We are a nation of sheep following a herd of lemmings who are defined by and are in love with the sound bite. Its the fall of another political season and the politicians are in full swing with TV ads, billboards, radio spots and newspaper stories.
You ever wonder why we put up with this crap? In the next 30 days a virtual storm of political ads will be seen by every television owner in the USA an average of 18 times per day. Most importantly they are in full swing with the empty “If elected….” promises.
We being the operative word here. “We the people” who are exposed to the lies and the half truths and the deceit that is the norm in this type of advertising that they think is important to get elected.
In my opinion the reason we put up with it has nothing to do with your political affiliation. It has nothing to do with your sensibility or with your ability to reason or with your politics.
It also has nothing in common at all with your values or your social status or your version of the American dream.
Hell, it probably has nothing to do with your social status or how much money you earn.
Pretty strong words here however , I think the reason we put up with negative political attack ads , is about the same reason we do not have a long term strategy (as a country) about how to really fix social security or demand that Congress fix the budgets or get really pissed that they spend money on ludicrous things like research that has no value.
Its about the same thing as always voting a straight political ticket or protesting where the latest trash dump is going (but only if it is anywhere near your own house).
We are a nation accustomed to creature comfort and in love with apathy. We adore passing the buck. We like to bitch and moan but really have no stomach for the work involved in doing the job. We are zealous about our condemnation of the “enemy “, and are absolutely thrilled to have somebody else define who the enemy is for us. We don’t care who goes broke as long as its not us and we can solve every problem we would ever possibly have if we could only win the lottery.
We are a bunch of fat lazy slobs who don’t pick up their own clothes if we don’t have to and we would rather know the latest gossip about Madonna or Brittany Spears than have our collective brains injured thinking about real problems in the society we live in.
We need Oprah to tell us what book to buy, Dr. Phil to tell us how to treat each other, Angelina Jolie to tell us what we should be concerned with in the world, Dr. Ruth to tell us how to love each other, Bill O’Reilly to tell us what we should be pissed off about and Jerry Springer to entertain us telling us stories about how “trashy people” act.
Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, We make chicken right, you deserve a break today, The fresher picker upper. Wait , wait that’s not all ! I’m Billy Mayes. Buy our crap because its new and improved.
Politicians can lie because we want them to. They can cheat because we expect them to. They can toss out political ads like yesterdays garbage and some supposed “GURU” like James Carville can make a career of telling some politician to win by trashing his opponents character because we love to win, hate to lose yet don’t want to do the work it takes to get the job done.
The sad amazing and stupid thing is, all we would have to do to fix the whole mess is go to the polls on election day and vote. See Politico Speak is an art form .
I’d love to talk to you more about it , but football is on and I need to get my weekly vicarious thrill by living through my dream of being an NFL quarterback. Go Colts !@!@!@!
Welcome to the BIGMIKERANT , Comments are welcome (Keep it clean and I will publish it.) I fully support the 1st and 2nd amendments. Nasty comments and SPAM are deleted.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Children say the darndest things !
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture." Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
And so it goes......
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture." Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
And so it goes......
Thursday, October 5, 2006
Bubba's story
My wife sent this to and I thought it was funny. Being as that I am a sharing , thoughtful , giving person I thought I would send it out to the world as well. -(yeah right !)-bigmike
Bubba, a furniture dealer from Tennessee, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris (France, not Paris, Tennessee) to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit A small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.
She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner.
Later, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance.
They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
To this day, Bubba has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business
BuBBa
Bubba, a furniture dealer from Tennessee, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris (France, not Paris, Tennessee) to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit A small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.
She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner.
Later, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance.
They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
To this day, Bubba has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
IDLE THOUGHTS
IDLE THOUGHTS
I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed
it.
I had amnesia once -- or was it twice?
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows
up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
Experience is the thing you have left when every thing else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
The shampoo promised me extra body and I gained three pounds.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look
like a nail.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man
who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Amish school shooting
Now there is a story about a guy who killed several little Amish girls at an Amish school.
No sarcasm today, just some heartfelt sorrow that we have to put up with nuts like this guy.
Too bad he couldn't have just shot himself before he went to the school.
The Amish say they are already to forgive him and are thinking about how they can help his family get through this terrible time.
Sorry to say I couldn't be anywhere this generous.
-bigmike
Monday, October 2, 2006
15 minutes of fame
Andy Warhol I think it was once said sic..."that everyone eventually gets their 15 minutes of fame"or something to that affect.
Evidently he never anticipated Ken Jennings, the geek that won all the Jeopardy money after winning on 74 or 75 shows a couple of years ago.
This guy is like having a pimple on your butt that won't pop.
He never goes away and he is a pain in the rear.
