Man Christmas in my house was a blast this year!
I am probably the only guy on the planet who was able to give his wife geeky electronics and a household appliance and she loved both of them, even though she didn’t understand the electronics until today and the appliance was a vacuum.
It was definitely one of our better moments.
Let me explain for all of you who think I have lost my mind.
First, I also got her some diamonds.
Little diamonds, but diamonds nonetheless.
Second, I burned and turned all of her Cd’s onto her computer in mp3 format (and got her an mp3 player as well).
Then I got her a streaming media player. If you don’t know what a streaming media player is, the short version is it is a router like device that allows you to play photos, music, videos etc from your home computer wirelessly back through the player and outputs the file through our home theatre system. Poof, you can now look at all of your pictures and play all of your CD’s through the TV and surround sound. I got it working tonight and she likes it a lot. When she first opened it she kind of looked at it and with a kind of sideway look said “ Thank you honey, I love it, what is this ? What does it do”. Now she gets it and it turns out she loves it. Additional I provided her with a quality pair of headphones so she can listen to her music while she studies.
Now the vacuum.
It’s a robot.
An irobot.com “Roomba” to be exact.
Roomba link
Charge it up, let it go, feet up, eat bon bons.
That’s how you ought to do the cleaning. The appliance literally does most of the work.
Man, I am so good.
I am so slick.
Welcome to the BIGMIKERANT , Comments are welcome (Keep it clean and I will publish it.) I fully support the 1st and 2nd amendments. Nasty comments and SPAM are deleted.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Thrillseeker or IDIOT ?
They say people who climb real high mountains , especially those who do it without bottled air are thrill seekers. Same goes for base jumpers, spelunkers, Para gliders, parachutists, free divers and etc. You hear the news people all the time talking about this kind of stuff being noble, heroic and assorted other adjectives and then they throw in a little "hero" action to be able to pump up the volume and make something out of it.
I am missing something here, I think.
I mean you want to risk your life climbing some impossibly high big –ass mountain and go into a zone where there is no oxygen and not take bottled air with you to breathe, fine with me. What you do is your own business I suppose. You want to explore some cave 500 feet down and twist into some impossibly small space just to say you’ve been there, OK, go for it. Same with you loony’s who want to jump off of Buildings Antennas Structures or Earth (B.A.S.E jumping) Go for it.
The thing I don’t get is why I or anyone else on the planet has to read about your exploits, rescue you when you don’t make it, hear your story on the 6 o’clock news, hear a debate about whether it is nobler to get to the summit and let you die or bring you down or any of the other invective we are subjected to because of the exploits you enjoy so much.
Personally, I don’t think any of you maniacs are someone to look up to. You are all suicidal. If you are not a soldier being ordered to do so, there is no good reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane just to float to the ground. People who jump off of high power antennas are just stupid, not courageous. Guys who brag about climbing past other dying climbers because the other guy “Knew the risks” are just arrogant s.o.b’s who don’t deserve to breathe the same air as decent people. You can’t rescue a fellow human because that would get in your way of reaching the top ?
You are not a winner, you are not a thrill seeker, you are a loser.
I wouldn’t want to know you.
My word for you is not thrill seeker. It is idiot.
You obviously don’t understand the physics of the situation you are in and you obviously don’t understand your own physiology, no matter how much you know claim about edema and the symptoms of high altitude sickness.
Mountain climber into the no air zone? IDIOT.
Cave explorer dies in tight space 500 under the earth? IDIOT.
Base Jumper chute opens late, slams into ground? IDIOT.
You dive 350 feet down into the ocean without air, no tanks and just holding your breath?
You guessed it.
IDIOT.
You want to impress me, rescue somebody from a burning building, otherwise I don’t want to hear about it.
Why you say?
Who has the time to deal with IDIOTS?
I am missing something here, I think.
I mean you want to risk your life climbing some impossibly high big –ass mountain and go into a zone where there is no oxygen and not take bottled air with you to breathe, fine with me. What you do is your own business I suppose. You want to explore some cave 500 feet down and twist into some impossibly small space just to say you’ve been there, OK, go for it. Same with you loony’s who want to jump off of Buildings Antennas Structures or Earth (B.A.S.E jumping) Go for it.
The thing I don’t get is why I or anyone else on the planet has to read about your exploits, rescue you when you don’t make it, hear your story on the 6 o’clock news, hear a debate about whether it is nobler to get to the summit and let you die or bring you down or any of the other invective we are subjected to because of the exploits you enjoy so much.
Personally, I don’t think any of you maniacs are someone to look up to. You are all suicidal. If you are not a soldier being ordered to do so, there is no good reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane just to float to the ground. People who jump off of high power antennas are just stupid, not courageous. Guys who brag about climbing past other dying climbers because the other guy “Knew the risks” are just arrogant s.o.b’s who don’t deserve to breathe the same air as decent people. You can’t rescue a fellow human because that would get in your way of reaching the top ?
You are not a winner, you are not a thrill seeker, you are a loser.
I wouldn’t want to know you.
My word for you is not thrill seeker. It is idiot.
You obviously don’t understand the physics of the situation you are in and you obviously don’t understand your own physiology, no matter how much you know claim about edema and the symptoms of high altitude sickness.
Mountain climber into the no air zone? IDIOT.
Cave explorer dies in tight space 500 under the earth? IDIOT.
Base Jumper chute opens late, slams into ground? IDIOT.
You dive 350 feet down into the ocean without air, no tanks and just holding your breath?
You guessed it.
IDIOT.
You want to impress me, rescue somebody from a burning building, otherwise I don’t want to hear about it.
Why you say?
Who has the time to deal with IDIOTS?
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Too bad you can't trust a cop
Too bad you can't trust a cop..... to do the right thing anymore.
I am an old fart now I guess.
I always said I didn't want to be one of those old guys who said "Back in my day..." all the time, however I am just about to become one of those guys I think.
Times are not changing so much for the better I fear. I see things around us in this day and age that I just don’t agree with. Before I go any further let me acknowledge that there have always been problems in various times in our culture and everything wasn’t always rosy like ADAM-12 and T.J. Hooker.
That being said the cops of today are just plain crazy. I see them using the maximum force possible when the minimum would have worked just as well. They shoot first now and ask questions later. Just in the past 30 days Atlanta has had a shooting of a 90 year old woman, granted she fired the first shots and injured cops, then come to find out the warrant was suspect in the first place. Apparently they lied or enhanced the circumstances in order to get a judge to sign their warrant. New York cops shot an unarmed man 50 times. One guy fired 32 rounds. He had to re-load. The guy was unarmed. It’s a damn shame.
You call them for help now and they show up like John Wayne. A couple of 22 year old square jawed iron pumper’s get out of the car all macho looking for someone’s ass to kick. You don’t just get a ticket anymore. You get as many as they can write and if you are lucky as one of my relatives were they go back to the police barracks and write a few more later on. Hands on the car turned into hands on the ground twisted behind your back until you experience pain and then they slam your head into the car and break your eardrums and your jaw. “You must have been resisting sir”. Common sense has vanished.
I had occasion to be in a county courtroom recently. It was a joke. 14 Mexicans, 3 blacks, 2 white guys. The 2 white guys had 2 charges a piece. The blacks had 3 charges a piece. The Mexicans got the dog pile. I think each one of them had 8 or 10 charges. All of these guys were charged with about the same thing. I asked a deputy later and he said essentially “ One way to keep ‘em off the streets and out of our communities”. Sad. Racist. Bigoted. True.
I asked an older sheriff about the trend I was seeing and he told me he sees it too. The young ones think it is their job to write as many tickets or citations as they possibly can. They brag about it he told me. They treat it like it is a game. He said they (young cops) know that poor people get the majority of the police calls, that they do not have any money, that the cannot afford lawyers and that the indigent public defenders won’t see them until the day of their trial if they see them then, they are assured of a conviction and it looks good on their record.
By the way, Georgia just cut the money again on what they pay public defenders.
Then the big bellied sheriff grabbed the gun and said “Son why’d you do it”.
That’s the night that the lights went out in Georgia……..
I am an old fart now I guess.
I always said I didn't want to be one of those old guys who said "Back in my day..." all the time, however I am just about to become one of those guys I think.
Times are not changing so much for the better I fear. I see things around us in this day and age that I just don’t agree with. Before I go any further let me acknowledge that there have always been problems in various times in our culture and everything wasn’t always rosy like ADAM-12 and T.J. Hooker.
That being said the cops of today are just plain crazy. I see them using the maximum force possible when the minimum would have worked just as well. They shoot first now and ask questions later. Just in the past 30 days Atlanta has had a shooting of a 90 year old woman, granted she fired the first shots and injured cops, then come to find out the warrant was suspect in the first place. Apparently they lied or enhanced the circumstances in order to get a judge to sign their warrant. New York cops shot an unarmed man 50 times. One guy fired 32 rounds. He had to re-load. The guy was unarmed. It’s a damn shame.
You call them for help now and they show up like John Wayne. A couple of 22 year old square jawed iron pumper’s get out of the car all macho looking for someone’s ass to kick. You don’t just get a ticket anymore. You get as many as they can write and if you are lucky as one of my relatives were they go back to the police barracks and write a few more later on. Hands on the car turned into hands on the ground twisted behind your back until you experience pain and then they slam your head into the car and break your eardrums and your jaw. “You must have been resisting sir”. Common sense has vanished.
I had occasion to be in a county courtroom recently. It was a joke. 14 Mexicans, 3 blacks, 2 white guys. The 2 white guys had 2 charges a piece. The blacks had 3 charges a piece. The Mexicans got the dog pile. I think each one of them had 8 or 10 charges. All of these guys were charged with about the same thing. I asked a deputy later and he said essentially “ One way to keep ‘em off the streets and out of our communities”. Sad. Racist. Bigoted. True.
I asked an older sheriff about the trend I was seeing and he told me he sees it too. The young ones think it is their job to write as many tickets or citations as they possibly can. They brag about it he told me. They treat it like it is a game. He said they (young cops) know that poor people get the majority of the police calls, that they do not have any money, that the cannot afford lawyers and that the indigent public defenders won’t see them until the day of their trial if they see them then, they are assured of a conviction and it looks good on their record.
By the way, Georgia just cut the money again on what they pay public defenders.
Then the big bellied sheriff grabbed the gun and said “Son why’d you do it”.
That’s the night that the lights went out in Georgia……..
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Soldiers coming home from war are treated like crap !
Oh man am I pissed!
Literally, I am outraged and flabbergasted and mad as hell. The movie "Network" comes to mind. At whom you may ask? Well……Lets just say the stupidity has a name but not a face this time.
Check out this link - Soldiers treated like crap , that I heard and read about on NPR, December 4th, 2006.
This is what Cindy Sheehan should be protesting.
This should not be allowed. This is criminal conduct in my mind.
This should be given the same news treatment by the liberal press that those pictures from Abu Gharib generated.
This should not be protected by top army brass. The President should appear on national television talking about this and he should be pissed off too.
Everybody involved in this mess should be booted from the military and then jailed doing hard time breaking rocks for about 20 years.
