You can never tell what exactly what subject I'm going to write about next. My brain is a mess with regard to the way it flits from topic to topic. It's always been this way. I can focus when I need to or want to but left untethered it can go anywhere it wants to.
I have always been a very curious sort in one way or the other. Some people would say I am an acquired taste, meaning I think that you learn to tolerate me over time when you figure out my good personality quirks begin to overwhelm my weird ones. I'm one of those guys who usually always know how I am perceived by the world around me, but usually, only after the fact, once someone has made the "who farted" face and I have had a moment to realize that they are talking about me.
For example, as a child one of the things I learned to love and how I expanded my horizons was when I was allowed to walk down the street to the on-base public library. If I wasn't grounded or in trouble, sometimes I was allowed to walk the three blocks to the library all by myself, where I would spend the next couple of hours lost in a land of space explorations and inventors and other science giants like Edison, Einstein, and Tesla or reading The Hardy Boys, and Tom Swift.
You do know that's where he name for the taser comes from? From a child's book? The Taser is named that as an homage to Thomas A. Swift and His Electronic Rifle (T.A.S.E.R.). One of the millions of useless factoids I have bouncing around inside my noggin on the high speed 35 mm slide projector. If you don't get what you want, don't worry, It'll be back in a minute or two. WHOOSH--->
My mother took the time, usually every day to instill in me the love of reading. I had my own mini-encyclopedias that I saved up and helped to pay for, I had several book series as a kid including a Ton of Boys life magazines, just about the complete set of the Hardy Boys and the Tom Swift series and we also had a lot of Time magazines, the special editions, National Geographics, Look Magazines and etc. I just couldn't get enough.
My mother knew I loved to read and she also threw in a little Chaucer and Shakespeare for good measure. I remember once as an underclass book project in a reading comprehension class we had to read a substantial sized book and then report on it. I remember getting the A after arguments from the teacher and between my mother and the teacher that there was no way in Hell I read Tolstoy's War and Peace, but I did. I struggled with the names a little but I did it. Then I had to prove it, that teacher was so mad at me because she made an error and I made her look bad by reciting long theories about how I interpreted the book. She wanted to kick my ass over it because she was sure I somehow cheated, but I didn't. Making her look stupid was pretty fun though. I should not have done that,. but she deserved it for showing me her hand before she tried to set me up. Ah well, at least she wasn't Mrs. Waugh, that lady hated my guts. I don't blame her, I didn't like her much either.
One of my earliest memories is her laying on the floor above me while I was spread out in front of a newspaper on the floor while I went through and read every article. I loved it, got Mom's attention, no other kid in our house wanted it that much because my brothers, the scam artists, they were always trying to get away with something. Not me, Mom had the knowledge I wanted and those buttholes wouldn't teach me so I scammed I mean begged mom to teach me to read before I even started school. It was great because the whole world was in a book, the world I would never see from inside the second story of a military housing window. I think I was about 5 years old, right before the start of kindergarten, when I was already reading, doing some writing, and basic addition and subtraction. It wasn't that hard I didn't think.
Later on, I think about 3rd or 4th grade I remember we had one of those parent-teacher nights where your parents get to go see your classroom, they get to rummage through your desk to see if you have anything of their at school and go around the room and look at your papers and whatnot that were on the walls. I remember my teacher told my mother what a joy it was to have such a smart little boy such as Michael in her class and she was so happy to report that he was such a great student. My Mom was getting ready to acknowledge her when she, in the next breath said and I'm so sorry to hear about Michael's younger brother (Sorry Geo), because as Michael tells it, he is a special child, because he is retarded. He can't read or write or really do anything academic.
My Mother about blew a fuse, her face turned beet red, she puffed up in her best 1960s Mama look and I'm tellin ya she was AGHAST! I think that's the word. She turned and looked at me and said go wait in the hall. My ass already hurt as I was walking towards the hall. Then she talked with the teacher for a few more minutes and explained to the teacher that George was most definitely NOT RETARDED, as he was only 5 years old and was in his first few months of kindergarten and was developing normally as any 5 years old could be expected. Then I and My Mother walked back home.
We walked quickly, quietly, and with intensity.
I have to tell you that was the longest, quietest, scariest walk I ever took in my whole life.
I know exactly how the guys must feel that had to walk the plank.
When we walked in the front door my Dad had gotten home from work and said how did it go. She said you would be proud of your son, he is getting all gold stars, and all straight A's and his little brother is a retard. Now Clyde (My Dad) "take him upstairs and whack his ass three whacks".
Dad said to "c'mon boy" because even Dad didn't argue with Mom. He did make me tell him what happened and he laughed his ass off but he still whacked me three times while laughing. It still hurt but wasn't as bad as it could have been.
Sorry again Geo. Not one of my best moments. Makes a good story though.
She told me later that I had to go and explain to my teacher how wrong I was and I had to set the story straight. I asked her if she hadn't already done that and she told me yes, from her point of view, but I was responsible and accountable to fix my own mistakes. So I had to go in and talk to the teacher and apologize for what I had done, and once she explained it to me I even understood it. Hell I was 9 years old, how was I supposed to know that 5-year-old didn't normally read and write, I mean I did so I naturally assumed if you didn't you must be slow or something. That was a pattern set in place long ago. It is when I learned that I was responsible for me and only I was accountable to fix my own mistakes.
I have had to do a lot of that over the years because although I am good with words and numbers and analysis, I'm not really worth a damn at people, feelings, and nuance. I blow that up a lot. I still catch myself explaining to my wife usually, that what I just said was not what I was trying to say not exactly. I finally get it out but sometimes I have to wipe it off of the front of my shirt first. It goes with the territory of who I am I guess. I never had a hard time learning in school and factually spent a lot of time in trouble because I was bored a lot of the time and my mother would not let me skip a grade, I asked, she said no, end of the story.
I really didn't care though because older girls were scary anyway.
Lack of mental challenge has gotten me in more trouble in my life than anything else. It's why I have had 150 hobbies, I learn them and then get bored again. Well, lack of challenge and the fact that the academic system moves so god awful slow it would make me want to lick the classroom floor for fun. I would bet gored waiting on everybody else to catch up and that's when the trouble usually started. One of these days I'll tell you how I spent most of my sophomore Math Class being taught by the Dean of Boys, Mr. Dwenger, who was also the football coach and a calculus teacher.
Now that was fun! But the story of how I ended up there was not so fun until it was. Eventually.
- The supreme court has now sided with LGBTQ people and you can now get Married on Friday and not get Fired on Monday.
- They have also decided NOT to wade into gun control this term at all. Even the stupid NJ laws didn't get a review. Damn.
- Walmart is testing a Millenial store, meaning a store where they will have no cashiers available at all. SUCKS/HATE IT/STUPID/ DUMBASS IDEA.
- Ford motors in unveiling a new Bronco model on OJ Simpson's birthday. No Kidding.
- Three NYPD cops were taken to the hospital after buying and consuming shakes that had bleach in them. An investigation is continuing.
How much you wanna bet it was somebody that makes milkshakes?
BigMike
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