Hi there, How are ya? I'm gonna catch hell for today's post glad you are here to witness my flagellation.
In general and not every single one, but in General, Teenaged children are stupid. They get better over time usually but just as soon as you can say that word -teen after their age and sometimes a year or two prior to that you have to start dealing with weird, borderline stupid behavior. I mean no disrespect to anyone directly and I include myself in this damning portrayal, but in my experience in raising children into adults and fostering everybody else's kids into human beings, I have found teenagers to be ridiculous people. Like I said, I mean no intended disrespect and maybe it is just as nature had intended but man oh man was getting children from the age of about 12 to about the age of 18 a major pain in the ass.
I mean, don't get me wrong however I think I learned more about myself in the period of time and what lengths I was willing to go to in order to get things accomplished and preserve the peace at the same time, however, some of the dumbest things I have ever had to do were usually associated with one of my children somewhere in these age ranges. It was a magnificent time though. I never felt more needed and never felt more tested than when I had to figure out the physics and the dynamics of a crash scene where the deer jumped into the roadway, or where the big yellow parking pole magically turned into a big yellow car, or in consoling a teen who has just blasted backward into a mailbox or when another one hit a deer. They were trying times, and they were scary times and everybody made it out the other side alive. Usually, the whole thing was stupid though.
Girls seemed to be able to get through the dumbass phase a little quicker though I think. Or in my family it seemed that way, They still did dumb shit, but it seemed to happen less frequently and seemed to be lessons learned a lot faster with a lot fewer repeats. Maybe its because that is how I remembered it, maybe it happened that way I do not remember. I am old as you know. Girls just seem to want to learn the ropes quicker. They want to learn needed skills quicker, and it wasn't just to please mom either. I mean I hated it when all of my girls discovered the attraction of boys, but watching them apply their makeup when they were just getting started was a pleasure in itself. Who hasn't wondered at the vision of a 10-year-old with a perfect blended round mask of makeup they applied all by themselves (even before they were allowed to wear it), that ended at the edge of the ears, didn't get into their hairline and never went under the chin? It was great. Waking up in the large recliner after a nap with all of your fingernails and toenails painted in several colors was one of the joys of my life. I even wore the toenails to work like that because who the hell had time to remove it. Damn it, Kelley Ann!!
Either way, boys or girls, just about everyone I have ever talked to about this subject has remarked about it in one way or another. We all have the learning to drive stories, although I don't know how many people could say they actually watched their daughter explode into a huge rose bush while driving a hot rod go-cart at 35 miles per hour. I taught 3 of 4 of my children how to drive and just didn't have the nerves to teach my son David. LaDonna had to teach him to drive, as his caution and two-footed use of the brake and gas pedal and the speed up slow down was just too much for my heart. I figured since he drove then just like his mother always has that she could have the pleasure of driving him around. I made sure to temporarily increase both of their life insurance policies and said have at it. Actually, that's a lie, I didn't say anything except don't wreck my car.
Turns out I should have said that one to my oldest son but that's another story for another day. That's the story of the submarine enabled Mitsubishi Diamante`.
Girls just seem to want to grow up faster, and I knew then and know that it sucks to watch them develop into adults. Who wants to lose their little girls? One of mine is turning 40 years old this month and she is still my little girl, It's tough to let go. You really never do I guess. Girls want to learn to do their own hair, to do their makeup to pick their own clothes, and over time your role as a parent is just to make sure they have clothes on when they go out. I really never had the problem of an immodest female child, now my oldest daughter has that problem, and its all her fault. HA! Good luck with that.
Boys do everything that is humanly possible to avoid bathing and changing into clean clothes. They will wear the same clothes for weeks if you let them because it is their "favorite shirt" or some such nonsense. Really it is because they are just lazy and are too lazy to admit it. They will take the right amount of time in the shower, will get out of the bathroom with their hair wet, will have a wet towel, and will have put a scientific amount of effort in the appearance of having taken a proper bath. The effort a child will put into making you think they took a shower is in direct proportion to the amount of effort they think you will expend into finding out if they did or not. It's amazing.
I always had dad shower kid duty, and to my recollection, it very rarely had anything to do with the female children. They bathed and used all the soap, all the hot water, and every towel in the house but they bathed. I had to be Columbo and ask a bunch of dumbass questions that inevitably led you to believe your male child committed a crime, before sending them back to the shower to get clean this time. It usually went something like this. "So you took a proper shower huh?, "Yes sir". "So tell me then, why is your hair not squeaky clean/", "I don't know, maybe my hair doesn't squeak", "It squeaked yesterday when it was clean, do you remember", "Yes sir", "Is your hair different hair than it was yesterday?", "No sir", moving on, "Well then, we have non-squeaky hair and another problem.", "What problem is that?", "You have world-class funk rolling off of you.", " Pardon me?", "You stink", " I do?", "You do", "Did you bathe?", "Yes sir", "With soap and did you use a washcloth or a scrubber thing?", "I think so", "You think so, do you know you did or not", "I can't remember", because not remembering was a hedge and you could hedge but you absolutely could not lie because getting your wet ass beat for lying hurt, so moving on, "Ok, so we have non-squeaky hair, rolling thunder funk coming off of you, no evidence of soap and the washcloth in the bathroom you think you used?", "Yes, sir", "It's dry and so is the scrubber", "Oh", "Oh is all you have to say?", "Yes sir", "So, let's address the last point I want to make shall we?", "Ok", "If you showered and if you used soap, and if you used a washcloth, and if you washed your hair and it is just not squeaky today even though it is squeaky every other day I have one more observation", "What's that", "What is this line of black grimy sludge all the way around your neck in every wrinkle and crevice you have on your entire face, and in your hair and all over the back of your arms and etc?", "Oh, I might have missed a spot", "You think?".
