COMING FROM?",  he said while frothing at the mouth !!

Please also, I won't get started talking about stories you may have wanted to read that never actually materialized but and instead became a click the friggin NEXT button marathon instead. Start slideshow it says, what it should have said was begin torture session, the pieces of absolute crap.
But I digress .

So, anyway , um I'm good, how was your day?

1. I am of the opinion that Piers Morgan of TV Interview fame (I am not sure why though), is an absolute idiot. A blathering , blithering, mouth breathing twat that serves no good purpose on this earth and for the life of me I am not at all certain what his appeal is? Can anyone explain to me why this idiot keeps showing up on American TV? Who in the hell keeps giving this waste of organic material another TV show to appear in. I could't like this guy if I stood on my head and cut off my oxygen supply, inducing hypoxia, where I could legitimately make a bad decision without repercussions. Jesus what a moron this guy is.
   
2. Yesterday for a very short time, oil prices dropped in to the negative value. This means for May future contracts suppliers and brokers, were willing to pay storage facilities and others (like refiners) to take oil off their hands and they would pay them to do so. It was / is cheaper to do that than to build more storage of their own is what they say. Here's one thing you won't see, no provider is going to pay you to pump gas into your vehicle. The negative pricing didn't last long but it happened.
   
3. That North Korean asshat, his holy fatboy Kim Jong Un, of the UN family,  kill everybody in his country dynasty is allegedly seriously ill following surgery,  he allegedly has had on his heart. News from here is almost always wrong so he could have a cold and he is screwing with us, or he could be recovering from Covid-19 , or the heart stuff could be true. No way to really tell. It would be ok with me if he would explode from within however what do I know I am just the messenger.
   
   He is around 37 or so, and apparently and allegedly was/is a heavy smoker, is way way fatter than me, and never exercises at all so the heart story seems plausible, but who knows? We shall see I suppose. I wonder who they have lined up to take his place should he kick off? The very very latest rumors say he is brain dead. Ha fuckin Ha! Makes me giggle, you go Karma.
   
   If so? Wow,  Couldn't happen to a nicer dynasty. What a nice group of folks they are.
   
4. You ever watch or play along with the program TV program Jeopardy? I used to watch it and play along every day as this was just about the time I was getting home from work and was just about the time we would all be setting down to have dinner as a family. Now just occasionally, but still like it. Me and the fam would sit and play (well I would play, the kids would get pissed off because they were always wrong or couldn't get a word in edgewise) . Great TV in my opinion however I usually get Greek mythology, British writers and feel good topics all wrong. How do you do?
   
5. The US supreme Court (SCOTUS) has ruled (?sic yesterday) that criminal jury trials require a unanimous verdict affirmed by all members of the jury in order to convict someone in a criminal trial. Only two states used a majority of the verdict (Louisiana and Oregon) and I think both of them had recently changed their laws requiring it.
   
   This overturns decades old precedents, set by another Supreme court from another time, and overturns a 1972 decision made in the case of Apodaca V. Oregon, that allowed non unanimous verdicts. The core doctrine of "Stere Decisis" basically only allows a decision to be overturned (I'm way Oversimplifying it here) if it was an egregious decision that brought harm to the law. Justice Samuel Alito wrote that “Lowering the bar for overruling our precedents, a badly fractured majority casts aside an important and long-established decision with little regard for the enormous reliance the decision has engendered” https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/20/supreme-court-says-criminal-convictions-require-unanimous-juries.html
   
   While I agree with this one decision, I'm no lawyer, I'm just a non attorney uncompensated spokesman for the BigMikeRant. It seems like a good idea however, hmmm,  I wonder if it just became easier to overturn laws and past decisions they don't like (Hello Roe V. Wade anyone?)
   
   Anyway also in other news on totally other topics,  my wife said no, so I can't go..
   That figures. Killjoy.
   Know what I mean jelly bean?
   
   BigMike

Pet theories not Pet Semetary's

Oooohh  its 04/20/2020 and coinkehdinkly its 4:20 a.m. who woulda thunk it

Fellow Occupiers of this moment in space time,

First Happy Anniversary to my lovely Daughter and Son In Law, Bradley and Kelley Ann. Happy Happy Joy joy.

Second, never and I mean never release tachyon particles into the Warp drive stream,  I don't care what Commander Data says. His dumbass reason was to break out of  time loop however everybody knows matter and anti-matter cannot occupy the same space at the same time. We'll just blow up and be gone forever. Forever is a long damn time.