Army Officials at Fort Carson in Colorado are kicking soldiers out of the army for BS teeny tiny rule infractions instead of treating them for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The pinheads in charge do not think it is important to follow their own rules and do not care about what they are doing to their fellow soldiers. It is way more important to worry about the training schedule and their own records than it is to have basic common concern for their fellow soldier and his mental health.
It is absolutely incredible and I am just stunned we would treat our own soldiers like this and they would think it is OK. One sergeant interviewed gave advice that was essentially to “suck it up and be a man, I went through the same thing they did and it didn't bother me”. He says they are faking. He knows more about it than the doctors. He is brilliant. He is also a criminal in my book.
This is the beginning of the article-
Soldiers Face Obstacles to Mental Health Services
by Daniel Zwerdling Morning Edition, December 4, 2006 · The military promises to help soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan with emotional problems, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But an NPR investigation at one base in Colorado finds that soldiers aren't getting the services they need. (see Soldiers treated like crap )
And this is only the beginning and trust me , is not one-tenth of the eventual story.
They are denied the time to get to appointments. They are denied consults with doctors. They are denied timely care and made to wait weeks to see anyone because the facilities cannot handle all the men and women who need help. They are treated as outcasts. If they go to the doctor without some pinheads permission , even if this pinhead knows they have been diagnosed with PTSD or any one of a dozen other issues, they are declared AWOL (absent with out leave) and the military police comes to arrest them at their homes or at the doctors office. They may not see private doctors. They are ostracized. NO one talks to them, no one looks at them, they beat their wives and children, they turn to drugs and drink to make the pain go away, and NO ONE CARES! Basically their attitude is "too bad, so sad, get back in line you loser!!”
So in order to get rid of them, even if they were diagnosed with any kind of disorder, including PTSD, they are literally kicked out of the military on trumped up miniscule charges, given a dishonorable discharge and thrown out into the streets. Then because some pinhead Colonel or some self important moron ignorant General signed the papers kicking them out on an administrative discharge, they are also denied after military care, because they were “losers who couldn’t hack it”.
No treatment, no counseling, no medicine, no promotions, no care, and then a black stain on their record which denies them basic after military care at any military facility worldwide. All of this because the clinics are under funded, understaffed, and not a priority on this base and probably many others.
AAARRGGGGHHHH ! I can't believe this!!! What a load of crap. Somebody blows their own brains out right next to you and gets their brains on your face from the gunshot and you are supposed to not only not be affected, you should just say “Sucks to be you” and go to lunch.
Whistle while you work.........., BLAM, brains in your cornflakes, no problem. Happy go lucky me!
I want to see everybody in charge of this, sent to jail for criminal mistreatment of American Soldiers and American citizens. They prosecuted American soldiers for alleged mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners, these jerk offs should have the book thrown at them too for mistreating American soldiers. They should not be leading American combat soldiers into the bathroom, let alone into a war.
My wife is a nurse. If she did this, she'd be prosecuted and fined and jailed and would never be able to nurse again.
These clowns are not competent enough to train dogs to piss on my lawn!
Everybody involved in this should go to JAIL.
My opinion? Yes. Extreme. No. If it was my son and this happened to him, Jail would be a light punishment for these morons. I'd love to have 5 or 10 minutes alone with a few of these idiots.
Then they could see what PTSD was all about and they may understand it completely, because I think they may experience it first hand.
-bigmike
Literally, I am outraged and flabbergasted and mad as hell. The movie "Network" comes to mind. At whom you may ask? Well……Lets just say the stupidity has a name but not a face this time.
Check out this link - Soldiers treated like crap , that I heard and read about on NPR, December 4th, 2006.
This is what Cindy Sheehan should be protesting.
This should not be allowed. This is criminal conduct in my mind.
This should be given the same news treatment by the liberal press that those pictures from Abu Gharib generated.
This should not be protected by top army brass. The President should appear on national television talking about this and he should be pissed off too.
Everybody involved in this mess should be booted from the military and then jailed doing hard time breaking rocks for about 20 years.
Army Officials at Fort Carson in Colorado are kicking soldiers out of the army for BS teeny tiny rule infractions instead of treating them for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The pinheads in charge do not think it is important to follow their own rules and do not care about what they are doing to their fellow soldiers. It is way more important to worry about the training schedule and their own records than it is to have basic common concern for their fellow soldier and his mental health.
It is absolutely incredible and I am just stunned we would treat our own soldiers like this and they would think it is OK. One sergeant interviewed gave advice that was essentially to “suck it up and be a man, I went through the same thing they did and it didn't bother me”. He says they are faking. He knows more about it than the doctors. He is brilliant. He is also a criminal in my book.
This is the beginning of the article-
Soldiers Face Obstacles to Mental Health Services
by Daniel Zwerdling Morning Edition, December 4, 2006 · The military promises to help soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan with emotional problems, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But an NPR investigation at one base in Colorado finds that soldiers aren't getting the services they need. (see Soldiers treated like crap )
And this is only the beginning and trust me , is not one-tenth of the eventual story.
They are denied the time to get to appointments. They are denied consults with doctors. They are denied timely care and made to wait weeks to see anyone because the facilities cannot handle all the men and women who need help. They are treated as outcasts. If they go to the doctor without some pinheads permission , even if this pinhead knows they have been diagnosed with PTSD or any one of a dozen other issues, they are declared AWOL (absent with out leave) and the military police comes to arrest them at their homes or at the doctors office. They may not see private doctors. They are ostracized. NO one talks to them, no one looks at them, they beat their wives and children, they turn to drugs and drink to make the pain go away, and NO ONE CARES! Basically their attitude is "too bad, so sad, get back in line you loser!!”
So in order to get rid of them, even if they were diagnosed with any kind of disorder, including PTSD, they are literally kicked out of the military on trumped up miniscule charges, given a dishonorable discharge and thrown out into the streets. Then because some pinhead Colonel or some self important moron ignorant General signed the papers kicking them out on an administrative discharge, they are also denied after military care, because they were “losers who couldn’t hack it”.
No treatment, no counseling, no medicine, no promotions, no care, and then a black stain on their record which denies them basic after military care at any military facility worldwide. All of this because the clinics are under funded, understaffed, and not a priority on this base and probably many others.
AAARRGGGGHHHH ! I can't believe this!!! What a load of crap. Somebody blows their own brains out right next to you and gets their brains on your face from the gunshot and you are supposed to not only not be affected, you should just say “Sucks to be you” and go to lunch.
Whistle while you work.........., BLAM, brains in your cornflakes, no problem. Happy go lucky me!
I want to see everybody in charge of this, sent to jail for criminal mistreatment of American Soldiers and American citizens. They prosecuted American soldiers for alleged mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners, these jerk offs should have the book thrown at them too for mistreating American soldiers. They should not be leading American combat soldiers into the bathroom, let alone into a war.
My wife is a nurse. If she did this, she'd be prosecuted and fined and jailed and would never be able to nurse again.
These clowns are not competent enough to train dogs to piss on my lawn!
Everybody involved in this should go to JAIL.
My opinion? Yes. Extreme. No. If it was my son and this happened to him, Jail would be a light punishment for these morons. I'd love to have 5 or 10 minutes alone with a few of these idiots.
Then they could see what PTSD was all about and they may understand it completely, because I think they may experience it first hand.
-bigmike
Sunday, November 26, 2006
The New Music model ( or how to buy something without ever owning it)
Wow.
A lot has happened in the past three or four years with regards to how we obtain and listen to music hasn’t it?
I am astounded at all the ways we can now enjoy our favorite artists and listen to our music.
Just in the last few years we have went from the ability to play a CD version of our song that we went to a brick and mortar store and bought to never actually owning the CD and only having an electronic version we downloaded from the Internet.
New words have shown up as well. iPod, Zune, Mp3, wma, DRM. These words meant virtually nothing 10-15 years ago.
Technology is always changing , sometimes for the better and sometimes not. The only thing you can say about it is that it will change. The rub and what sets new technology apart from the old technology is whether or not you choose to accept it.
Here’s a story to illustrate my point. Back in the good old days ( the late seventies) my Dad had what was considered by our family to be the schniz-nizzle of all music playing equipment. He owned a slick looking , encased in Aluminum, suitcase style, reel to reel sound system. You remember those don’t you? You used to see them all the time in movies and James Bond type flicks of the day. I think they illustrated the point that you were sophisticated and cool if you owned one of these devices. He would sit down and fire that bad boy up and you would have thought Walt Disney or Gunsmoke was on TV. Everybody would stop what they were doing and migrate into the front room with Dad and sit quietly while he fiddled with it trying to get the tape loaded onto the pickup reel correctly. I think we were all silently hoping he had some new music for it, however usually it was more of the same and the speakers he had at the time were pretty low class, but being kids , we didn’t know any better. Then he would get it right and out would come the lovely strains of another John Phillips Sousa march of some kind. (Kids silently depart the room.) Mom wanders back to her kitchen and puzzles or whatever. Dad gets lost in thoughts of Andrews sisters or Benny Goodman or some such topical reference. Seemed then like the machine was the point and the music was pretty much secondary.
I never did have any interest in those contraptions once I turned into a long haired hippie freak teenager. They may have been cool, but you couldn’t carry it around with you and impress girls with it so what was the point. Hell that’s all I cared about at the time.
Then along came the 8 track tape player. Now this was COOL. I could have the worst Junker of a car imaginable yet because I had a 8 track tape player (a miniature version of the reel to reel player I was to find out later) I could drive around and girls would be able to hear my music on my stereo in my car (away from my parents) and maybe , just maybe if I played the right Bee-Gees song, I would get lucky. Meaning my very strong desire as a teenager to see every other teenaged girl I knew naked underneath me, would be satisfied. Or so I thought at the time.
The only problem was it got old quick playing the same music over and over again in the same order. I spent a lot of money buying the latest K-Tell tape to play in that thing. Then something pretty interesting happened. That technology pretty much died a quick death. One day I was bopping along buying and playing 8 tracks and the next something called “CD’s” were all the rage. Or so it seems now in retrospect. Truth is it probably took a few years to change , but in my youth then and my older age now it seems like it was instantaneous. Same with 45’s, LP albums and Cassettes. Here one day and gone tomorrow.
Everything about all of this makes perfect sense to me except for one small thing. I don’t get and no matter how hard I try, I will never understand downloaded, DRM (Digital Rights Management) protected, subscription music. iPod by Apple and their iTunes store technology along with Microsoft and their new Zune would have you believe that it makes perfect sense to buy your tracks 99 cents at a time.
This is the big lie. It really doesn't make any logical sense at all. I guess you could say it is also the newest imperfect technology. Read on and I'll give you my opinion why it appears to be a rip-off. At least to me.
You see the trick of the game they play on you without telling you, is you never really own the songs. You never have full control over what you do with them. You really didn’t ever “buy” them. They want you to think you did, but you didn’t.
Consider the following scenario. You download a song on the subscription model (that they lie to you about and favorably compare to being about the same as having a cable TV account).
Say you use iTunes and download a song to your iPod. Can you play it on any other player? Nope. Can you play it on any other computer? Nope. What is the chance you would be able to get it back in playing condition if your computer crashed? Maybe. Depends on if you used a service that is still in business.
Now ask yourself these basic questions.
