Parenting

An associate asked me the other day if I liked being a parent.

I told him that if "I could make a living being a parent it would be the best job anybody could ever have". The funny thing , unlike a lot of the normal back and forth that goes on everyday between people as you meet them and talk to them every day, I meant that one.

It is not like when somebody says "How are you ?", and the automatic answer is "Fine", "And yourself?". Its more like, testifying under oath, only you agree to do it with your hand on Gods shoulder and not just a bible.

I think the best thing I ever did and the things I am most proud of are my children. Weird huh?

I mean, I don't take responsibility for their accomplishments nor do I feel somehow accountable for their mistakes as an adult. Its not a "vicarious thrill" of living through my children that makes me proud, its the fact that even when they totally screw up they have the presence of mind to take responsibility for what they do.

After all, children are the exact same as adults, with a whole lot less life experience to base decisions on. Being twenty years older doesn't make me a supreme being, It just means I've had 7300 more chances to screw up and the next time something comes up, I have more instances of right and wrong to base my current decision on, in my view.

So talk to your children (once they are old enough to think for themselves) like adults. Expect them to be responsible for themselves and to be accountable to themselves first.

The approach is what matters I think. I have always said I am not raising children, I am raising adults.

After all, when I am 75 and old and infirm, they will be picking out my retirement home for me I'll bet.

-bigmike