Hey Ken, Your 15 minutes is up.
Move on you media hound !
Evidently he never anticipated Ken Jennings, the geek that won all the Jeopardy money after winning on 74 or 75 shows a couple of years ago.
This guy is like having a pimple on your butt that won't pop.
He never goes away and he is a pain in the rear.
Hey Ken, Your 15 minutes is up.
Move on you media hound !
And Now ! - Some more bad jokes !
Looking to buy a frog?
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money."
Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
A neutron at a bar
A neutron walks into a bar.
"I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
Some very common traits in two drunks
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?""I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man.
I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?""Dublin," comes the reply."
I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?""Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?" he asks the bartender."
Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."
Three vampires go to a bar
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like.
The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."
The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."
The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some plasma."
The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct.
You want two bloods and a blood light?"
Football stupidity
Yesterday the big sports news of the day was that a humongous defensive player stomped on the un-helmeted head of a running back who had just scored a touchdown.
Took a bunch of stitches to close the guys wounds and the offending player was booted from the game. His coach later said he would be punished for what he did. He even had a talk with reporters where he said his own act was "disgusting", " and had no place in the game."
Please.
Give me a break.
How you gonna punish this guy?
The coach and the league has basically no power over millionaires anyway. You gonna make him not play for 6-8 games? Fine him 100 K? Throw him out for the season?
So what!
He gets to sit at home in his McMansion , counting the money he has in the bank already? He gets to be interviewed on ESPN about what a louse he is and how he is gonna atone for his mistake?
Is this the same game where it is OK to basically slam into anyone else on the opposing team with full speed just to prevent a first down? You can break his arm and both legs as long as the rules aren't violated?
You ever watched the pile after a fumble? Punches are thrown, heads are kicked, elbows are smashed into each others faces, and this is any worse? Just because the guy got a couple of stitches? Or because the camera caught him in the act?
I see all the time where a guy is basically down (by tackle) and some other guy will throw his body , head first into the fray to keep him from moving forward 3 inches.
I see all the time where a quarterback is slammed into the ground (rules notwithstanding) by some huge defensive player and they merely call that a sack.
You can put a player in the hospital with a "legal" hit and make doctors remove his spleen and that’s OK, but this is somehow different?
Get over it.
This is exactly why people watch football in the first place. Madness, mayhem, injuries and broken legs are what keeps fans coming back. I mean have you ever listened to the crown with their chants of "Kill the umpire", or "Murder the bums" or something like that?
Who watches NASCAR for the racing?
We all want to see the big wreck!
Pitchers pitch at the batters heads and then both benches clear into a fight on the field with coaches and players duking it out, Basketball players commit "Hard fouls" (by slamming the guy into the floor while he is shooting), hockey players slam into each other at full speed and then switch to boxing when they get pissed, golfers throw their clubs and get prissy with the audience (the gallery) when somebody makes a sound with a camera or a camera phone and on and on and on.
Yeah I know, what the guy did was stupid. Ignorant as a matter of fact.
It was also assault with intent to injure.
You want to stop this crap, make the penalty fit the crime in all sports.
If you or I kick a guy in the head and make him get stitches what do you think they would do to us?
Do the crime, do the time, is what I say.
Arrest his butt for assault and make him where pink jail clothes for a couple of years.
That'll teach him.
Whatever.
Took a bunch of stitches to close the guys wounds and the offending player was booted from the game. His coach later said he would be punished for what he did. He even had a talk with reporters where he said his own act was "disgusting", " and had no place in the game."
Please.
Give me a break.
How you gonna punish this guy?
The coach and the league has basically no power over millionaires anyway. You gonna make him not play for 6-8 games? Fine him 100 K? Throw him out for the season?
So what!
He gets to sit at home in his McMansion , counting the money he has in the bank already? He gets to be interviewed on ESPN about what a louse he is and how he is gonna atone for his mistake?
Is this the same game where it is OK to basically slam into anyone else on the opposing team with full speed just to prevent a first down? You can break his arm and both legs as long as the rules aren't violated?
You ever watched the pile after a fumble? Punches are thrown, heads are kicked, elbows are smashed into each others faces, and this is any worse? Just because the guy got a couple of stitches? Or because the camera caught him in the act?
I see all the time where a guy is basically down (by tackle) and some other guy will throw his body , head first into the fray to keep him from moving forward 3 inches.
I see all the time where a quarterback is slammed into the ground (rules notwithstanding) by some huge defensive player and they merely call that a sack.
You can put a player in the hospital with a "legal" hit and make doctors remove his spleen and that’s OK, but this is somehow different?
Get over it.
