Give money to help others, don’t ever loan it
I know, before you say it, this sounds like a load of crap doesn’t it? Why in the world would you just give money to another person without an expectation of repayment?
Well, before you get too deep in disagreement with me, let me clarify it for you. I never said you couldn’t expect to receive repayment. I just said philosophically, it makes sense to me to call it a gift and not a loan. I know, I’m weird. I think that sometimes we argue over semantics so much that we lose the meanings of what we say in the fiery dust storms of what we meant to say.
Here’s the thing.
Say for example a friend of yours (a very good friend) asks you for a $500 dollar loan. They promise to pay it back in 30 days. You agree and loan them the money, with the 30 day promise and you agree to a flat interest charge of say 10 %. The person borrows the money with the promise to pay it back plus 10 % in 30 days.
45 days go by and no payments come in. 60 days and 90 days go by and no payments come in.
You call your friend and can’t reach them.
You go by their house and they make excuse after flimsy excuse as to why they don’t have the money.
6 months later you still haven’t received a dime back from them as promised for the loan you made.
At this point you are probably thinking about your friend in a negative way aren't you?
What now? Do you call them all hours of the day and night and make threats ?
Are they still your friend? Are you now thinking like a loan shark? Are you gonna send “Vinnie the Nose” to their house to either get your money or break their legs? What exactly are you going to do about the money or about your friendship? How important was your friendship? Lets say you needed the money for something important like a car payment or rent of your own. What the heck do you do now? Chances are you have lost a very good friend forever over a measly $500 and your car payment is going to be late.
Sucks all around doesn't it? You are probably going to say something about whose fault it is or are going to say how the person was not a very good friend because they "lied", about repaying it or something along those lines.
I think it is stupid and it makes very little difference who you assign the fault to. I also think you based your deductions about friendships on a very fragile basis if you do.
Does this resonate with you at all ?
I submit the problem is not the friend. Maybe it is in their agreed intention in promising something they could not deliver, but as they say “The road to hell is paved with good intention”
The problem is, in my humble opinion, is in how you thought about the initial loan in the first place.
If you had thought about the money as a gift with a payment plan and you could afford to lose the money, it would not have been any different to you than if you had bought $500 of stock from a company that then went bankrupt. You might have been disappointed that the money was gone maybe forever, but you may still have had a friend. You may have been able to forgive them and help them through a rough patch. You might even have gave them a little more time or even a little more money if they needed it.
If you couldn’t afford to give the money away and take a chance on losing it altogether, you couldn’t afford to loan it could you? It's better to tell your friend that you don't have the money to loan than it is to lose a friend over money you couldn't afford to lose, no matter if the amount is thousands of dollars or 10 bucks for gas. The amount in question makes absolutely no difference at all.
I think I’d rather have less money and more friends anytime.
I wouldn't want you as my friend if you would dump me over money.
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