Then I had to give the shower speech. "Please child, go back into the shower, turn on the hot water if there is any, and I don't actually care if there is any you can shower in totally cold water for all I care, this time use shampoo and wash your hair, scrub your filthy neck, use the (detailed instructions now because at this point I ain't leaving anything to chance) washcloth and scrubber on your other dirt-encrusted parts including your face and scalp and arms and legs and everywhere else and one more thing.", "What's that?", "If I so much as see one tiny speck of dirt on you when you come out of that shower this time, your ass is going to be as red as fire, you got me, Einstein?. "Yes, sir".
And the child that would emerge from that shower would be so clean he would glow. That's why we began showers 2 hours before bedtime because I knew my children. The girls caught on to think really quickly, in like one day they understood. The boys? Not so much.
Like I said Boys are slower and children, in general, are stupid.
After a while, with the girls, the question was not did you bathe? Because of course, they did, they love bubble baths and showers and hair junk and makeup and all the frilly crap you could buy spending the last dollar you had in your pocket. The question for them was did you use all the hot water, did you use every towel in the house, Is there any shampoo or body soap left for anyone else to use? Right about 13 or 14 is when you figure out you better buy a separate family-sized container for the family and an equal amount and size for every girl you have. The formula is something like ( # of people in the family - girls = WHAT TO BUY ), and the formula for buying for girls was (If Girls exist in the family, THEN buy big amounts of all the SHIT). That's how it works.
Once everyone actually had a shower or bubble bath depending upon the age, in general, the boys would get their clothes but never pick up towels or wipe up the water. They usually got their clothes because they didn't want anyone to see their poop stains in their underwear. Sometimes it didn't matter but the majority of the time that's how it was. After a sloppy female child, however? Wet Towel tornadoes! Towels, clothes, washcloths, bottlers of open goop hair and skin everywhere, hair care junk laying everywhere, blow dryers, brushes, toothpaste, I mean MAN! They can make an absolute mess and then make you believe that even though they were in bed and mostly asleep, they were going to come back and clean it up. Uh-huh. With boys, they didn't even want to be in the room so with them, they would sling water everywhere. I think that was the camouflage attempt to make you think they cleaned themselves. I'm not sure. I am really surprised we never had to remodel a bathroom because the floor fell in from the water damage.
Now that everyone is grown up and there are only the three of us, everyone has their own bathrooms so to speak and mine is the dirtiest, but only because they never clean it. I never shower in there, are you kidding > It's disgusting in there! The cleanest bathroom belongs to the child, of course. Go Figure.
I would not want to be a big city Mayor right now.
- The Mayor of Atlanta has created a situation and it is of her own making, that by attacking the integrity of the entire police department and its officers and acting outside of official review channels, she has turned the Police against her. For the 2nd day in a row, most and I mean a high majority, of the entire department has called in sick, too ill to report for duty and police their districts. They call it a "Blu-Flu" and I have to tell you, I do not blame them one bit. They are protesting the actions of a corrupt D.A. and her own actions taken by dismissing officers before any investigation was completed.
They deserve what they are getting. Good Luck Atlanta and Fulton County. We hope you are happy with your shoddy and corrupt leadership. - Trump to Xi Ping ---> "Help me! To make sure I win." ( Effin Wow!)
John Bolton's book. Confirmed too. - Cancel Culture is getting really cancelley. Speaker Pelosi has removed all the confederate leaders of the house of Representative's portraits from the official portraits room where they were on display.
She's a piece of work. - I've yet to see a District Attorney as corrupt as this Paul Howard Jr. guy. Apparently, it is ok to charge someone without an investigation if it distracts from your own investigation of your criminal activities. The grand jury is actually necessary to charge and indict these police officers and because of the Covid-19 pandemic they don't even meet again until October, but he is going ahead anyway.
What's his face going to look like if they refuse to indict? He has bypassed every normal pathway to prosecution in his rush to judgment, they say a D.A. could get a Grand Jury to indict a Ham sandwich if he so desired, but I would love to see this guy lose in every way possible. It is just so much bogus bullshit. - US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts appears to be the new swing vote on the Supreme Court after the court has handed Trump two losses in a row on LGBTQ and DACA.
It couldn't happen at a better time.
BigMike
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