Man, I used to be so hard to get awake in the morning and look at my happy ass now,
Yesterday I was talking about the celebrities I had met. In reading through that this morning to me it sounded like a bunch of bragging. Sorry if it came off like that because that wasn't my intent. I was just basically remarking on how easy it was to run into them back in the day especially if you were trying to. I was known as sort of a run around guy back then, always up for a little road trip of a sort. There were different guys I hung out with that would do various things just to see if we could get away with it. One of my favorite things to do was ride motorcycles with this larger than life character that I worked for and then worked with and then as peers named Norman. He had a Honda 350 Dream and I owned a Suzuki T/S street dirt bike I bought from my buddy Sheryl.
Neither bike was anything expensive or top of the line, they were just two-wheeled vehicles. We called him Stormin' Norman because he was the type of guy that just filled a room. He had a personality that you could not ignore, had an infectious laugh, and a stare that would stop you in your tracks. He had this way of making his eyeballs sort of bulge out that was intimidating and if he was using it on somebody else it was funny as hell.
One day he and I rode our motorcycles down to Monument Circle, parked right in front of the Columbia Club, where he barked at the doorman to watch our "rides". Then he strode right up to the front door, put his eyeball stare on the guy and said something like, "Well, you gonna open the door or not?". You had to be a member to get into this place, especially if you thought you were going to eat. Norman, looked sideways at me and just said "Follow my lead". They started to say something to us about the way were dressed or some such clever wording and he just put the withering stare on them and in his indignant, outrageous and very loud way started just giving them the Stormin Norman dialogue as only he could about how he couldn't believe they didn't know who he was and he was getting right on the phone with his agent and telling him to direct everyone to put this place on their do not come to a place and etc etc etc, and pretty soon wouldn't you know it, we had a table and a waiter assigned to us and drinks. That was a day with Norman, he could bullshit his way into anything. When the bill came, he grabbed the check, signed it, said put it on my bill to the server, and were very quickly skedaddled out of the place.
Nobody ever paid for that lunch as far as I ever knew. Damn, I'm a criminal.
I also met more local celebrities I didn't get a chance to talk about yesterday. The reason we got to meet Marvin Hagler was that my brother was a car salesman at Eastgate Chrysler for a little bit and I overheard Marvin talking to another person on the lot (He used to do commercials for them), about how he needed to get somebody to install some carpet for his mother. I introduced myself and handed him the business card of the guy I was working with who was a floor installer. We ended up doing some floor work in his whole family's houses before it was over with. He is a very normal, very nice guy that could punch you into a different dimension if you provoked him. I never did.
I used to spend a lot of time volunteering in varying capacities with the Muscular Dystrophy Association (The MDA) during their annual Jerry Lewis sponsored labor day telethons. I answered phones, ran an adding machine, took notes of what happened at what time on the broadcast, answered any and all of the nondonor questions that people would call in with ("If I donate $100 can I get to speak directly with Jerry Lewis?, "Probably not ma'am as he is very busy and his time is already spoken for." ) The truth was, we were in Indianapolis and he was in Las Vegas and there was no way for us to reach him even if we wanted to, but the policy was to never be negative with donors.
So one year during the evening hours in between the segments when the local station was not on the air, I went to the bathroom and ran into both Bob and Tom at the same time. I just said hello and did my business and left. They were nice and polite and were talking to each other and nothing else occurred in the bathroom. Later on, when they were prepping for their segment, Bob spotted me at the end of the phone bank and walked down to me looked right at me, and said "Ham and Cheese man, amiright?". I was floored. He knew me from a comedy club and from one of my 1-minute emcee appearances and remembered my most favorite and often used stupid jokes. Nothing ever came of that and I didn't get a record contract, but I did get a huge story out of it.
I waited on a local DJ named Jimmy "Mad Dog" Madis several times on the counter at the Franklin road Steak `n Shake I ran for several years. He was a very funny man and a very nice guy. I was also usually working when Sandy Allen, (the world's tallest woman) came in to eat with us on several occasions. She could make you laugh at the drop of a hat.
My very good friend Jackie also reminded me that the late, great comedian Sam Kinison used to visit our store. Jackie said yesterday on the Facebook comments section, " I recall the time at Sam Kinison and his group came in Franklin Road. He asked me if I would shut down six and seven (sections in the dining room) for them and make sure nobody bothers them, I did as I was asked, he seemed like a really nice guy, nothing at all like the crazy comedian that screamed all the time. They were really easy to take care of too. I made good money that day! I also recall meeting the coach for the Pacers. Larry Brown came to the drive-thru and I’ve got Tony an autograph. He thought that was the coolest thing ever..wow I haven’t thought about that in a while... nice memories!!" That was life in that store, you never knew who was going to pop through the door. Sam came in several times after that.