This is exactly why people watch football in the first place. Madness, mayhem, injuries and broken legs are what keeps fans coming back. I mean have you ever listened to the crown with their chants of "Kill the umpire", or "Murder the bums" or something like that?
Who watches NASCAR for the racing?
We all want to see the big wreck!
Pitchers pitch at the batters heads and then both benches clear into a fight on the field with coaches and players duking it out, Basketball players commit "Hard fouls" (by slamming the guy into the floor while he is shooting), hockey players slam into each other at full speed and then switch to boxing when they get pissed, golfers throw their clubs and get prissy with the audience (the gallery) when somebody makes a sound with a camera or a camera phone and on and on and on.
Yeah I know, what the guy did was stupid. Ignorant as a matter of fact.
It was also assault with intent to injure.
You want to stop this crap, make the penalty fit the crime in all sports.
If you or I kick a guy in the head and make him get stitches what do you think they would do to us?
Do the crime, do the time, is what I say.
Arrest his butt for assault and make him where pink jail clothes for a couple of years.
That'll teach him.
Whatever.
Sunday, October 1, 2006
Automobiles
Something was mentioned to me the other day which I found kind of amusing.
A friend of mine had a car break down on them, a simple electronic part that took 15 minutes to replace. Cost him a tow bill to the shop ($85) and three lost hours of time (from work) to have the work done, plus the pasts and labor. Now keep in mind what he said was basically blurted out in frustration and anxiety, but taken out of context it is still pretty funny.
He said "There are houses that last 300 years in America, you would think they would be able to make a car last trouble free for 100,000 miles !" I really didn't say anything to him at the time, because I did not want to add to his frustration and make it worse. I did however convince him to get subscribed to AAA.
You see , here's the thing.
They can make a car that basically lasts forever. That is not the issue. the problem is if they made a car last that long and it was never obsolete, we couldn't afford to buy it. A car designed to last 300,000 miles would cost 75,000 dollars or more.
Same with electronics and tires and a lot of other consumer goods. I mean after all they can make a truck tire for 18 wheelers that lasts 250,000 miles. It costs 400 dollars to buy it, but they can make it.
Consumer goods are planned to be obsolete. The concept is actually called "Planned Obsolescence". We throw away TV's, computers, clothes, paper goods, VCR's, DVD players and just about anything else after a short period of time, because we desire to have the latest and greatest and because this is the way American business (Capitalist consumer business).
There is no need to repair a computer if it costs 300 dollars to fix and Wally world will sell you a new crappy one for 750 dollars. Doesn’t make any sense to spend a lot of money to fix old when new is just a few dollars away does it ?
Somebody has to keep the landfill employees in work don’t they?
A friend of mine had a car break down on them, a simple electronic part that took 15 minutes to replace. Cost him a tow bill to the shop ($85) and three lost hours of time (from work) to have the work done, plus the pasts and labor. Now keep in mind what he said was basically blurted out in frustration and anxiety, but taken out of context it is still pretty funny.
He said "There are houses that last 300 years in America, you would think they would be able to make a car last trouble free for 100,000 miles !" I really didn't say anything to him at the time, because I did not want to add to his frustration and make it worse. I did however convince him to get subscribed to AAA.
You see , here's the thing.
They can make a car that basically lasts forever. That is not the issue. the problem is if they made a car last that long and it was never obsolete, we couldn't afford to buy it. A car designed to last 300,000 miles would cost 75,000 dollars or more.
Same with electronics and tires and a lot of other consumer goods. I mean after all they can make a truck tire for 18 wheelers that lasts 250,000 miles. It costs 400 dollars to buy it, but they can make it.
Consumer goods are planned to be obsolete. The concept is actually called "Planned Obsolescence". We throw away TV's, computers, clothes, paper goods, VCR's, DVD players and just about anything else after a short period of time, because we desire to have the latest and greatest and because this is the way American business (Capitalist consumer business).
There is no need to repair a computer if it costs 300 dollars to fix and Wally world will sell you a new crappy one for 750 dollars. Doesn’t make any sense to spend a lot of money to fix old when new is just a few dollars away does it ?
Somebody has to keep the landfill employees in work don’t they?
Disposable technology
OK, I'll admit it.
I am a geek.
A full fledged over the top geek.
No pocket protector, no taped glasses, no high water pants and a bucketfull of attitude but a geek nonetheless.
I start talking about computers or technology to normal people and the conversation will turn to clock cycles or frame rates or Front side bus speeds and I can literally see the eyes of the person I am talking to glaze over right before my eyes. It is an amazing thing. Sometimes instead of being rude I will say something like "Have you heard about the new dual core processors?", and then count how many people look at their watch and literally figure out a way to run from the conversation. It is downright amazing ! "Love to talk to you about it , but I gotta go, I have a thing..." "Wow, look at the time...". Makes my sides hurt from laughing.
