Living in the suck

June 26th, 2020 at 5:00 a.m.and it is FRIDAY!! Whatever it is just another stupid day

Confirmation of the existence of a rotating mass of the magnetic iron core particles and deflection of the coronal ejection of solar material will commence at 6:28 a.m. est. Be prepared.

I have the dubious pleasure of telling you that all of my scans came back negative, That is they didn't find anything worth talking about so far. That is good I suppose because more talking is bad and it is more co-payments and more bills for stupid crap I don't want to talk about anyway. All of my lab tests came back at normal or better levels, even my A1C was better for the 5th time in a row. Everything is just hunky frickin dory. Well except for the formation of the bony structures in my back and the facets that surround them. Those are fubared but everything else is within normal parameters as Data from Star Trek used to say.

I'm still fat, I still have CMT type 2, still can't walk or run at all and still have diabetes but not as bad as it could be. The only thing that really bothers me is the fact that I can't stand for more than 2 or 3 minutes and can't walk more than 25-30 feet without pain. If I could figure out how to fix that part I could ignore the prostate cancer diagnosis altogether and go back to being a teenaged cheerleader. Yay rah, sis boom bah.

I have been thinking about writing a book of some sort. I am not sure what topic or genre it would be but my brother and I have been talking about doing that for some time. The thing is it doesn't appear to be something that you can just go do. You need to have a plan and a topic or a genre, then you have to decide a style. For example, is it going to be a story that is fact-based or fiction or biographical in nature or what? They say you cannot worry about whether it sells copies or not, because that is the function of the marketplace, but one wonders what would be the point of the exercise if one wrote a tome that blew chunks? It is hard to imagine why anyone would want to read a book that sucked.

I know when I am reading a book, especially a new author, I have certain expectations. The story has to move along and it has to have a little zip. It can't be a lazy rip off of something else. I won't even make it out of the first chapter if it is some slow-moving, borning epic adventure about some pointless balloon ride that bores the crap out of me. I mean it doesn't have to be car crashes and explosions every two pages, but if it is boring? Boom, throw it across the room to the trash can pile and forget that crap! Life is too short to read shitty books.

My wife finds that to be a humorous proposition. She has found some very good stories with very good content that took a little while to get going in my discard pile. I'm not always right, I just get bored quick so you better capture me or I am GONE.

So anyway, the decision about what to write about starts the thought process. Then I think who the hell would want to read anything I publish? I mean I have friends and associates numbering in the low ones who may pick it up, but after that why would anyone want to read a story written about the life experiences of some ex-burger manager ex-truck driver weird philosopher dude? It seems a little preposterous to me and I have a hard time wrapping my head around it. I mean, I have a following of about maybe 20 people that check in on me here and read what I write on my blog, but I do not think that is the same thing at all. Developing a fan base of people who want to read what you have to say because it is interesting and might be a good purchase seems like a far off distant kind of Steven King-ish abject negative reality, ya dig?

Occasionally I see things in the news or on Facebook or other social media and I think to myself, WTF did I just read? So I go back and read it again, this time weirdly focusing on the story content whatever it was. Sometimes that gets me motivated to express my opinion on my blog and I'll bang out some 30 paragraphs required reading sort of triangulated nonsense that doesn't make very much of a difference whether I wrote it or not. That is what happens to most of the stuff I write about, its time you will never recapture and I've just helped you to waste it. A very good friend of mine told me "If you don't grab me in the first 2 paragraphs, I'm gone." Of course, He also said he won't read anything over 2 paragraphs, so there is that.

I once watched a work crew cut down a big tree next to a highway and they dropped it expertly and exactly where they were trying to drop it. That fact that I stood there for 20 minutes while they did it made exactly no difference in the outcome, but I felt better seeing the conclusion of the action I saw from beginning to end. Same sort of thing with reading my stuff. Its an opinion, it is about stuff whether you agree or not is immaterial and it takes some time to slog through it. That's the same way I feel about potentially writing books. I understand the how and the who and the where. I can't figure out the WHY or the WHAT.

Does that make sense to anybody else?
BigMike