Do I have all of these restrictions on Cable TV? Well I don't know, Lets see.
Will cable play on any other TV ? Yeah, Pretty much. Cable doesn’t care what player (TV) is being used. If your cable service goes out during a storm does it come back and just work? Yeah, again, pretty much. Unless the line got torn down, in which case it’ll be back in a day or two once they fix it. No action required on your part , except to pay the bill. Can I record my TV show and play it back on pretty much any television? You ever heard of a VCR? Or a DVR? Or a Tivo? No brainer if you ask me.
You see what you are actually doing with DRM protected music is not buying it. You are not “subscribing” to it. You never, ever really own it, unless you burned it immediately to CD. You will not be able to store it forever and ever and play it when ever you want to 25 years from now. You are leasing it (maybe renting is a better analogy, because like renting a house, when you stop paying for it, you have to give it up) . It will always belong to the place or company who provided the DRM technology in the first place, because the company who supplied it to you controls everything you can do with it.
You don’t believe me ? Stop paying your subscription bill and see what happens to your ability to play the music you have already “paid” for.
Now consider what happened to the 8 track player. When you buy a new computer, how will you access your DRM , subscribed music? Better yet, Can you access it? Can you play it? (The answer here is maybe, but probably not, depending on how technically capable you are, how well you understand licensing and how well you can follow complicated instructions) What happens if your hard drive crashed?
The answer usually is pretty much the same no matter what the problem or question is.
Sorry about your luck pal, you must start over. Your problem, not ours.
Sucks to be you.
This is why I don’t get it. If my CD player dies, I just buy another one. Poof , instant music. If my generic mP3 player dies, I just get another one. Poof, instant music.
If my subscription dies, not Poof, Not instant music. If my computer dies, not Poof, not instant music.
I have a lot of music. I own every bit of it. I bought every CD. I can burn as many copies of it as I want to.
The difference is in how you perceive ownership. When I own it, it is mine to do with what I want, within reason.
Same as owning a book. I can’t copy it and sell it because I would be breaking a perfectly reasonable copyright law. With , DRM (Digital Rights Management) protected music, I can only do what they say I can do with it and then only as long as the technology still works as intended. The decision is never mine to make, so I can't break the law, even if I wanted to.
This concept is called self determination. If I can't decide to abide by the law and can't decide to break it, then I don't own it. If I can't make any decisions about how I can choose to use it, then it is not my product nor is it my choice. Certainly there are ways around this, however every one of them involves a massive compromise, either in the sound quality or the legality.
I’ll be surprised is this is the answer to file sharing. I can’t imagine that this idiocy will still be around in 10 years. Too many flaws. Too many restrictions. Too many problems. Too much crap to put up with.
Who wants to own a music time share?
jmho.
~ bigmike
A lot has happened in the past three or four years with regards to how we obtain and listen to music hasn’t it?
I am astounded at all the ways we can now enjoy our favorite artists and listen to our music.
Just in the last few years we have went from the ability to play a CD version of our song that we went to a brick and mortar store and bought to never actually owning the CD and only having an electronic version we downloaded from the Internet.
New words have shown up as well. iPod, Zune, Mp3, wma, DRM. These words meant virtually nothing 10-15 years ago.
Technology is always changing , sometimes for the better and sometimes not. The only thing you can say about it is that it will change. The rub and what sets new technology apart from the old technology is whether or not you choose to accept it.
Here’s a story to illustrate my point. Back in the good old days ( the late seventies) my Dad had what was considered by our family to be the schniz-nizzle of all music playing equipment. He owned a slick looking , encased in Aluminum, suitcase style, reel to reel sound system. You remember those don’t you? You used to see them all the time in movies and James Bond type flicks of the day. I think they illustrated the point that you were sophisticated and cool if you owned one of these devices. He would sit down and fire that bad boy up and you would have thought Walt Disney or Gunsmoke was on TV. Everybody would stop what they were doing and migrate into the front room with Dad and sit quietly while he fiddled with it trying to get the tape loaded onto the pickup reel correctly. I think we were all silently hoping he had some new music for it, however usually it was more of the same and the speakers he had at the time were pretty low class, but being kids , we didn’t know any better. Then he would get it right and out would come the lovely strains of another John Phillips Sousa march of some kind. (Kids silently depart the room.) Mom wanders back to her kitchen and puzzles or whatever. Dad gets lost in thoughts of Andrews sisters or Benny Goodman or some such topical reference. Seemed then like the machine was the point and the music was pretty much secondary.
I never did have any interest in those contraptions once I turned into a long haired hippie freak teenager. They may have been cool, but you couldn’t carry it around with you and impress girls with it so what was the point. Hell that’s all I cared about at the time.
Then along came the 8 track tape player. Now this was COOL. I could have the worst Junker of a car imaginable yet because I had a 8 track tape player (a miniature version of the reel to reel player I was to find out later) I could drive around and girls would be able to hear my music on my stereo in my car (away from my parents) and maybe , just maybe if I played the right Bee-Gees song, I would get lucky. Meaning my very strong desire as a teenager to see every other teenaged girl I knew naked underneath me, would be satisfied. Or so I thought at the time.
The only problem was it got old quick playing the same music over and over again in the same order. I spent a lot of money buying the latest K-Tell tape to play in that thing. Then something pretty interesting happened. That technology pretty much died a quick death. One day I was bopping along buying and playing 8 tracks and the next something called “CD’s” were all the rage. Or so it seems now in retrospect. Truth is it probably took a few years to change , but in my youth then and my older age now it seems like it was instantaneous. Same with 45’s, LP albums and Cassettes. Here one day and gone tomorrow.
Everything about all of this makes perfect sense to me except for one small thing. I don’t get and no matter how hard I try, I will never understand downloaded, DRM (Digital Rights Management) protected, subscription music. iPod by Apple and their iTunes store technology along with Microsoft and their new Zune would have you believe that it makes perfect sense to buy your tracks 99 cents at a time.
This is the big lie. It really doesn't make any logical sense at all. I guess you could say it is also the newest imperfect technology. Read on and I'll give you my opinion why it appears to be a rip-off. At least to me.
You see the trick of the game they play on you without telling you, is you never really own the songs. You never have full control over what you do with them. You really didn’t ever “buy” them. They want you to think you did, but you didn’t.
Consider the following scenario. You download a song on the subscription model (that they lie to you about and favorably compare to being about the same as having a cable TV account).
Say you use iTunes and download a song to your iPod. Can you play it on any other player? Nope. Can you play it on any other computer? Nope. What is the chance you would be able to get it back in playing condition if your computer crashed? Maybe. Depends on if you used a service that is still in business.
Now ask yourself these basic questions.
Do I have all of these restrictions on Cable TV? Well I don't know, Lets see.
Will cable play on any other TV ? Yeah, Pretty much. Cable doesn’t care what player (TV) is being used. If your cable service goes out during a storm does it come back and just work? Yeah, again, pretty much. Unless the line got torn down, in which case it’ll be back in a day or two once they fix it. No action required on your part , except to pay the bill. Can I record my TV show and play it back on pretty much any television? You ever heard of a VCR? Or a DVR? Or a Tivo? No brainer if you ask me.
You see what you are actually doing with DRM protected music is not buying it. You are not “subscribing” to it. You never, ever really own it, unless you burned it immediately to CD. You will not be able to store it forever and ever and play it when ever you want to 25 years from now. You are leasing it (maybe renting is a better analogy, because like renting a house, when you stop paying for it, you have to give it up) . It will always belong to the place or company who provided the DRM technology in the first place, because the company who supplied it to you controls everything you can do with it.
You don’t believe me ? Stop paying your subscription bill and see what happens to your ability to play the music you have already “paid” for.
Now consider what happened to the 8 track player. When you buy a new computer, how will you access your DRM , subscribed music? Better yet, Can you access it? Can you play it? (The answer here is maybe, but probably not, depending on how technically capable you are, how well you understand licensing and how well you can follow complicated instructions) What happens if your hard drive crashed?
The answer usually is pretty much the same no matter what the problem or question is.
Sorry about your luck pal, you must start over. Your problem, not ours.
Sucks to be you.
This is why I don’t get it. If my CD player dies, I just buy another one. Poof , instant music. If my generic mP3 player dies, I just get another one. Poof, instant music.
If my subscription dies, not Poof, Not instant music. If my computer dies, not Poof, not instant music.
I have a lot of music. I own every bit of it. I bought every CD. I can burn as many copies of it as I want to.
The difference is in how you perceive ownership. When I own it, it is mine to do with what I want, within reason.
Same as owning a book. I can’t copy it and sell it because I would be breaking a perfectly reasonable copyright law. With , DRM (Digital Rights Management) protected music, I can only do what they say I can do with it and then only as long as the technology still works as intended. The decision is never mine to make, so I can't break the law, even if I wanted to.
This concept is called self determination. If I can't decide to abide by the law and can't decide to break it, then I don't own it. If I can't make any decisions about how I can choose to use it, then it is not my product nor is it my choice. Certainly there are ways around this, however every one of them involves a massive compromise, either in the sound quality or the legality.
I’ll be surprised is this is the answer to file sharing. I can’t imagine that this idiocy will still be around in 10 years. Too many flaws. Too many restrictions. Too many problems. Too much crap to put up with.
Who wants to own a music time share?
jmho.
~ bigmike
Saturday, November 25, 2006
An Open Letter to Microsoft
Today I just want to say a few words about my favorite subject, The Microsoft Corporation.
This is not really a rant so much as it is a recognition that monolithic company's do not have the time or the patience to hear what the little guys (namely individual customers - like you and me) have to say, want or need. They just don't care as long as their marketing department can make it sound right, it doesn't matter if it is right.
Like many of you, I have been using MS products since MS-DOS. Heck I even still use a couple of batch commands written in DOS style to accomplish certain things. You basically cannot work on a computer without using their products, even if all of your stuff is free ware open source, chances are somewhere in your internet movement of email or online ordering that your information will go through a Microsoft product. They are everywhere. hence the monolith reference.
That being said, I think somebody needs to tell these guys that enough is enough. They need to STOP and think about what they are doing to us and what they have done to us and make it right. Fat chance they ever will. This is Probably an exercise in futility. I am going to have my say though. Lets start at the present and work backwards.
An Open Letter to Microsoft ( or bullet points to live by)
- The general public does not want, does not need and cannot afford Windows Vista. Why don't you just sit down and fix the crap you already sold us last year? We won’t be able to afford the hardware or the software. You are the ones that need us to buy it, because of the planned obsolescence of Windows XP. Make it affordable for the general public and we may purchase it. Keep as planned and watch us not buy. It is way too friggin’ expensive. If you can basically give away game consoles in order to get in and stay in the game market, do the same for the home computer user. Don’t you think we know you under priced the original Xbox on purpose?
- Fix your software before you sell it. Make everybody who sells it do the same if they want the rights to install it on a computer running your OS. Quit putting out this bug ridden, half done, patched to death , worthless code you call a finished product. Do the knowledgebase articles on all the bugs in your code have to number in the millions before somebody over there in Redmond gets the joke?
