The man in the bed was a constant dreamer. He lived to daydream and ponder and could often be found with his head in the clouds , having no connection to his surroundings for hours on end. Today was no exception. He was frequently confused. After all, he was a man.
As the light came streaming through the front window, the sun hit him in the face and set off the inevitable but very slow waking process common in humans, he was in the last bit of a very exciting dream. "Shift, shift, make the turn, outrun the Russians !! "He was Jason Bourne in this one and it started to fade. Once eye clicked open, the other one stuck closed with what felt like a tasty jelly. All at once he sat straight up in bed "What the Hell", he exclaimed and then little by little his consciousness returned. The dream slowly began to fade. He blinked a few times, coughed, and then scratched. A primal stretch came over his body. He looked around the bedroom in the dim morning light. There to the right just as he had imagined, was a clock radio he couldn't place. Looking left he saw a nightstand he knew he had never saw before. A trash can with a big liquor bottle and fast food trash overflowing in one corner, a tiny refrigerator in the other. Cheesy curtains and a generic TV nightstand combo in front of him. "This blanket is strange, the pillows are different, this bed is all wrong", he thought. His mouth tasted like the bottom of a trashcan.
Today, started out like no other day, he thought, as it slowly began to come into focus and dawn on his conscious being.
"I am ", he thought" in a strange bedroom, I've never seen before". He decided to investigate. Birds chirping in the background. Dogs barking in the distance. The roar and rumble of cars and trucks barely heard over the din of the TV. Throwing the blanket back, he looked out the front bedroom window. "How curious, I don't recognize a thing I am looking at", he pondered. "Ah, there is my car, down there in a parking lot". A view off in the distance of the Ocean, a big stretch of white sandy beach with a few early morning sun worshippers walking by the water. He looked down with his one good bleary blood-shot eye and realized he was stark naked. "Why do I have lipstick smeared all over my chest, and where did these scratches come from?", he was beside himself with no answers to all the questions. "Did he meet a girl and come back to her place? "Oh man, I have to figure this out and come up with some kind of good believable story to cover it, my wife is going to be pissed if she finds out about this one !"
He decided to look around this curious room and try to figure out where he was. Padding on bare feet , he went into the bathroom. "This just keeps getting weirder", he thought. Towels, washcloths, and clothes dotted the floor. Two Newspapers stacked on the floor next to the toilet. A couple of magazines were laying next to the Television. He noted a whipped cream can and a produce bag on the floor. Strawberries, bananas and cucumbers were in the refrigerator. The sink in the bathroom smelled like a horse farm. His clothes were strewn all over the room , battered about like he had taken them off in a strong windstorm. A bra and a swimming suit were hanging in the bathtub. "What did I do yesterday", he wondered. "How in the hell did I end up here?" "I wonder how much trouble I am in this time?", these thoughts started tumbling through his head, raging as a wildfire. The closet in the corner had his clothes, two suitcases and some female garments in it. The was all kinds of girl junk in the bathroom with lotions, crèmes, makeup's hair products, sunscreen, insect repellant and various other bottles of female goop.
One razor with one can of shaving cream looked to be the male contribution.
He started to imagine a scenario where he had spent the night drinking and chasing women. Maybe he had met up with a friendly girl, who had put him up for the evening. "I wonder if I will see her again?", he pondered. "When I do , will I know what she looks like?", "Will she recognize me?", "Why does my mouth taste this bad?" Just them the lock on the door started to rattle, he panicked. He was naked and somebody was coming in. He jumped out of bed and started looking for his clothes.
Just as he was pulling up his underwear, She entered the room. "Morning honey", she said. "I have breakfast from the Mickey D's across the lot., How did you sleep ?"
He was confused. His wife ? Mickey D's? across the lot ? Oh hell, wait a minute", he thought "Ocean?, I live 500 miles from the Ocean. Where the hell am I?, what is going on?", man now he was worried. "What did we do with whipped cream and produce?". His mouth tasted like he licked an ashtray and swallowed the butts. He didn't smoke. Did he travel in time and space? Was he in an alternate universe? He knew he had to answer and try to make a little sense. She couldn't know he had no clue where he was or if this was real. "Hi honey", he said, I slept pretty good , I guess". She smiled and said "Well get up and have some coffee and eat your breakfast and we'll go take a swim in the Ocean, and don't waste a lot of time getting going either, because I want to lay in the sun before it gets too hot. Remember you only got 5 days for this vacation, and even though this is just a Motel 6, I want to get as much out of these 5 days as I can."
He knew then that he was in an alternate universe, OR maybe it is possible he thought,that he should not have put the big bottle of Jack Daniels up in the front seat of the car with him as she was driving down here. Long trips had always made him nervous. She was a very bad driver.
Today, started out like no other day alright.
"But why, " he thought, "Does my mouth taste like the bottom of a trashcan, and what the hell was the produce for?"
Thankx for reading my rant , ...er, ah, story !
bigmike
Visit my blog online at http://bigmikerant.blogspot.com/
I encourage you to leave your own comments or reactions to my rants (even if you don't agree with me) in the comments section on each post.