I have a few of these ridiculous pet theories. Most of them are not comically stupid ones built on the backs of cancelled TV shows, but much like Gibbs, I also believe in not leaving the house without a knife. I used to carry two knives wherever I went, so Mike would always have a knife if he needed one too, but stopped doing that a while back. Now I just strap on a handgun, with a spare clip and think about placement and routine. Trigger discipline replaced practicing flipping the knife open quickly. I never have my finger on the trigger accidently. Well up until now I haven't, as anything can happen at any time.

Mostly I like to think of my theories as non-empirical ways to strategize doing the right thing. Can you say non-empirical? I knew that you could.

Here's a couple of them, only the very short versions.
I'm sure I will expound on them at some point, don't want to ruin the anticipation for those of you who tremble at the thought.

Think of them sorta like Gibbs rules.

• You are responsible for you.
• Do the right thing even when no one is looking.
• Be the person that tells on yourself when things go wrong.
• Just be nice, it ain't that damn hard.
• Respect your mother, you only get one.
• With Children you aint raising kids, you are raising adults. Act and Explain accordingly

So anyway, that's nowhere near all of them, but you get the idea. Right up there in the top five maybe too is one called "Tell the Truth" or maybe it is really do not lie. It's better to stay silent than to tell the elaborate lie. It's too damn tough to keep up with all the edges surrounding a lie. You have to keep up with who you lied to , what you lied to them about, if anybody else has heard a different version, explaining any differences to people that know different stories, etc. It is exhausting. 

It really does take all kinds

1. What kind of thinker are you? Do you know? Can you think critically? If you are a dumbass do you know it? I have this theory that people fit neatly into only two different categories when it comes to analysis and the way they think.  That is assuming that they have the capacity to analyze and think, because without that they are just stupid and that is not their fault. That is genetics. I don't claim to be uber thoughtful or biggee smart however I have gave this a tiny bit of thought. People generally are either a linear thinker or they are a Global thinker, and usually they are truly one or the other. Types of personality are a whole different thing. Both of my neat types have been very very successful people by any measure.
   
   A Linear thinker has a tendency to start at the beginning and work their way through a problem, retracing covered ground because all problems start at the beginning. A, B, C, D and so forth and so on. They can and do arrive at the answer however you would describe this as a plodding style. They are thorough leaving no stone unturned, however they cannot go to look at point G, until points A to F have been examined. It goes against their very nature. A Linear cook has a one burner stove, cooks one dish at a time and serves the meal when they are all done.
   
   A Global thinker on the other hand can pick up a project at any place in the timeline and isn't bothered if that is point G or point A. They will start wherever and whenever is necessary to get started. These people while not necessarily more effective are often seen as so because there is activity surrounding them, whether it leads to a result or not. That is pretty much immaterial to their style. You would describe these types as a go-getter, as a hard charger and you frequently see this style in charge in the military. They are also usually responsible for a lot of their own troops being injured or killed. General Custer was a hard charger. A Global cook has a ten burner stove with ten dishes going all at once and while all the dishes may be done at once, the details usually suffer a little.
2. I watched the Movie Secondhand Lions the other day for about the 10th time. I'm pretty sure it has now crept up into my personal top ten movies of all time. The ending is a little drawn out and weak but watching Robert DuVall throw shit out of his hospital room and chasing the nurses and doctors out of his room, well, it's priceless. He tells his Brother that "Hospitals are useless" and his brother played by Michael Caine says "How would you know? You've never stayed in one long enough to find out?." It's a great young man coming of age story, Kyra Sedgewick is fabulous and I highly recommend it.
3. Watching COVID protestors the other day, it struck me as the protest being stupid, but also there they are protesting the restrictions, fully masked and gowned and gloved, marching along. Guess who was marching right there with them? Their normally dressed, no masks, no gowns, no gloves children. Uh huh.
4. 16 killed in Canada the other day , in Nova Scotia, deadliest shooting in Canadian history. I feel sorry for the innocent whatever this guys gripe was , it probably had very little to do with them. What motivates somebody to go kill a bunch of innocent people and then die and in a  hail of police gunfire? NUTS if you ask me.
5. Oil drops to the lowest price per bbl in the last 21 years @< $ 21 per barrel. More than a 20 % loss in price in the past week alone. Good for consumers, if you have a car, if you have a job, if you can leave the house, if you have any money . They say pretty soon the producers are going to be paying the refiners to take it off their hands because there will be nowhere for the producers to store it, and it will be cheaper to pay someone to take it (as opposed to buying it?) than it will be to sell it.
   
   Heady times we are living Bro's and Bro-ettes,
   
   Later Taters,
   
   BigMike

Bigfoot's name was Darryl ?

April 19th,2020 I'm not Chevy Chase and he is, it's 4:45 a.m.