- MS-Office costs way too much and is too confusing. It is too complex. There are too many variations and too many permutations of the various ways it can be configured and bought. You ever wonder why you sell so many “Academic Editions” It makes too many mistakes getting installed. Simplify it and make it easy for us to use. I write some code (although I am not a programmer) use office every single day and have never used some of the silly bells and whistles you stick on a product in order to give it a higher perceived value. Knock it off. It is stupid and is a rip off to charge $ 500.00 to upgrade a product you already own.
Bad PR too. - Spend some of your billions in cash and fix the junk you sold us in the past that millions of people still use every day. You told us Windows 95 was the greatest thing since sliced bread. You should have realized you made a mistake and should have done the right thing and made it right for all of us when it crashed on Bill Gates during the live TV product launch. Instead you listened to some marketing guy who told you it would be ok, because you could now sell more , newer versions instead of giving away the fix to the junk you sold in the first place. I mean , why would we need a virus scanner in the first place , if the product wasn’t ill prepared to deal with the problems presented by your code?
- Step up and fix the errors your people made and quit selling us “Upgrades” which are really “Updates” to existing products. You don’t really expect us to 100 % believe that a product marked as “Must have XXX product to qualify” doesn’t really mean you are relying on previous code of the former product to be in place so you can fix it do you?
- I can go to the auto parts store and still buy new parts for my 1986 Ford Ranger Truck. Can I still get code and repair support for Windows 3.0 ? , 3.1 ?, 3.11?, Win 95?, Win 98?, Win 98SE (second edition a separate OS charge for the upgrade)?, Windows ME?, Windows CE?, Win 2000 ?, Windows 2000 Professional (or Windows NT if you prefer)?
NO, I can’t and it is planned that way and it is crap.
It is a big fat stinking pile of BS. - I have refrigerators, televisions and radios that last longer than your Operating systems do. It is not a crime to sell something into a planned obsolescence death spiral, but it should be, because you sell all of them like they are a brand new product when in fact all of those products contain elements and modules that were built with the first versions. I can still find the icons file I have been using since the very first versions of your operating systems in your latest products.
- And now here come the platitudes for Windows Vista. Go on over to Vista Features And you’ll see things like “Windows Vista introduces a breakthrough user experience and is designed to help you feel confident in your ability to view, find, and organize information and to control your computing experience.”
- Ahhhhrrrggghhh ! This is a new product designed to pump up the bank accounts of Microsoft executives and raise the stock price and that is all. You will need new everything if you run a Pentium class processor to run this thing. It eats hard drives for breakfast, and needs more RAM than most people have ever seen in any computer they have ever owned. Almost none of your current software will run correctly on 64 bit processing. Your current motherboard probably will not run it (especially if it is 3 or 4 years old) , your current monitor is not big enough, your fancy video cards won’t run on it most likely and if you have a laptop you are thinking about upgrading , Fugghedaboutit!
- Here is the worst part.
All of this and more is designed into the product. The marketing plan is to separate and extract as many corporate dollars as is humanly monolithically possible from corporate clients and you as the individual do not matter. - By the way did I mention that the cost of a new computer will triple or quintuple (depending on whom you believe) over current prices? The days of a good cheap computer are about gone.
- Yeah Bill. This is definitely for our own good and is the best you could do. We are all so proud of you and your good works. And you wonder why Linux is getting bigger and bigger everyday ? Wake up and get a clue. By a vowel Vanna. Kinda brings back the heady days of Y2K and the free wheeling spending of all those IT departments who set those sales records don’t it?
I hate getting taken advantage of and having them think we all are just stupid mindless sheep and of course you don’t know any better.~
WHATEVER. Smells like dog crap, looks like dog crap, must be dog crap.
jmho
~bigmike
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Things you can only say at Thanksgiving!
Things you can only say at Thanksgiving!
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool whip time.
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst.
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for dark meat.
7. Are your ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some.
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool whip time.
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst.
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for dark meat.
7. Are your ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some.
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
MAN LAW 101
"I got this from the Internet. I am not the author. Having said that.......this is funny!"
-bigmike
2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
-bigmike
MAN LAW 101
1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
- When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
- The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
- After wrecking your boss's car.
- One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
- When she is using her teeth.
3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports wa tchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
- Yeah, Baby, Push it!
- C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
- Another set and we can hit the showers!
22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
- "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
- "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!
"We hope this clears up any confusion, The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
AND THIS JUNK IS NEWS !
The following list (by no means inclusive) recently made all the headlines .
My question is simple, yet has a couple of moving parts
A ) Why do we think this is newsworthy?
B) Why do we pay attention to this crap?
and
C) WHO CARES?
Top Ten Decidedly unnewsworthy made up worthless news we are bombarded with daily.
My question is simple, yet has a couple of moving parts
A ) Why do we think this is newsworthy?
B) Why do we pay attention to this crap?
and
C) WHO CARES?
Top Ten Decidedly unnewsworthy made up worthless news we are bombarded with daily.
- Madonna goes on tour again. " Has Beens in Paradise tour 06?"(Who cares?)
- OJ sells a book and does an interview. "I didn't do it , I was at the movies honest." (Who cares?)
- FOX cancels the book and the interview. Burns the book. " I know nothing, nothing."(Who cares?)
- Michael Jackson performs at a music show (or doesn't) again - "King of Pedo-Pop flops?" (Who cares?)
- Madonna adopts a baby -yawn- (Who Cares?) Repeat offender. See #1.
- Tom Cruise gets married to whats her name.- Her claim to fame is showing her breasts in a movie. WHICH ONE YOU ASK? I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DON'T CARE !(Couldn't care less)
- Brittney is splitney. Files for divorce from Joe no talent. Hope the home movie does real well for her though. text to K-Fed- "K-fed. Bred. Fled. Red. Over.-Brit" (Big friggin whoopee)
- Katie Couric can't think of her own send off for her nightly news show. How about "I'm Katie Couric and this was the news, Goodbye". Give this a try, I bet it works. (Whatever)
- Anything Paris Hilton does, did or will do. Ever. Or for that matter anything anyone ever says to her or does to her on videotape.(Pointless to care)- I wouldn't take the time to visist this Paris for ten minutes , much less a whole night. I hear Siskel and Ebert gave her movie a thumbs up though because even though the plot was real weak and the dialogue sucked, the cinematogrophy was pretty good when the lights were off and you couldn't see her face.
- Anything some stupid celebrity says- i.e-Mel Gibson, Michael Richards (Kramer), Lindsay Lohan, et al- Just because they make money in buckets I should care? (Here's a clue - I don't)
And actually, come to think about it, nobody I have ever met has ever cared about this crap.
Every bit of it is manufactured to give us something to watch on the electronic activity director.
Maybe some dissaffected loser who is high on crack or crank or meth who only has a black and white TV , 2 jello donuts and nothing else to do cares about this crap, But I gotta tell you, I can't believe normal people with normal problems do at all.
I'd love to talk more about it but I gotta go, Jerry Springer is on, and my neighbors are on todays show. (It's all about how the pets divorced the owners and they are now on Jerry telling him how they (two male dogs) were forced to participate in disgusting immoral acts, cause thats how the masters liked it.
This is gonna be good.
Couple Calls for orgasm for peace.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/peace_orgasm
Really I am not making this one up !!
In its entirety is the news story below which explains this.
Perverts for Peace. Finally, a protest group I maybe could appreciate !
- bigmike
By MARCUS WOHLSEN, Associated Press Writer Sun Nov 19, 9:05 PM ET
SAN FRANCISCO - Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter.
But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.
The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.
"The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Reffell said Sunday. "Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change."
The couple are no strangers to sex and social activism. Sheehan, no relation to anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, brought together nearly 50 women in 2002 who stripped naked and spelled out the word "Peace."
The stunt spawned a mini-movement called Baring Witness that led to similar unclothed demonstrations worldwide.
The couple have studied evolutionary psychology and believe that war is mainly an outgrowth of men trying to impress potential mates, a case of "my missile is bigger than your missile," as Reffell put it.
By promoting what they hope to be a synchronized global orgasm, they hope to get people to channel their sexual energy into something more positive.
The couple said interest appears strong, with 26,000 hits a day to their Web site, http://www.globalorgasm.org.
"The dream is to have everyone in the world (take part)," Reffell said. "And if that means laying down your gun for a few minutes, then hey, all the better."
Really I am not making this one up !!
In its entirety is the news story below which explains this.
Perverts for Peace. Finally, a protest group I maybe could appreciate !
- bigmike
By MARCUS WOHLSEN, Associated Press Writer Sun Nov 19, 9:05 PM ET
SAN FRANCISCO - Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter.
But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.
The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.
"The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it," Reffell said Sunday. "Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change."
The couple are no strangers to sex and social activism. Sheehan, no relation to anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, brought together nearly 50 women in 2002 who stripped naked and spelled out the word "Peace."
The stunt spawned a mini-movement called Baring Witness that led to similar unclothed demonstrations worldwide.
The couple have studied evolutionary psychology and believe that war is mainly an outgrowth of men trying to impress potential mates, a case of "my missile is bigger than your missile," as Reffell put it.
By promoting what they hope to be a synchronized global orgasm, they hope to get people to channel their sexual energy into something more positive.
The couple said interest appears strong, with 26,000 hits a day to their Web site, http://www.globalorgasm.org.
"The dream is to have everyone in the world (take part)," Reffell said. "And if that means laying down your gun for a few minutes, then hey, all the better."
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Yawn....Here we go again !!
We are a nation of sheep following a herd of lemmings who are defined by and are in love with the sound bite. Its the fall of another political season and the politicians are in full swing with TV ads, billboards, radio spots and newspaper stories.
You ever wonder why we put up with this crap? In the next 30 days a virtual storm of political ads will be seen by every television owner in the USA an average of 18 times per day. Most importantly they are in full swing with the empty “If elected….” promises.
We being the operative word here. “We the people” who are exposed to the lies and the half truths and the deceit that is the norm in this type of advertising that they think is important to get elected.
In my opinion the reason we put up with it has nothing to do with your political affiliation. It has nothing to do with your sensibility or with your ability to reason or with your politics.
It also has nothing in common at all with your values or your social status or your version of the American dream.
Hell, it probably has nothing to do with your social status or how much money you earn.
Pretty strong words here however , I think the reason we put up with negative political attack ads , is about the same reason we do not have a long term strategy (as a country) about how to really fix social security or demand that Congress fix the budgets or get really pissed that they spend money on ludicrous things like research that has no value.
Its about the same thing as always voting a straight political ticket or protesting where the latest trash dump is going (but only if it is anywhere near your own house).
We are a nation accustomed to creature comfort and in love with apathy. We adore passing the buck. We like to bitch and moan but really have no stomach for the work involved in doing the job. We are zealous about our condemnation of the “enemy “, and are absolutely thrilled to have somebody else define who the enemy is for us. We don’t care who goes broke as long as its not us and we can solve every problem we would ever possibly have if we could only win the lottery.
We are a bunch of fat lazy slobs who don’t pick up their own clothes if we don’t have to and we would rather know the latest gossip about Madonna or Brittany Spears than have our collective brains injured thinking about real problems in the society we live in.