On occasion I read the Atlanta Journal, as this is the nearest thing to a newspaper where I live. Not much of one but it is the best I can do from a vending machine. In this newspaper there is a guy named Bill Husted, who writes about technology for the masses. He is actually pretty good at what he does, which is to explain very complex things in very simple terms for those of you who don’t know or don’t care enough about computers to learn any of it on their own.
http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/technobuddy/index.html
I couldn’t do it. It would be the same as working on a help desk. I can’t do stupidity. I know from reading his columns that he has explained Spyware at least a dozen times in the last 2 years.
Recently he had to stop recommending an excellent Spyware remover (Spybot- Search and Destroy) because so many people were so stupid they couldn’t differentiate between the real program at download.com and a knock off that actually plants Spyware with a very similar name.
Can you imagine the need to dumb down your average everyday life to meet the needs of the mass audience (read idiots) who couldn’t understand a simple phrase if they wanted to? “Ok, Billy, this is called a “KEY”, can you say KEY?” “It is used to turn on a switch in a car. It makes the car go vroooom, vroooom”. Geez, give me a break. Just say if you are too stupid to understand this, go ask a car salesman to explain it to you and give the rest of us who do care the real scoop on the information.
Or maybe , I should write a column for geeks…
-bigmike
I am a geek.
A full fledged over the top geek.
No pocket protector, no taped glasses, no high water pants and a bucketfull of attitude but a geek nonetheless.
I start talking about computers or technology to normal people and the conversation will turn to clock cycles or frame rates or Front side bus speeds and I can literally see the eyes of the person I am talking to glaze over right before my eyes. It is an amazing thing. Sometimes instead of being rude I will say something like "Have you heard about the new dual core processors?", and then count how many people look at their watch and literally figure out a way to run from the conversation. It is downright amazing ! "Love to talk to you about it , but I gotta go, I have a thing..." "Wow, look at the time...". Makes my sides hurt from laughing.
On occasion I read the Atlanta Journal, as this is the nearest thing to a newspaper where I live. Not much of one but it is the best I can do from a vending machine. In this newspaper there is a guy named Bill Husted, who writes about technology for the masses. He is actually pretty good at what he does, which is to explain very complex things in very simple terms for those of you who don’t know or don’t care enough about computers to learn any of it on their own.
http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/technobuddy/index.html
I couldn’t do it. It would be the same as working on a help desk. I can’t do stupidity. I know from reading his columns that he has explained Spyware at least a dozen times in the last 2 years.
Recently he had to stop recommending an excellent Spyware remover (Spybot- Search and Destroy) because so many people were so stupid they couldn’t differentiate between the real program at download.com and a knock off that actually plants Spyware with a very similar name.
Can you imagine the need to dumb down your average everyday life to meet the needs of the mass audience (read idiots) who couldn’t understand a simple phrase if they wanted to? “Ok, Billy, this is called a “KEY”, can you say KEY?” “It is used to turn on a switch in a car. It makes the car go vroooom, vroooom”. Geez, give me a break. Just say if you are too stupid to understand this, go ask a car salesman to explain it to you and give the rest of us who do care the real scoop on the information.
Or maybe , I should write a column for geeks…
-bigmike
Intrepreting Bushismns
In his weekly radio address President Bush said, "We do not create terrorism by fighting terrorism. The terrorists are at war against us because they hate everything America stands for, and because they know we stand in the way of their ambitions to take over the Middle East. We are fighting to stop them from taking over Iraq and turning that country into a safe haven that would be even more valuable than the one they lost in Afghanistan."
What he meant was :
We do not create terrorism by fighting terrorism.
-Don't start no crap and there won't be none.
The terrorists are at war against us because they hate everything America stands for, and because they know we stand in the way of their ambitions to take over the Middle East.
-They can't have our oil. Screw 'em, let 'em find their own.
We are fighting to stop them from taking over Iraq and turning that country into a safe haven that would be even more valuable than the one they lost in Afghanistan.
What he meant was :
We do not create terrorism by fighting terrorism.
-Don't start no crap and there won't be none.
The terrorists are at war against us because they hate everything America stands for, and because they know we stand in the way of their ambitions to take over the Middle East.
-They can't have our oil. Screw 'em, let 'em find their own.
We are fighting to stop them from taking over Iraq and turning that country into a safe haven that would be even more valuable than the one they lost in Afghanistan.
-We don't have a clue what to do next and the only people around here who did, have left.
-We'll just stay the course.
What a fabulous president he is.
So smart and erudite.
Such an astute politician.
So engaging, well respected for his intellect and so refined in his manner.
What a diplomat.
Hey Mabel, get me a beer willya?
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