Another stupid day and another stupid thing,

How did they know what Helen Keller was saying when she first became able to express herself? Seems like to me the first thing she ever said was probably something like  "NNnknnpff"? I wonder if petrified dinosaur poop has a smell? If it doesn't then why doesn't the smell get petrified too? Why is it that every stupid thing that was ever done by every stupid person always seems to begin with "Watch this" or "Hold my beer" but nobody ever reports that Jonas Salk said a damn thing when he invented the cure for polio. Why do Grandpas want grandkids to pull their fingers, seems like it would be better to say "Hey kid Come here, I got something for you", they would fall for that everytime. Did any kid ever get their Mother's attention by saying "Mama, mama, Mom, Mommie, mom, mom ", a million times?

Is there a training class where Moms learn how to swat your ass with a flip flop? And how did she learn to curve it around a corner anyhow?

I wonder some of the dumbest crap. These are actual, yet occasionally fleeting things that have ran through my head at various times. A few of the millions of things that my brain makes me think about every day. It is sort of  amazing really. I don't know how I ever really get anything accomplished. It's like having one of the old 35mm slide projectors running full speed playing slide after slide on the screen, but don't worry if you didn't catch that one, It will be back soon. Crazy huh?

These things coexist right beside normal rational thought, like when I'm cutting the grass, or filling the car's gas tank. I will be reading a story and processing it and thinking about this stupid crap at the same time, when it dawns on me what the answer to a vexing problem was. Like I wasn't consciously thinking about it. The answer to Life and everything else is 42.

That is also how I taught myself how to code. Just sit down and do it and think about whatever I wanted until I figured it out. Sometimes I would work on a coding issue exclusive of everything else, and not realize I spent 12 hours analyzing the problem coming up with a fix after researching how to do it, what the language structure looked like, how to apply it, where to assign it, how to construct global versus a one time variable, using complex arrays, all things I had no idea about until I sat down and thought about it with a book or two and another computer to research with. Next thing you know, push the button, shit works, abracadabra.

Wish I knew how this works, then I could replicate it, I could teach it to others and retire wealthy.

I learned how to compute complex mathematical problems the same way. I couldn't understand how other kids didn't just see the answer like I did. Sitting in a class and some kid would say how did you do that ?, ... and I would just say "I dunno". I could read the newspaper with my mother before kindergarten started , other kids (including my brother) that could not do that were retarded, at least I thought. Apparently that's what I told one of my teachers about my little Brother George who had not started school yet. She expressed sympathy to my mother to have a little retarded child at home (who was only about 2) after having such a bright a child as Michael. My mother was mortified. As it turns out when we got home, she was pretty pissed off too. Oops. Hell I didn't know every kid couldn't read.

I struggled with Algebra for a little while and then, all of a sudden, I didn't. I taught myself how to estimate the answer to something, to get pretty damn close to the answer when I didn't exactly need to know the exact correct answer, in about two weeks by mentally breaking a problem down to its simplest terms and then upsizing my answer to fit the numbers. Check it with a calculator later and I would say the answer was 31.2 and the calculator would say 31.31 . If you are trying to figure out an average for how many miles per gallon you just got, well that's close enough. I don't know how to explain it though.

At some point I realized that if you could borrow from the left when doing subtraction, then you could also borrow to the left when doing addition. Added to that was the light bulb coming on realization that if you read stories from left to right, it makes perfect sense to read math problems the same way. You can take a long column of numbers 3 or 4 places each and read them from right to left adding down the column as you go , borrowing to the left instead of subtracting as you reach ten or better, and you can add a column of numbers in your head faster than anyone can use a calculator. What I never understood is why. Seemed simple to me.

I had a teacher who swore I had to be cheating because I would get done with tests and quizzes before everyone else and would score an  A on them. I remember her trying to explain to my mother that it wasn't possible for a second grader to do work so quickly and so accurately and when Mom would calmly ask why that was , she was flustered and would respond with "It just isn't". Mom had been through this with teachers before and would write a long addition problem on her blackboard and say to me "Michael add these up". I would look at it, give the answer and the teachers would just stand there , struggling to comprehend, mouths wide open. We would just go home, while they stood there.

My older Brother is worse than me, he can do calculus and mechanical crap the same way. It's fun to ask him stuff and listen to his TED talk in response.

I usually tell everyone I hate Advertising. I think it's mostly deceptive and crap is neither new or better. I hate the repetitive nature of it, the stupidness of a repeating telephone number, the sing song nature of filling my brain with 1-800-327- EMPIRE !!!!, today, the bullshit of wait,wait that's not all, If you act right now, just pay separate handling crap.