We need Oprah to tell us what book to buy, Dr. Phil to tell us how to treat each other, Angelina Jolie to tell us what we should be concerned with in the world, Dr. Ruth to tell us how to love each other, Bill O’Reilly to tell us what we should be pissed off about and Jerry Springer to entertain us telling us stories about how “trashy people” act.
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, We make chicken right, you deserve a break today, The fresher picker upper. Wait , wait that’s not all ! I’m Billy Mayes. Buy our crap because its new and improved.
Politicians can lie because we want them to. They can cheat because we expect them to. They can toss out political ads like yesterdays garbage and some supposed “GURU” like James Carville can make a career of telling some politician to win by trashing his opponents character because we love to win, hate to lose yet don’t want to do the work it takes to get the job done.
The sad amazing and stupid thing is, all we would have to do to fix the whole mess is go to the polls on election day and vote. See Politico Speak is an art form .
I’d love to talk to you more about it , but football is on and I need to get my weekly vicarious thrill by living through my dream of being an NFL quarterback. Go Colts !@!@!@!
You ever wonder why we put up with this crap? In the next 30 days a virtual storm of political ads will be seen by every television owner in the USA an average of 18 times per day. Most importantly they are in full swing with the empty “If elected….” promises.
We being the operative word here. “We the people” who are exposed to the lies and the half truths and the deceit that is the norm in this type of advertising that they think is important to get elected.
In my opinion the reason we put up with it has nothing to do with your political affiliation. It has nothing to do with your sensibility or with your ability to reason or with your politics.
It also has nothing in common at all with your values or your social status or your version of the American dream.
Hell, it probably has nothing to do with your social status or how much money you earn.
Pretty strong words here however , I think the reason we put up with negative political attack ads , is about the same reason we do not have a long term strategy (as a country) about how to really fix social security or demand that Congress fix the budgets or get really pissed that they spend money on ludicrous things like research that has no value.
Its about the same thing as always voting a straight political ticket or protesting where the latest trash dump is going (but only if it is anywhere near your own house).
We are a nation accustomed to creature comfort and in love with apathy. We adore passing the buck. We like to bitch and moan but really have no stomach for the work involved in doing the job. We are zealous about our condemnation of the “enemy “, and are absolutely thrilled to have somebody else define who the enemy is for us. We don’t care who goes broke as long as its not us and we can solve every problem we would ever possibly have if we could only win the lottery.
We are a bunch of fat lazy slobs who don’t pick up their own clothes if we don’t have to and we would rather know the latest gossip about Madonna or Brittany Spears than have our collective brains injured thinking about real problems in the society we live in.
We need Oprah to tell us what book to buy, Dr. Phil to tell us how to treat each other, Angelina Jolie to tell us what we should be concerned with in the world, Dr. Ruth to tell us how to love each other, Bill O’Reilly to tell us what we should be pissed off about and Jerry Springer to entertain us telling us stories about how “trashy people” act.
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, We make chicken right, you deserve a break today, The fresher picker upper. Wait , wait that’s not all ! I’m Billy Mayes. Buy our crap because its new and improved.
Politicians can lie because we want them to. They can cheat because we expect them to. They can toss out political ads like yesterdays garbage and some supposed “GURU” like James Carville can make a career of telling some politician to win by trashing his opponents character because we love to win, hate to lose yet don’t want to do the work it takes to get the job done.
The sad amazing and stupid thing is, all we would have to do to fix the whole mess is go to the polls on election day and vote. See Politico Speak is an art form .
I’d love to talk to you more about it , but football is on and I need to get my weekly vicarious thrill by living through my dream of being an NFL quarterback. Go Colts !@!@!@!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Children say the darndest things !
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture." Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
And so it goes......
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture." Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
And so it goes......
Thursday, October 5, 2006
Bubba's story
My wife sent this to and I thought it was funny. Being as that I am a sharing , thoughtful , giving person I thought I would send it out to the world as well. -(yeah right !)-bigmike
Bubba, a furniture dealer from Tennessee, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris (France, not Paris, Tennessee) to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit A small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.
She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner.
Later, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance.
They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
To this day, Bubba has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business
BuBBa
Bubba, a furniture dealer from Tennessee, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris (France, not Paris, Tennessee) to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit A small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.
She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner.
Later, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance.
They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
To this day, Bubba has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
IDLE THOUGHTS
IDLE THOUGHTS
I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed
it.
I had amnesia once -- or was it twice?
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
Experience is the thing you have left when every thing else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
The shampoo promised me extra body and I gained three pounds.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look
like a nail.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man
who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Amish school shooting
Now there is a story about a guy who killed several little Amish girls at an Amish school.
No sarcasm today, just some heartfelt sorrow that we have to put up with nuts like this guy.
Too bad he couldn't have just shot himself before he went to the school.
The Amish say they are already to forgive him and are thinking about how they can help his family get through this terrible time.
Sorry to say I couldn't be anywhere this generous.
-bigmike
Monday, October 2, 2006
15 minutes of fame
Andy Warhol I think it was once said sic..."that everyone eventually gets their 15 minutes of fame"or something to that affect.
Evidently he never anticipated Ken Jennings, the geek that won all the Jeopardy money after winning on 74 or 75 shows a couple of years ago.
This guy is like having a pimple on your butt that won't pop.
He never goes away and he is a pain in the rear.
Hey Ken, Your 15 minutes is up.
Move on you media hound !
Evidently he never anticipated Ken Jennings, the geek that won all the Jeopardy money after winning on 74 or 75 shows a couple of years ago.
This guy is like having a pimple on your butt that won't pop.
He never goes away and he is a pain in the rear.
Hey Ken, Your 15 minutes is up.
Move on you media hound !
And Now ! - Some more bad jokes !
Looking to buy a frog?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money."
Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
A neutron at a bar
A neutron walks into a bar.
"I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
Some very common traits in two drunks
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?""I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man.
I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?""Dublin," comes the reply."
I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?""Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender."
Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."
Three vampires go to a bar
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like.
The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."
The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."
The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some plasma."
The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct.
You want two bloods and a blood light?"
Football stupidity
Yesterday the big sports news of the day was that a humongous defensive player stomped on the un-helmeted head of a running back who had just scored a touchdown.
Took a bunch of stitches to close the guys wounds and the offending player was booted from the game. His coach later said he would be punished for what he did. He even had a talk with reporters where he said his own act was "disgusting", " and had no place in the game."
Please.
Give me a break.
How you gonna punish this guy?
The coach and the league has basically no power over millionaires anyway. You gonna make him not play for 6-8 games? Fine him 100 K? Throw him out for the season?
So what!
He gets to sit at home in his McMansion , counting the money he has in the bank already? He gets to be interviewed on ESPN about what a louse he is and how he is gonna atone for his mistake?
Is this the same game where it is OK to basically slam into anyone else on the opposing team with full speed just to prevent a first down? You can break his arm and both legs as long as the rules aren't violated?
You ever watched the pile after a fumble? Punches are thrown, heads are kicked, elbows are smashed into each others faces, and this is any worse? Just because the guy got a couple of stitches? Or because the camera caught him in the act?
I see all the time where a guy is basically down (by tackle) and some other guy will throw his body , head first into the fray to keep him from moving forward 3 inches.
I see all the time where a quarterback is slammed into the ground (rules notwithstanding) by some huge defensive player and they merely call that a sack.
You can put a player in the hospital with a "legal" hit and make doctors remove his spleen and that’s OK, but this is somehow different?
Get over it.
This is exactly why people watch football in the first place. Madness, mayhem, injuries and broken legs are what keeps fans coming back. I mean have you ever listened to the crown with their chants of "Kill the umpire", or "Murder the bums" or something like that?
Who watches NASCAR for the racing?
We all want to see the big wreck!
Pitchers pitch at the batters heads and then both benches clear into a fight on the field with coaches and players duking it out, Basketball players commit "Hard fouls" (by slamming the guy into the floor while he is shooting), hockey players slam into each other at full speed and then switch to boxing when they get pissed, golfers throw their clubs and get prissy with the audience (the gallery) when somebody makes a sound with a camera or a camera phone and on and on and on.
Yeah I know, what the guy did was stupid. Ignorant as a matter of fact.
It was also assault with intent to injure.
You want to stop this crap, make the penalty fit the crime in all sports.
If you or I kick a guy in the head and make him get stitches what do you think they would do to us?
Do the crime, do the time, is what I say.
Arrest his butt for assault and make him where pink jail clothes for a couple of years.
That'll teach him.
Whatever.
Took a bunch of stitches to close the guys wounds and the offending player was booted from the game. His coach later said he would be punished for what he did. He even had a talk with reporters where he said his own act was "disgusting", " and had no place in the game."
Please.
Give me a break.
How you gonna punish this guy?
The coach and the league has basically no power over millionaires anyway. You gonna make him not play for 6-8 games? Fine him 100 K? Throw him out for the season?
So what!
He gets to sit at home in his McMansion , counting the money he has in the bank already? He gets to be interviewed on ESPN about what a louse he is and how he is gonna atone for his mistake?
Is this the same game where it is OK to basically slam into anyone else on the opposing team with full speed just to prevent a first down? You can break his arm and both legs as long as the rules aren't violated?
You ever watched the pile after a fumble? Punches are thrown, heads are kicked, elbows are smashed into each others faces, and this is any worse? Just because the guy got a couple of stitches? Or because the camera caught him in the act?
I see all the time where a guy is basically down (by tackle) and some other guy will throw his body , head first into the fray to keep him from moving forward 3 inches.
I see all the time where a quarterback is slammed into the ground (rules notwithstanding) by some huge defensive player and they merely call that a sack.
You can put a player in the hospital with a "legal" hit and make doctors remove his spleen and that’s OK, but this is somehow different?
Get over it.
This is exactly why people watch football in the first place. Madness, mayhem, injuries and broken legs are what keeps fans coming back. I mean have you ever listened to the crown with their chants of "Kill the umpire", or "Murder the bums" or something like that?
Who watches NASCAR for the racing?
We all want to see the big wreck!
Pitchers pitch at the batters heads and then both benches clear into a fight on the field with coaches and players duking it out, Basketball players commit "Hard fouls" (by slamming the guy into the floor while he is shooting), hockey players slam into each other at full speed and then switch to boxing when they get pissed, golfers throw their clubs and get prissy with the audience (the gallery) when somebody makes a sound with a camera or a camera phone and on and on and on.
Yeah I know, what the guy did was stupid. Ignorant as a matter of fact.
It was also assault with intent to injure.
You want to stop this crap, make the penalty fit the crime in all sports.
If you or I kick a guy in the head and make him get stitches what do you think they would do to us?
Do the crime, do the time, is what I say.
Arrest his butt for assault and make him where pink jail clothes for a couple of years.
That'll teach him.
Whatever.
Sunday, October 1, 2006
Automobiles
Something was mentioned to me the other day which I found kind of amusing.
A friend of mine had a car break down on them, a simple electronic part that took 15 minutes to replace. Cost him a tow bill to the shop ($85) and three lost hours of time (from work) to have the work done, plus the pasts and labor. Now keep in mind what he said was basically blurted out in frustration and anxiety, but taken out of context it is still pretty funny.