I wanted to be a comedian once in the grand scheme of things until I discovered that in order to be a comedian you first had to be totally broke. You had to starve and had to either always perform local gigs, or you had to be able to endure lots and lots of nights on the road with more crappy food than you could stomach. I was a married man with one small child at the time, so broke, starving, always gone Daddy wasn't gonna work. I did meet a lot of interesting people along the way though. My favorite all-time hands-down nicest guy was Tim Wilson. He was a superstar and he drank coffee just like you and me. I was tearing up sad the day I learned he had died. Right behind him on the list was Bob Zany and Robert Schimmel. Only Zany is still alive.
Bring it on the goofier the better
- The Wisconsin supreme court has struck down the Wisconsin Governors extension of his original stay at home order. They were allegedly OK with the original order and found he had the authority to issue the primary proclamation but found he had overstepped his authority by attempting to extend it. His original order was issued in March, he extended it in late April and then the Republicans sued him saying to extend his original order took legislative authority.
The logic escapes me but hey whatever they want to do, who needs Wisconsites huh? So according to the Republicans, his original order issued in March could have had any end date he put on it (although I'm not clear on the intricacies of the law), but he lacked authority to extend his original order. The stay at home order remains in place until May the 20th and I am just confused as all shit. - According to the proclamations issued by the WHO -The World Health Organization (I think it was, but to be honest I do not remember where this came from exactly so I'm gonna blame them), these three states will probably have 2 lockdown periods due to their track records and upcoming infection rates. Texas will have targeted lockdowns (or should have), Kentucky is going to see a 2nd run of the course of this monster bigger than the first and good old Georgia is going to be right behind them.
Damn it boy. - (Shhhh, first world rant upcoming ) - I'm getting sick of my Dish TV receiver, this Hopper piece of crap. It will not maintain a network connection worth a crap. I don't care if it is wired or wireless, 1GB or DSL speed, a dedicated IP address or one assigned by the router, it just drops off every hour or so. Makes every other receiver in the house unable to watch on-demand and also makes me have to stop, get up and go fix the damn thing, AGAIN. The maddening thing is when you call them, and the first-grader who answers the phone and, takes you through their checklist, again for the 20th time, then elevates you to the technical department, who then tells you it's working NOW and there is not much they can do if I have already fixed it.
See here's the thing, If it wasn't working they could not examine the hopper remotely because the connection would be down. So in order to see the hopper guess what? That's right I would have to reestablish connectivity. I hate the friggin runaround. - Paul Manafort has gotten out of jail on CoronaVirus compassion concerns. He is on home arrest. Go figure.
- I watch a lot of home remodeling shows on TV. Some of them like that one with the blonde chick Christina whatever her name is who divorced her California husband and they then gave her her own show, Yeah can't stand her or her Husband Tarik whatever his name is. Can't watch the Lottery dream show, don't like House hunters at all, either version. Love the chick from Detroit except for her obsession with beadboard and subway tile. That I don't get.
We watched just about every episode of Fixer Upper with Chip and Joanna Gaines. Love that show. I hope they are as down-home with their kids as they seem to be, although I don't think I would want to get on Joanna's bad side. She looks like the type that would chew your butt up and spit you out if you did her or her company or family wrong.
My favorite of all the shows is just about anything produced or sone by the Holmes Group. There have been several iterations of their brand and I liked all of them. I didn't really watch the ones where Mike Senior helped people to buy a new house but hey! Whatever works I guess. The shows they did from California and from New Orleans were compelling TV was must-watch TV, although to this day I am still sorry that the girl Pinky left the show. She was pretty cool.
I have heard and understand all the criticisms. Trust me I totally get it. Noone could afford to build houses like the ones he picks to repair. No One could afford to do all the upgrades he proposes, like pink wood, the blue drywall, spray foam insulation, and the like. I get it. It's hugely expensive. I would bet money the resale value of the homes are improved significantly because of the investment but, and this is a big but, you have to come up with upfront money to pay for the upgrades too. I get that he gets a lot of sponsor money, that the Canadian government foots an awful lot of the costs too. But wouldn't it be cool to have On Demand water heaters, PEX water lines, HRV's, HEPA filters, Spray Foam Insulation, Mold resistant drywall, Fire resistant wood framing, whole house electrical lightning resistance, sound deadening bat Insulation between bedrooms, heated floors on the bathrooms and the list goes on and on and on. All of it would be cool and If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to hire him and Frank to redo my entire house.
Wouldn't you love to say with confidence;
Take it all down, we're redoing it from scratch,
BigMike
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