Sometimes however they come up with some pretty deep thoughtful stuff that is just rattle your bones funny or thoughtful and provoking. Not Not Lemu the Emu and Doug , they can die, I hate their shit with a passion reserved for bad food. There is one ad running right now from Progressive Insurance where Flo is talking to a Sasquatch in a clearing, he is lamenting that people just don't want a picture of him anymore etc, she is babbling on about Insurance, and then she calls him "BigFoot" as part of her dialogue. As in "That's just the way shit happens, BigFoot".

He looks at his foot as if he never heard the term, then looks at Flo and just realized how big his feet are and says without batting an eye says , "My Name is Darryl." I liked to died. That's funny shit right there.

Her name is Stephanie Courtney, look her up. She's made a career and a fortune playing that one character named Flo. How do you get to be worth over 6 million dollars yammering on about a name your price tool? Amazing.

Toodles,

BigMike

There I was fishing like Steven hawking

04/18/2020 at near 05:15 in the before sunrise portion of the day. Two cups of coffee later.

 (Edit- 04/18/2020- In yesterday's post about Coronavirus testing ,  One of my friends EP pointed out to me I made an error calculating the math statement. He said " Only 1 in 5 tests given are testing positive. Mathematically that means that we have tested well over 3 million people. No other nation on earth has been able to test this many". I was wong, and apologize.) 

My daughter (the oldest turd)  has been bugging me to tell her the story about how I was Steven Hawking and The Fly all at once while fishing one fine summer day, and full disclosure she is being egged on by my so called ass of a friend PJ who threw me under the over loaded bus and then giggled her ass off when I told them both to SHADDUP. My daughter has been hounding me to tell her this story ever since. Here goes.

Anyway, as you may know I am sorta, kinda, a tiny little bit handicapped disabled now  by my inability to move anymore like a regular human being. I use a cane and a wheelchair to get around now, due to the muscular disease I have called "Charcot Marie Tooth Disease" , link - https://www.mda.org/disease/charcot-marie-tooth ,  it is a withering nerve and muscular disease that among other issues causes your legs to lose most of its muscle mass from the hips down, causes you to not really have foot control anymore especially with your ability to hold your feet up and level so you have a tendency to drag your feet. I drag my right foot more pronounced than my right, and I wear spring loaded Ankle Foot Orthotic braces built into my shoes to help this. It does a lot more, but you get the idea. I also have worthless knees , ankles and a back that almost can't hold me up anymore and no ability to grip anything or hold on to shit.

 I can stand for about 5 minutes and walk for about 25 feet and then I'm done and am looking for a seat.

Anyway, PJ invited me and took me fishing one fine summer day. We went to a river setting about 50 miles from our house and she did all the work setting us up, lugging our crap down to the river about 100 yards away and I meandered my big butt down the path (took me about 30 minutes). We sat up and started to fish, PJ was wandering back and forth because she can walk, and I was planted next to a tree , on my butt in a big foldable camping chair. Time went on. we were not really catching anything because the river was pretty low, it was pretty hot and well , the fish just were not really biting. I had casted about 20 times or so, caught the tree and the bushes a few times and was about ready to give up for the day. I was hot , so I reeled in my lines , put my tackle away, and went to reach for my water (or maybe Powerade I don't remember).

I bent over towards the tree a little tiny bit while still seated in this chair (because I can't get out of the damn thing by myself anyway) , and the chair started to collapse, very slowly it started to just fold in on itself and I thought to myself, I said "Self, this is gonna be a problem", and I knew it was me because I heard me say it.

So anyway, as the chair starts to fold in, I start to try to stand or at least stop the stupid thing from collapsing, and it just sorta went sideways , in slow motion, and settled in with me trapped in the chair, my fat ass crammed in next to the big ass tree, unable to move, unable to get up, unable to extricate myself , and PJ is 15 feet away just fishing away , cast, cast, cast, cast, cast. she has not a care in the world. I'm just laying there, not hurt, I just can't move. I'm looking at her expecting her to turn around, but fishing is life so to hell with my entangled, crumbled butt.

Turns out I couldn't really breathe either because when I went to say "Hey PJ can you give me a hand", my lungs were a bit compressed and all I could muster was a tiny voice that sounded in my brain just like Professor Hawking and I said "Help me". She said it sound like Jeff Goldblum in the Fly when he said the same thing so that is how the story became known as the "Stephen Hawking sounds like the Fly" story.

So anyhow, I had to say it a couple of times because she couldn't hear me, and when she did hear me I think she absolutely wet herself laughing at my fat ass, laying on the ground, tangled in a camping chair, crumpled against a tree , going "Help me, Help me". She did help me up eventually , and I thought she was going to take a picture of me laying there before she did, but she enjoys telling this story, truth be told, later I found it humorous as well.

So I'm limping back in to watch TV, there's your damn story, for all eternity.
I'll bet the grandkids laugh their silly heads off at this one.

After while crocodiles,

BigMike