He said "There are houses that last 300 years in America, you would think they would be able to make a car last trouble free for 100,000 miles !" I really didn't say anything to him at the time, because I did not want to add to his frustration and make it worse. I did however convince him to get subscribed to AAA.
You see , here's the thing.
They can make a car that basically lasts forever. That is not the issue. the problem is if they made a car last that long and it was never obsolete, we couldn't afford to buy it. A car designed to last 300,000 miles would cost 75,000 dollars or more.
Same with electronics and tires and a lot of other consumer goods. I mean after all they can make a truck tire for 18 wheelers that lasts 250,000 miles. It costs 400 dollars to buy it, but they can make it.
Consumer goods are planned to be obsolete. The concept is actually called "Planned Obsolescence". We throw away TV's, computers, clothes, paper goods, VCR's, DVD players and just about anything else after a short period of time, because we desire to have the latest and greatest and because this is the way American business (Capitalist consumer business).
There is no need to repair a computer if it costs 300 dollars to fix and Wally world will sell you a new crappy one for 750 dollars. Doesn’t make any sense to spend a lot of money to fix old when new is just a few dollars away does it ?
Somebody has to keep the landfill employees in work don’t they?
A friend of mine had a car break down on them, a simple electronic part that took 15 minutes to replace. Cost him a tow bill to the shop ($85) and three lost hours of time (from work) to have the work done, plus the pasts and labor. Now keep in mind what he said was basically blurted out in frustration and anxiety, but taken out of context it is still pretty funny.
He said "There are houses that last 300 years in America, you would think they would be able to make a car last trouble free for 100,000 miles !" I really didn't say anything to him at the time, because I did not want to add to his frustration and make it worse. I did however convince him to get subscribed to AAA.
You see , here's the thing.
They can make a car that basically lasts forever. That is not the issue. the problem is if they made a car last that long and it was never obsolete, we couldn't afford to buy it. A car designed to last 300,000 miles would cost 75,000 dollars or more.
Same with electronics and tires and a lot of other consumer goods. I mean after all they can make a truck tire for 18 wheelers that lasts 250,000 miles. It costs 400 dollars to buy it, but they can make it.
Consumer goods are planned to be obsolete. The concept is actually called "Planned Obsolescence". We throw away TV's, computers, clothes, paper goods, VCR's, DVD players and just about anything else after a short period of time, because we desire to have the latest and greatest and because this is the way American business (Capitalist consumer business).
There is no need to repair a computer if it costs 300 dollars to fix and Wally world will sell you a new crappy one for 750 dollars. Doesn’t make any sense to spend a lot of money to fix old when new is just a few dollars away does it ?
Somebody has to keep the landfill employees in work don’t they?
Disposable technology
OK, I'll admit it.
I am a geek.
A full fledged over the top geek.
No pocket protector, no taped glasses, no high water pants and a bucketfull of attitude but a geek nonetheless.
I start talking about computers or technology to normal people and the conversation will turn to clock cycles or frame rates or Front side bus speeds and I can literally see the eyes of the person I am talking to glaze over right before my eyes. It is an amazing thing. Sometimes instead of being rude I will say something like "Have you heard about the new dual core processors?", and then count how many people look at their watch and literally figure out a way to run from the conversation. It is downright amazing ! "Love to talk to you about it , but I gotta go, I have a thing..." "Wow, look at the time...". Makes my sides hurt from laughing.
On occasion I read the Atlanta Journal, as this is the nearest thing to a newspaper where I live. Not much of one but it is the best I can do from a vending machine. In this newspaper there is a guy named Bill Husted, who writes about technology for the masses. He is actually pretty good at what he does, which is to explain very complex things in very simple terms for those of you who don’t know or don’t care enough about computers to learn any of it on their own.
http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/technobuddy/index.html
I couldn’t do it. It would be the same as working on a help desk. I can’t do stupidity. I know from reading his columns that he has explained Spyware at least a dozen times in the last 2 years.
Recently he had to stop recommending an excellent Spyware remover (Spybot- Search and Destroy) because so many people were so stupid they couldn’t differentiate between the real program at download.com and a knock off that actually plants Spyware with a very similar name.
Can you imagine the need to dumb down your average everyday life to meet the needs of the mass audience (read idiots) who couldn’t understand a simple phrase if they wanted to? “Ok, Billy, this is called a “KEY”, can you say KEY?” “It is used to turn on a switch in a car. It makes the car go vroooom, vroooom”. Geez, give me a break. Just say if you are too stupid to understand this, go ask a car salesman to explain it to you and give the rest of us who do care the real scoop on the information.
Or maybe , I should write a column for geeks…
-bigmike
I am a geek.
A full fledged over the top geek.
No pocket protector, no taped glasses, no high water pants and a bucketfull of attitude but a geek nonetheless.
I start talking about computers or technology to normal people and the conversation will turn to clock cycles or frame rates or Front side bus speeds and I can literally see the eyes of the person I am talking to glaze over right before my eyes. It is an amazing thing. Sometimes instead of being rude I will say something like "Have you heard about the new dual core processors?", and then count how many people look at their watch and literally figure out a way to run from the conversation. It is downright amazing ! "Love to talk to you about it , but I gotta go, I have a thing..." "Wow, look at the time...". Makes my sides hurt from laughing.
On occasion I read the Atlanta Journal, as this is the nearest thing to a newspaper where I live. Not much of one but it is the best I can do from a vending machine. In this newspaper there is a guy named Bill Husted, who writes about technology for the masses. He is actually pretty good at what he does, which is to explain very complex things in very simple terms for those of you who don’t know or don’t care enough about computers to learn any of it on their own.
http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/technobuddy/index.html
I couldn’t do it. It would be the same as working on a help desk. I can’t do stupidity. I know from reading his columns that he has explained Spyware at least a dozen times in the last 2 years.
Recently he had to stop recommending an excellent Spyware remover (Spybot- Search and Destroy) because so many people were so stupid they couldn’t differentiate between the real program at download.com and a knock off that actually plants Spyware with a very similar name.
Can you imagine the need to dumb down your average everyday life to meet the needs of the mass audience (read idiots) who couldn’t understand a simple phrase if they wanted to? “Ok, Billy, this is called a “KEY”, can you say KEY?” “It is used to turn on a switch in a car. It makes the car go vroooom, vroooom”. Geez, give me a break. Just say if you are too stupid to understand this, go ask a car salesman to explain it to you and give the rest of us who do care the real scoop on the information.
Or maybe , I should write a column for geeks…
-bigmike
Intrepreting Bushismns
In his weekly radio address President Bush said, "We do not create terrorism by fighting terrorism. The terrorists are at war against us because they hate everything America stands for, and because they know we stand in the way of their ambitions to take over the Middle East. We are fighting to stop them from taking over Iraq and turning that country into a safe haven that would be even more valuable than the one they lost in Afghanistan."
What he meant was :
We do not create terrorism by fighting terrorism.
-Don't start no crap and there won't be none.
The terrorists are at war against us because they hate everything America stands for, and because they know we stand in the way of their ambitions to take over the Middle East.
-They can't have our oil. Screw 'em, let 'em find their own.
We are fighting to stop them from taking over Iraq and turning that country into a safe haven that would be even more valuable than the one they lost in Afghanistan.
What he meant was :
We do not create terrorism by fighting terrorism.
-Don't start no crap and there won't be none.
The terrorists are at war against us because they hate everything America stands for, and because they know we stand in the way of their ambitions to take over the Middle East.
-They can't have our oil. Screw 'em, let 'em find their own.
We are fighting to stop them from taking over Iraq and turning that country into a safe haven that would be even more valuable than the one they lost in Afghanistan.
-We don't have a clue what to do next and the only people around here who did, have left.
-We'll just stay the course.
What a fabulous president he is.
So smart and erudite.
Such an astute politician.
So engaging, well respected for his intellect and so refined in his manner.
What a diplomat.
Hey Mabel, get me a beer willya?
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Why are gas prices so low you ask ?
You ask why gas prices are so low right now after a year at record levels? I mean why did the price of a barrel of oil go below $60 for the first time in 2 years?
First , lets get even simpler in examining this.
The price of a gallon of gas at the pump today has not much at all to do with the current price of a barrel of oil. Not much relevance there at all. You may think so because all the talking heads on the news channels. They report the price of oil so often that you'd think it was being pumped into your car.
Now ladies and gentlemen, here's a short lesson for you.
At any one point in time the USA has about 300 million gallons of oil on hand.
There is also about a 295 day supply of gasoline already refined.
See :
http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/dnav/pet/pet_sum_crdsnd_adc_mbbl_m.htm
If this is so, then the gas you are using was imported over 300 days ago in the form of oil at whatever the price was at that time. (We'll skip futures pricing for now.) Then that oil was refined into gasoline and all the products that come from oil. , again, most of this took place almost one year ago.
If this is true, then if the price of oil was say 50 dollars a year ago for one barrel of refinable oil, and it is all about market demand, then the price really should not go up on a gallon of gas until the higher priced oil they just bought is sold one year later, right?
WRONG.
We are capitalists pigs. There is money to be made. Give it a new name and call it supply induced pricing. When the price of oil goes up, and demand goes up, prices go up, even if the real supply is never affected and even if the oil reserve is never affected. What a racket.
Ronald Reagan called this supply side economics.
It’s the way big oil works.
Here is a couple of things to consider.
You ever wonder why the 4 gasoline stations on the corner near an interstate highway are always priced about the same? Does this have anything at all to do with the price of refining oil into gas? Gasoline is priced based on market competition and the level at which your brand is viewed. Generic is cheaper than premium. Sounds like cigarettes and is pretty much priced the same. Shell is higher than CITGO. Now after you have looked at stations near the interstate, go on into town. Single stations without close competition are priced at different levels than the interstate stores, even if it is the same brand owned by the same company.
If the price of gas has anything relevance to the cost of refining the oil, then stations owned by a single company would all be the same price right? Gas station managers are paid to survey and report their competition prices to their superiors and they adjust prices according to their sales strategies. One company I used to work for said “Our gallons are our gallons and their gallons are our gallons”. We would drive the price into the ground to be the lowest supplier on the street if we had to , in order to make the point we would not be undersold.
What does all of this have to do with the current drop in gas prices?
Is it supply?
If you look at the numbers, supply and imports as well as the strategic petroleum reserve haven’t changed enough to affect it.
Can’t be that.
Is it Katrina? According to the latest figures, only distribution was disrupted and then only for a week or so, until it was re-routed. Even if it was that, the re-routing only affected 3 states. Mississippi and Louisiana and Texas.
Can’t be that.
Is it oil prices? Not if it was imported 300 days ago. Can’t really be that either.
Hmmmmmmmm. I wonder what is dropping oil prices in late fall 2006?
In October ?
The month before November?
Gee, here is a thought.
Do you think maybe that big rich oil executives are maybe Republicans ?
Anybody know if there is an election coming up pretty soon? Nahhhhh, they wouldn’t think we are dumb enough to fall for that one are they?
First , lets get even simpler in examining this.
The price of a gallon of gas at the pump today has not much at all to do with the current price of a barrel of oil. Not much relevance there at all. You may think so because all the talking heads on the news channels. They report the price of oil so often that you'd think it was being pumped into your car.
Now ladies and gentlemen, here's a short lesson for you.
At any one point in time the USA has about 300 million gallons of oil on hand.
There is also about a 295 day supply of gasoline already refined.
See :
http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/dnav/pet/pet_sum_crdsnd_adc_mbbl_m.htm
If this is so, then the gas you are using was imported over 300 days ago in the form of oil at whatever the price was at that time. (We'll skip futures pricing for now.) Then that oil was refined into gasoline and all the products that come from oil. , again, most of this took place almost one year ago.
If this is true, then if the price of oil was say 50 dollars a year ago for one barrel of refinable oil, and it is all about market demand, then the price really should not go up on a gallon of gas until the higher priced oil they just bought is sold one year later, right?
WRONG.
We are capitalists pigs. There is money to be made. Give it a new name and call it supply induced pricing. When the price of oil goes up, and demand goes up, prices go up, even if the real supply is never affected and even if the oil reserve is never affected. What a racket.
Ronald Reagan called this supply side economics.
It’s the way big oil works.
Here is a couple of things to consider.
You ever wonder why the 4 gasoline stations on the corner near an interstate highway are always priced about the same? Does this have anything at all to do with the price of refining oil into gas? Gasoline is priced based on market competition and the level at which your brand is viewed. Generic is cheaper than premium. Sounds like cigarettes and is pretty much priced the same. Shell is higher than CITGO. Now after you have looked at stations near the interstate, go on into town. Single stations without close competition are priced at different levels than the interstate stores, even if it is the same brand owned by the same company.
If the price of gas has anything relevance to the cost of refining the oil, then stations owned by a single company would all be the same price right? Gas station managers are paid to survey and report their competition prices to their superiors and they adjust prices according to their sales strategies. One company I used to work for said “Our gallons are our gallons and their gallons are our gallons”. We would drive the price into the ground to be the lowest supplier on the street if we had to , in order to make the point we would not be undersold.
What does all of this have to do with the current drop in gas prices?
Is it supply?
If you look at the numbers, supply and imports as well as the strategic petroleum reserve haven’t changed enough to affect it.
Can’t be that.
Is it Katrina? According to the latest figures, only distribution was disrupted and then only for a week or so, until it was re-routed. Even if it was that, the re-routing only affected 3 states. Mississippi and Louisiana and Texas.
Can’t be that.
Is it oil prices? Not if it was imported 300 days ago. Can’t really be that either.
Hmmmmmmmm. I wonder what is dropping oil prices in late fall 2006?
In October ?
The month before November?
Gee, here is a thought.
Do you think maybe that big rich oil executives are maybe Republicans ?
Anybody know if there is an election coming up pretty soon? Nahhhhh, they wouldn’t think we are dumb enough to fall for that one are they?
Friday, September 29, 2006
Doctrine of the wise man
These are all quotes from a famous wise man. Can you guess who said these things ?
Look at the bottom for the answer. -Bigmike
A Wise Man Once Said ...
"Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."
"Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S was too strong."
"I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."
"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."
"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."
"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program"
"I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."
"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."
"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
- Ronald Reagan (did you get it right?)
Look at the bottom for the answer. -Bigmike
A Wise Man Once Said ...
"Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."
"Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S was too strong."
"I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."
"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."
"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."
"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program"
"I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."
"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."
"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."
- Ronald Reagan (did you get it right?)
More Internet chaff !
This stuff came from various emails I've gotten in the last wek. Pretty funny stuff if you ask me.- read on - Bigmike
RESTROOM SIGNS
Friends don't let friends
take home ugly men
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC
Fighting for peace is like
screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC
At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ
It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, AZ
Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT
If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York , New York.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives,
Washington , DC
Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA
~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~
A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
you're going to have trouble with it
Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Daddy Long Legs
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat, saying "Well, we're not having any of that broke back mountain shit in our backyard."
RESTROOM SIGNS
Friends don't let friends
take home ugly men
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC
Fighting for peace is like
screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC
At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ
It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, AZ
Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT
If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York , New York.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives,
Washington , DC
Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills , CA
~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~
A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
you're going to have trouble with it
Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Daddy Long Legs
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat, saying "Well, we're not having any of that broke back mountain shit in our backyard."
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
What is an American?
Go this off the internet a few weeks back.
Given the state of affairs in the middle east and the hype surrounding the extremists who say they want to kill "Americans" all the time , I thought this to be highly appropriate. It is a bit dated, although still on point in its content.
Enjoy.
Given the state of affairs in the middle east and the hype surrounding the extremists who say they want to kill "Americans" all the time , I thought this to be highly appropriate. It is a bit dated, although still on point in its content.
Enjoy.
"What is an American?"
Finally someone says it right !!!
You probably missed it in the rush of news in the past few months from Iraq, Afghanistan and the middle east in the past few months, however there is actually a report that says someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.
So an Australian dentist wrote the following to let everyone know what an American is, so they would know when they found one:
An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German,Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese,Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani, or Afghan.
You probably missed it in the rush of news in the past few months from Iraq, Afghanistan and the middle east in the past few months, however there is actually a report that says someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.
So an Australian dentist wrote the following to let everyone know what an American is, so they would know when they found one:
An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German,Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese,Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani, or Afghan.
An American may also be a Cherokee, Osage,Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.
An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.
An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.
An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.
An American is from the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person the pursuit of happiness.
An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need.When Afghanistan was overrun by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country.
An American is from the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person the pursuit of happiness.
An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need.When Afghanistan was overrun by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country.
As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan.
Americans welcome the best, the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best athletes. But they also welcome the least.The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty,welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.. Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families.
Americans welcome the best, the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best athletes. But they also welcome the least.The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty,welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.. Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families.
I've been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 other countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists. So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and every bloodthirsty tyrant in the history of the world.
In doing so you would just be killing yourself. Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.
Pass this around the World.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Marketing and the art of the sale !
OK. I'll be the first one to admit, in order to use the rest of this article as any basis for conversation, you are asking marketing genuises to not put their best product foot forward. They get paid to make you think you absolutely have to have their junk or their service and you will not be a fit human being without it.
Here's the issue as I see it.
Most Marketing is a big fat lie. They (ad agencies) call it sales techniques.
I call it lying to sell Junk.
It's not a stretch, it's not a fib, it's not a shading of the truth, it's a big fat lie.
Here's why I think like that.
Here's the issue as I see it.
Most Marketing is a big fat lie. They (ad agencies) call it sales techniques.
I call it lying to sell Junk.
It's not a stretch, it's not a fib, it's not a shading of the truth, it's a big fat lie.
Here's why I think like that.
- Yelling the name of a car or product or dealership 74 times in the course of a commercial along with the phone number, does not create urgency in the mind of the consumer. It does not create "impressions". It just invites the gullible to buy a product that they now cannot forget even if they wanted to. Similar to having a song stuck in your head.
- No one really has a shape anywhere remotely close to the shape of any supermodel or anywhere close the shape of any magazine model or porn star. Out of all the women I know, not one of them has ever spent $100,000 on the necessary plastic surgery it takes to create this illusion. The problem is that our daughters think they are "fat" when they don't look like some surgically enhanced, photoshopped, airbrushed version of the real person.
- It does not matter if you call in the next ten minutes or 10 hours. You'll still get the same deal as anybody else who calls in from their trailer park to order the junk they saw on the informercial at 3am. The technology does not exist which allows ad agencies to control call centers based on when a commercial ran in your time zone on your cable outlet. Also on a related note: If a commercial says "Wait, that's not all- we'll double your order, etc", then the crap you are ordering is not worth anywhere near their "value price" in the first place. When they say "that's a 75$ value", what they really means is we tried to sell it for 75$ and nobody would even come close to this junk for that price so we had to cut the price in half in order to sell it to you. Guess what? The markup is still more than 99%. Plastic caulk edgers can be made from any cool-whip lid for nothing. Molded plastic, while not free, is never worth more than a couple of cents by the time you see it on an infomercial.
- Just because it says "New and Improved" on the box, does not mean the product is new and improved. Most of the time, the packaging is what is new and improved. Anytime you see these words it really means that the manufacturer had to figure out a way to raise the price somehow, so they reduced the amount in the container by 1% and increased the price by 5%. Now, that is a new and improved box and a new and improved price , and the product is "Old and the same". Don't fall for that one either. Their is really no value in the words "Lifetime Guarantee" either, unless it is from one the three companies that will probably be around in ten years. If you buy a widget from "Aqueduct sales" with a lifetime guarantee, it will not help you when they go out of business 2 weeks from now. No company= No guarantee. Put the guarantee on a box and take a dump in it. You will then have a guaranteed box of crap.
- No One has ever ran through a meadow of three foot tall grass into their lovers arms. Too many stickers, burrs, insects, uneven ground and broken glass. Nobody ever runs through a meadow with freshly washed hair, only to have it get all hot and sweaty and need to be washed again to remove the junk in it from the sweat.
- The offer you saw advertised on TV at the car dealership has never been used or offered.. No one ever gets Cash back. The money is added and applied to the price of the car. There is no deal. the price of the car was increased by the amount of the incentive in most cases, Or they want a bigger down payment and have a higher interest rate than you want or the "bank" wants the payments extended longer, or you have to buy an extra warranty. There is no DEAL. There is no "Boss" in the back approving your car deal or purchase. The salesman went to the candy machine. They leave you sitting in the room with the door closed on purpose to make you sweat, to get you to be emotionally invested in the car. Walk away, fast. . Come back in an hour and ask if they are ready to really deal. You will get better results. Trust me
- No matter how cool it may look on TV, trust me, never and I mean never, dance your way down a NY city street looking at your shadow, while listening to your music device. It is an invitation to a mugging. And you will look stupid.
- A very low percentage of people who join the military (like less than one half of one percent) ever get to fly an airplane, command a large ship, fly a jet, fire a major weapon system, carry a cool sword and dress up in the cool blue uniform. Most of the time you join, you work your butt off doing mundane things, you wait and then you get out. Nobody ever climbs cool mountains all by themselves, flies a jet for the fun of it, or just applies to be a sub commander and walks right into the job. All of those jobs are taken by people who have dedicated their lives to being the best at their craft as they can be. You will peel potatoes and empty garbage cans just like you would be doing in your home town, only you will do it in Podunkviklle aboard a ship somewhere or on a remote base in a hostile country.
- There is not a product made on this planet that will get red kool aid out of white carpeting. No matter how many times Billy Mays says so, OXY-CLEAN or whatever junk anybody is selling on TV, the red stain is there to stay even if you had a towel and some of that crap ready as soon as you spilled it. The are only three methods for getting it out. One, the carpet must be treated with a stain blocker like scotchguard or something like it, Two, Cover it up with a throw rug (or try to bl;each it out and when the first two fails(and they will, believe me) , replace the carpet. Same for magic glue (yeah right), 50 machine washings, The last car polish you will ever need and any of the rest of the junk in this category. Two words. Barbie - Unrealistic. Two more words . GIJOE- Gay.
- A mop is a mop. A broom is a broom. A spray nozzle is a spray nozzle. Nothing they do to it and no color they make it will ever make it worth $19.99. Ever. Even if they say order in the next ten minutes and we'll double your order for free, keep in mind that they are selling a plastic broom handle, with plastic bristles for $10 each. It just ain't worth it. No air purifier is worth three easy payments of 69$. Why would you pay $300 for a fan ? A rubber tip on the end of a rubber broom don't make it worth $29.95
'Stars" and their problems
Lately, there has been a lot in the news about so-called "stars" and their associated problems.
- This one is getting divorced
- That one is in rehab for drug abuse (insert addiction here)
- This one has been arrested
- That one has a car accident
- This one drops (or almost drops) a baby
- That one had a motorcycle accident
Now, like anybody else, I feel somewhat sorry that people (in general) have problems. I am not a mean spirited person. Not one atomic piece of me has total ignorance of the problems in the word. But, and this is a big but, why should I care about what happens to some rich media created playboy or girl?
Some big contract athlete making way too much money has a problem and somehow I am supposed to need to pray for them to recover, get better or rediscover their center?
Give me a break.
I have my own set of problems, just like you do and because I am neither rich nor famous, no front page stories are written about me or anyone I (or you for that matter) know, when life beats the crap out of us.
Who cares? And why in the world should I give a moments thought to any of it.
There is no need to worry about "stars" and their problems.
Either they will figure it out, like we have to, or they will pay someone to figure it out for them. There is a luxury we don't have. My family doesn't have a team of lawyers at the ready waiting to solve our problems. I'll bet neither does yours.
In an era of hundred million dollar contracts for athletes and multimillion dollar contracts for movie stars, and 300 million dollar CEO's, I am supposed to waste a breath thinking about Ken Lay, or Ben Rothlisberger, or Jessica Simpson or Brittany Spears or any of them?
Not very damn likely. Michael Jackson will keep grabbing his crotch no matter what I do, his sister will keeep showing the world her boobs at every opportunity, OJ did get off, athletes are basically out of control all over the world and the flakes in Hollywood will be as flaky as ever and nothing I do or say will make one damn bit of difference to the outcome.
So who cares?
I didn't watch OJ, I could care less about the Enron or MCI executives and the stupid moron who rides the fastest motorcycle on the planet, without a helmet, is nothing more than a rich organ donor if you ask me.
You want to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for the families and victims of these idiots.
They are the ones that have to answer all the stupid questions. - bigmike
Thursday, June 15, 2006
And now ....the news !!!
This just in : (and these are actual uncredited news stories)
Somehow all of this junk qualifies as Top News on 06/15/2006. I don't get it.
None of this junk is news.
WARNING - If you are looking for real opinion or real facts in this post, you are wasting your time. There is satire and sarcasm in these stories, mostly supplied by me.
FYI- The satire is not factual, although, based on the content of the stories, it probably could be.
Somehow all of this junk qualifies as Top News on 06/15/2006. I don't get it.
None of this junk is news.
WARNING - If you are looking for real opinion or real facts in this post, you are wasting your time. There is satire and sarcasm in these stories, mostly supplied by me.
FYI- The satire is not factual, although, based on the content of the stories, it probably could be.
- President Bush makes fun of crippled reporter. Film at 11. (Go figure !!)
President Bush, who often teases members of the White House press corps, apologized Wednesday after he poked fun at a reporter for wearing sunglasses without realizing they were needed for vision loss.
It is reported that the President changed his nickname for the reporter from "Tall guy" to "Oopsiee". This has been unverified.
- George Washington is going to haunt a Starbucks?
The historic Maryland Inn, a fixture of Annapolis since the 18th century when George Washington was a customer, is likely getting a 21st-century Starbucks coffee shop.
It is reported that the Starbucks is being built at the request of the ghost of George Washington who is reported to have said " There is just no good way to get caffiene in here, because I am dead". This is also unverified.
- Funds for Iraq run low. The 20 billion given to Irag so far may run out within months.
Time and money are running out on the US-directed reconstruction effort in Iraq.
The main conduit for American rebuilding aid - the Iraq Relief and Reconstruction Fund (IRRF) - is scheduled to close at the end of this year. Almost all the cash Congress has allocated for the fund, some $20 billion in all, has been spent, or will be, in coming months.
A senior Iraqui official said on Wednesday that " We have done the best we could with the funds we were given. After all with the price of explosives being so high, it is very hard to stretch a dollar and make good IED's nowdays on the money of yesterday. Everything is more expensive that it was under Saddam. Even the avergae cost of a bribe to the ministry of wasting money is up 200 % since 2002". This is unverified as well.
Man, I am just so underwhelmed with the quality of reporting and the content of the news. No wonder most people under 25 think "The Daily Show - with Jon Stewart", is a real news show.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Scary Customer Service Facts
Here are some scary facts about what poor service can do to you or your business.
Knowledge is power !
Knowledge is power !
- Most business people think they have few dissatisfied customers because most do not complain.
- Think of your own record as a consumer and as a complainer. How often have you been dissatisfied with a product, a service, a meal in a restaurant, or a wait in line?
- How often have you complained to the management, the manufacturer, or the retailer?
- A recent study indicated that the average business never hears from 96 percent of its unhappy customers.
- While 96 percent of the unhappy customers do not complain to you, they do let off steam and spread their dissatisfaction with the product or service.
- They complain to other customers and potential customers -family, friends, associates at work and anyone else who will listen.
- They feel wronged and frustrated and want to talk about it.
- For every complaint received the average business has another 26 customers with problems, at least six of which are serious.
- Customers who have problems and complain are giving you a chance to keep their business.
- An unhappy customer cannot be kept quiet. However, you can regain their support-by solving complaints quickly.
- These customers may not only come back, but it will give them something positive to talk about.
- Surveys show that you can win back between 54 and 70 percent of these complainers by resolving their complaints.
- According to consumer surveys, a person who has had an unpleasant experience with a business will tell 9 or 10 other people.
- Approximately 13 percent will tell more than 20 other people.
- This negative word-of-mouth can be very harmful to a business.
- In today's complex marketplace more and more consumers are basing their purchasing decisions on the advice of people they know.
- Results indicate that up to 95 percent of this group will become loyal customers again if their complaints are handled well and promptly.
- An unhappy customer cannot be kept quiet, However, you can regain their support-by solving complaints quickly.
- These customers may not only come back, but it will give them something positive to talk about.
- It is 13 times more expensive to attract new customers than it is to keep your current ones !
A copy of these facts and more like them are at the University of Michigan Extension and can be found at : http://web1.msue.msu.edu/msue/imp/modtd/33209845.html
WE Love Wal-Mart because (let me count the ways)
This post is my anthem as to why I think Wal-Mart has lost their focus and is now nothing more than a big ole cash register, and that is all they seem to care about.
They are a money machine and a stock price, an ROI if you will. Nothing more and nothing less. The cha-ching is all that matters.
WE Love Wal-Mart because :
...Americans love to stand in long ass lines (on any typical night - not Christmas !)
...We love to be annoyed by the overhead speakers so loud and so frequent that you can't have a conversation with the person next to you
...We love the "bong bong " We're sorry ..security announcement and an old person pawing through our stuff to make sure we paid for it, because the security tag never gets de-activated by the over worked cashiers!
...We also love ignoring the announcement to see if the fat person at the door will get off her lazy butt and chase you down to your car and how many times they will yell "SIR" at you when you just don't respond to their screaming!!
...We love hearing the employees bitch about how rotten it is to work there because of the slavedriver management, and then also hear how they have "gotten them" with the latest scams to get even.
...We love to be treated rudely by red-shirted people who could give a crap less about those "annoying customers".
...We love to see one cashier for 35 check out lanes.
...We love to wait for 25 extra minutes at midnight because "The registers do this automatically, nothing we can do SIR !!!"
...We are thrilled with digging into a shipping crate 5 feet deep full of crappy DVD's in the middle of an aisle
...There is nothing better than dodging a cart full of speeding teenagers coming straight at you on Saturday night is there ?
...We need the exercise of dodging all the pallets and boxes stacked everywhere
...We like being run down by the stock people who move all the pallets and stock around
...We love arrogant managers. I like being told "I just don't understand".
...We love walking 5 acres back to our car after they locked the door we came in two hours ago, (and we stood in line for an hour of that time)
...We are thrilled to have a cashier tell us what we have to do with products that are bought and paid for
...We like being called "Sir" or "Ma'am" in the loudest voice possible by the fat person sitting on their butt at the door.
...We love standing in line (twice if you smoke) to get gigarettes in the 10 items or less line and then being told they won't ring up your other stuff because you have too many items in your cart, even though the only line you can buy them in is the 10 item or less line.
...Americans just adore a good stiff stupid corporate policy !!
and finally the number one reason we love Wal-Mart
...We adore playing "obstacle course" driving around the 500 shopping carts all over the parking lot while one scruffy teen-ager with a cart machine tries to wrangle them all with a cart machine 6 city blocks long.
What's not to love ? I mean 20 acres of shopping a whole afternoon killed and you get to experience a whole different culture in your own home town ?
They are a money machine and a stock price, an ROI if you will. Nothing more and nothing less. The cha-ching is all that matters.
WE Love Wal-Mart because :
...Americans love to stand in long ass lines (on any typical night - not Christmas !)
...We love to be annoyed by the overhead speakers so loud and so frequent that you can't have a conversation with the person next to you
...We love the "bong bong " We're sorry ..security announcement and an old person pawing through our stuff to make sure we paid for it, because the security tag never gets de-activated by the over worked cashiers!
...We also love ignoring the announcement to see if the fat person at the door will get off her lazy butt and chase you down to your car and how many times they will yell "SIR" at you when you just don't respond to their screaming!!
...We love hearing the employees bitch about how rotten it is to work there because of the slavedriver management, and then also hear how they have "gotten them" with the latest scams to get even.
...We love to be treated rudely by red-shirted people who could give a crap less about those "annoying customers".
...We love to see one cashier for 35 check out lanes.
...We love to wait for 25 extra minutes at midnight because "The registers do this automatically, nothing we can do SIR !!!"
...We are thrilled with digging into a shipping crate 5 feet deep full of crappy DVD's in the middle of an aisle
...There is nothing better than dodging a cart full of speeding teenagers coming straight at you on Saturday night is there ?
...We need the exercise of dodging all the pallets and boxes stacked everywhere
...We like being run down by the stock people who move all the pallets and stock around
...We love arrogant managers. I like being told "I just don't understand".
...We love walking 5 acres back to our car after they locked the door we came in two hours ago, (and we stood in line for an hour of that time)
...We are thrilled to have a cashier tell us what we have to do with products that are bought and paid for
...We like being called "Sir" or "Ma'am" in the loudest voice possible by the fat person sitting on their butt at the door.
...We love standing in line (twice if you smoke) to get gigarettes in the 10 items or less line and then being told they won't ring up your other stuff because you have too many items in your cart, even though the only line you can buy them in is the 10 item or less line.
...Americans just adore a good stiff stupid corporate policy !!
and finally the number one reason we love Wal-Mart
...We adore playing "obstacle course" driving around the 500 shopping carts all over the parking lot while one scruffy teen-ager with a cart machine tries to wrangle them all with a cart machine 6 city blocks long.
What's not to love ? I mean 20 acres of shopping a whole afternoon killed and you get to experience a whole different culture in your own home town ?
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